Ep 94: Hot Mayonnaise with Special Guest Eric Hughes
Stephan we've been waiting for our special guest Erik for fifteen minutes and if I turn on the TV. Wait sure Anthony. Why don't you put on some planet Earth by the way this massive headache so I took some pills from your medicine cabinet? Why is your advil in a plastic bag? Oh my God why would would you take medicine from someone else. That's where the pills blue I I think so like a bright blue like a sky blue. Yeah I'd say. More of a Robin's egg blue to doesn't mat- whatever those were my painkillers for my surgery. I took one every twenty four hours and I it was high as balls. How many did you take? Oh Sweet Krishna. I took four O.. K. Deep breaths just watch planet Earth Earth and. Relax and I'll get you some water but I think of starting to freak out already. I can hear my skin talking. Oh my God it's talking about European. PM Politics Make It. Stop just full goose. On deep in the desert suburbs of Phoenix Arizona. Two brothers are about to make a cash but has trouble foot. The eldest brother seven has consumed enough pain killers to drop of full grown bull African elephant and now the next episode of the podcast is in grave danger. What the heck attack attempt to help his sibling? Anthony goes on to find nourishment. He makes a mad dash to the phone where he dials. Domino's Domino's as salient dose of Meat Lovers Pizza. We'll put his brother's stomach at ease. Suddenly Man's greatest Predator approaches to adult females Stefan Anthony as wives they knock on the door to check. Accountable is if stems sees her husband. In this current state it will be certain death. Why do I feel what you'll Sir Anthony X.? Quickly in throws seven into the bathroom to shield him from his wife to make convincing Anthony towns on the shower although confused as to why Stephan Shower Anthony. How's the wives shrug it off and go back downstairs to enjoy the Mehta's episode a in Paradise Stephan? PODCAST will live to see another day. I I it podcast. Two brothers that rated statement to be taken literally was up. Seven hyper hyperbole. Hello everybody welcome to hyperbole. PODCAST SELF-HELP PODCASTS for the helpless. We've waited for twenty four hours at. I am now fully early sober. My name is Stephan. I'm your first host and my name is Anthony and I just changed Stephens diaper for the last time thank you. I really appreciate at that. You might have to change one more time because I got a bun in the oven but we are going to stop talking about that. We're going to introduce our very special guest everybody. Please welcome Eric Hughes Hello. It's okay if I use your real name right and share your every day. Oh that's good. Eric is a very funny person. He's a comedian. To stand up comic. He is an actor author. He speaks fifteen languages ages and I think he has the Guinness World Record for biggest subway sandwich ever consumed Sarah it. Actually the title is the biggest biggest. Got It eric. Yeah biggest negative nice. That's beautiful anyway. Welcome to the show. Thank you you for US having you. You are so happy that I'm here. We are our man so anyway Eric's going to be helping US dish out some wisdom and advice to all y'all so let's go ahead and get started. We're going to top things things off. Start things off with a review from apple podcasts. And this one anthony. Would you like to read it. Yeah I it. What's it fits me So yeah if this review titled Mostly Puns and Poop Jokes five stars take their advice vice your own risk but if you like wordplay in fecal humor this is the podcast for you. Anthony is a poop joke master. Thank you you and Stephan is a funny dude. I often have to restrain my laughter listening to this show at work highly recommended. Bt what let by Apple podcast thanks bt what yes thank you very much. That is good twitter friend of ours. Ars Positively Wolf One and he has a podcast. It's the Wgn podcast watch this movie podcast. It's also great ones who check it out anyway. All all of you guys. That haven't left review. Please do leave a review because we need it. It's essential that we have it otherwise we will die Anthony has sickness where he has reviewed deficiency. It's the doctor said that he needs five stars day or he's done it's in his bones. He's he has a bread it's spreading. It's what is it called him to me. It's metastasized My what my reviewed efficiency. What is it called? What's the technical term I don't want to bore anyone with its long Latin. Okay just like excellent dammit. You beat me to it anyway. Well Anthony's long and Latin thing is is it's really tough so anyway LE- review. Help us out help. Anthony next up is quote of the week and this is where we break down the meaning of quotes from great people to reflect on. Ourself help. So we've been referring to instead of great people a great robot called Inspire bought and it's an AI driven machine sheen and it squeezes. Life's lemons out for us and sprays us with that citrus wisdom so eric would you like to read this week's quote connected by Inspire Bot absolutely auto erotic fixation how primates defeat narcissism. Yeah it's a it's a deep quote. And what does that say to you guys. I I mean to me. It's just like when you're too into yourself you just got beat it and then after registry how sad you are. And then you're not as much of a narcissist. It's almost like we evolved to survive auto erotic six you know. It's almost like the belt was invented. Saddam selective pressure to hurry things along the strongest next survive. DARWINISM ISM Jesus election. There's a subspecies of humans. A super strong neck Acts were weeded out there. It's like it's like Lion King instead of an elephant graveyard. It's just a bunch of skeletons with a belt around their neck. Check those of the week. It's been ten years since David Carradine. David I don't originally. I'm not GonNa Lie David did he. Yeah Eric. I wanted to air to reflect on some years ago. He's my right now. Oh man well. He died doing what he loved himself. No I never got that belt bag. They buried him with it it. It's an open casket. I'm almost choking on my tears over here. This is so sad. You know the trouble is. There's no safer when you're by yourself the player mode. It's like if there's a safe word in automatic identification and no one's around to hear it does it exist steep man that's next next level shed anyways. Thank you driven robot inspire. We're going to think about this one in all of our advice. So let's move on to the meaty part of the podcast. This part is Beef and this is the meaty part where we answer questions from fans from read it from twitter anywhere. The Internet provides stupid questions. We give stupid answers. Oh that's a great idea. That is uncharted uncharted territory for us. But we need to lean on over there except for fans we. Your questions are Super Smart and we love you. So that being said Ed Eric Fire Eric. Would you like to read the first question from a fan absolutely question. One from Fan Larussa. A job rose. I'm officially adult in now. I have a job where I have to travel for work by plane since this is my first first time. I'm not really sure how to prepare. What do I need to know before I go love? y'All Larussa Oh gee I defer to others. I've never flown on a plane for work. Have you ever flown on a plane. I Have I how how I have flown on a plane at all at all. I guess bring clothes You're going to need those does well. Yeah you should bring close but you have to watch out because the airlines fuck you if you don't wear them so no but they'll especially Delta's they'll fuck anyone. It's the essay policy. It's yeah it's government standards but no navy. Yeah I usually do all my travel for work by boat but I would say a lot of translates over and I would say Go with Spirit Airlines. It's is the cheapest so it's GonNa Save Your company money and they're going to like that. Yeah they they save money on their lack of bathrooms and basic necessities. Yeah you also have to step to bring a diaper. 'cause you might have to soil yourself. 'cause they don't have bathrooms you know. And they bought up all the Boeing Max seven thirty seven so every trip you gotta prepare by saying your last farewells. To your loved ones John Larussa little known fact. You can get around the three ounce bottle rule by freezing all of your liquids. There's no rules against solids. Oh my God. Is that a wife Hack right there. it now so is. Don't actually try them. Please Orissa if you dissolve solve all your liquids and gases. Ben You can bring them because there's no. I'm sorry I'm not a chemistry. I was GONNA bring a gas canister onto a plane. Bannister this okay. They're like yeah. It's it's not a liquid. It's not water. Water isn't here talking water. Get that out of here like air. That is fine Aquafina. Get It fucking Dan you fuck that what else. What else does she need? What are what are the other necessities bare necessities? You'RE GONNA need. What would a bear bring on a plane bananas? A bear bears bring that right blue. Banana Blewett Nana's jets and he. He pointed right there yeah lamb. I think you'll probably need what do I. Why do I wear a suit? Oh here this is actually good. Where dress up nice? So if you dress up nice they're going to treat you like you're a business person and whereas if you dress up in your pajamas they're gonNA treat you like trash and put you in the back of the plane that he's happening to me. That's that's how it works even though you get your seat assigned to you before you get on the plane. If you dress up you get a big chance of getting upgraded. Is that true. A work sixty percent of the time. Okay I I've never been upgraded and maybe it's because it's where yeah so every time you go. Oh travel even if it's for a family event where fucking suit just look it up. I feel like I would sweat my balls off. I were no auditors and planes. You will hill. But that's the price you pay for first class swimming but also I feel like I'd rather not be sweaty in coach than just wrenched wrenched in first class. No no you've never taste and you shed can you. Could you get like a like one of those a button-down like NBA a suits and just rip it off in the first class. So if your check Tito t-shirt yeah just wear a shirt and a t-shirt but put a tie on or something and a top hat for business something like that Prince brings yes. It's like the top at trust like the monopoly but no bring snacks. Definitely bring snacks. I I would say all it solid snacks no organ applesauce. They'll lose their minds over that shit or solid liquid. There's nothing that'll hold up the TSA line more than Apple. Something done try that. What's the most applesauce we can get through? Tsa Hey guys next to video. Fill our suitcase with applesauce. An EDU plane. I'll do cinnamon. I'll do mixed ext rose water down. Cinnamon Yeah you might as well do sugar-free getting nerd. Oh sorry guys those trying to add another variable All right fine. I'll just do the gas form of of applesauce you'll you'll do. The human byproduct of applesauce. Yes so anyway so bring So bringing apple saw well. Don't bring bring a snack trail mix maybe crackers egg salad sandwich Apple Pie. Bring the Somalias you gotTa Salmon. Ask your ask your roommates if they want to share or or if they if they would like a piece I thought you were going to say eat your shit and ask them if they wanted to share their join us. Share your I'm a little hungry. Just read and Mayo but not a little bit of Mayo. Just bring a jar full of Mayo and just stick your bread reading it. 'cause they're not allowed to say yeah. Bring like four. Three ounce bottles of Mayo can you do that. Is there a limit on how many 'cause I've had multiple table three ounce bottles before life hack you just have to just has to be inconvenient like it's not like a they don't care about the total volume of liquid. They just want on it to be in container smaller than three ounces. Just like forty seven three ounce containers a man as an a loaf of bread. I think you too stumbled across a life hack brother and then you can have an empty larger jar and once you get through the line you just once you're putting your shoes back on yet. Condense it all back into one simple and then you have thirty vials. That are empty. You can fill with other things like catch up water for the plane. Oh Manny's water yum it's in Q.. I'm working on a patent for that. All Right Let's Shush Sean about that north to taste your man as water. I've told you this million You guys will see what's the name of it Anthony's he's custom nannies. Water Oh yum yum yum than water slogan keep data direct sunlight. Oh they'll have republic like enlists terex unless it doesn't matter. Yeah I was trying to say Listeria but that does it works. Oh well I don't know what that even means so. I think it's a disease you can get from. Hot Man is hot. Manny's is that we need to. Ah Yes call it hot man a million subscribers. Oh Oh aw I weak knees waiting to jump ships. They haven't dumped the toilet. Let's get hot man is on Hotman On the air. I mean. Think about it. If you're scrolling passed a bunch of podcasts. You when called hot mayonnaise. You'RE GONNA YOU'RE GONNA at least look at it. Oh Yeah Kit. Kit could our slogan be spread. The love man is by by the way I was just thinking of Miracle Whip. Doesn't it sound like a relic. RPG like a Miracle Whip -gratulations. You found the miracle West. It's like super powerful marriage. Cuban I already found a more powerful whips. I'm just GONNA leave it in the chest. The poor miracle whip neglected again. Anyway so I think we really stumbled across some gems here for Loretta. Thirty vials of hot man as user with a necktie. So you don't sweat but he's still get upgraded don't getting Oh yeah don't do not or maybe she's maybe she's one of those subhumans that's evolved the really really thick neck. Yeah so it's hilarious. Nick is your neck. Yeah Yeah what what that neck do I guess. Oh No that's creepy. I shouldn't ask just test the durability of your neck with maybe a wicker belt out or something like that and then and in if we hear from you you're up for it okay. I think I think we've answered this question to its fullest extent. Anything I WANNA WANNA thank you for sticking her neck out. She's going to have a first great great day at work. If you do get a mark from the belt rub. Some hot man is on it and that gets rid of whatever what is it. Yeah IT'S A. It's a cure. All it's an elixir for all your ails. I just imagined my dignity. Yeah I just imagined my big fat Greek wedding. How the DAD's like put windex on it? Maybe there's like a Turkish thing where the dads are like. You just gotTa Rub Hot Mayo on it and it fixes everything like Turkey. I don't know 'cause Turkeys really good with Mayo. They're not uh-huh. I Dunno Canadian then that that would make sense. Yeah Yeah they love their Mayo. It's the National Food of Canada. It's the spiciest can eat very selective pallet the Canadians have Putin hooting and Mayo. Maple come on Maple Mayo Maple Putin okay before we all get really hungry. Let's let's move on. I just thought about that for a a sleeper. Yeah let's move onto our new segment CELEB- advice celebs may seem like near perfect examples of human beings and they are but they get a pickle sometimes too which is why we dedicate a full segment of our show to give them even more attention. It's time for Celeb- CELEB- advice. I need we need a little ditty for that some music or something anyway. This article brought to us by. TMZ thank you TMZ GMC. You guys are doing. God's work uh so Lonzo ball admits. BBB shoes were defective. They quote exploded. Breaking King News. Lonzo ball is admitting he knew his five hundred dollar per pair. Big baller brand Zeo to prime sneakers were faulty and would explode slowed on him during games but he continued to hawk him anyway. Can I can I interject really quick. You May yes who the is Lonzo. Ball sounds it's like a circus clown. He felt like hey kids. I'm Alonzo Ball. He sounds like a sesame street character. squeaks is red nose and dances on a little circus ball. He does but he is a an American basketball player for the NBA. That make that fits all right shoes. I get it okay. All right yeah. It is known pairs of shoes but then they exploded exploded. Still Fe- let me give you this. Okay sorry let me go further. I don't I know how he talks. So I'M GONNA make up an accent for him. Does the author so they was not a hey ball admitted on josh hearts lighthearted podcast ball. Who was playing for the Lakers? During the BBB shoe era says he would bring four pairs of shoes two games because he knew they would break and he had to switch them out every quarter if you literally had my shoes from those games. They'll just exploded bro. So if you recall. BBB initially offered the co two prime shoes to the public for five hundred dollars pair in two thousand seventeen later announced they were scrapping. The original design in favor of the Zeo to Prime Remix shoe. You a completely different sneaker. It seems obvious now. BBB made the change unclear if any of the faulty shoes were actually sent to customers. When asked why he wore them even after he knew they were defective? Ball explained because there were my shoes I had debut them both says he actually hated wearing shoes and applied that his game suffered as a result. I it's crazy ball says why would I switched my shoes magically like God good again both says he kept a secret about his crappy shoes to himself to protect the brand things eventually went south with the big baller brand with Lonzo's manager later telling customers to throw their shoes in the trash and Lonzo himself eventually eventually covered up the BBB to sorry the BBB Tattoo. He had on his arm. Still Lavar claims. The brand is still alive and he's looking to relaunch at some point in the future and that's the end of that whimsical article. That sounded like a fantasy land of me. A lot of those words didn't seem real. I don't know about you guys but I really liked when they referred to him by his last name is called fall. That was my favorite favor part. Glad what was your favorite part of the story. Eric will clearly. They had to market these shoes as giving explosive performance. Oh yes this goes out with the bag well anyway so I just don't understand how he thought he was going to get away with just sweeping it under the run Did he think no one else's shoes we're gonNA explode just his yeah. I love how he went to the game with four pairs of shoes. It's like these Su- there's such a piece of shit. They will fall apart in fifteen minutes and he gave up and was late getting back out after halftime take seriously and I love how he was like. Oh it's almost like magic. When I stopped wearing shoes I played better? I I also don't know if explode is the right word because I still like his feet would have blown off if they exploded right. Will he literally really so yeah he might not have feet. We shouldn't judge so you're saying that every time a pair of his shoes exploded he just put the the shoes on his knobs and then it just got shorter and shorter and shorter. That's what I'm saying. He did say his game suffered as a result. Yeah what would make your game worse than not having feet. I guess fly not having hands but I'd say the only way it radio worse. Oh well the next article is about as his gloves his. Bb Guns Oh gloves or whatever anyway. So what's this guy's next move. We need to give him some advice he. He wanted his own shoes so we got so they exploded next. What is he gonNA? Okay whatever one buying right right now headphones. Would you buy a pair of headphones from him or would you worry that they would also explode. I would be very worried. I feel like he's making these things in his the basement. He's not even trying to outsource to China. He's like I'm on so ball. I can make my own and does it. Diy It's it's like Botham felt and some string from joannes and he's like tired. I'm the yet like what five hundred bucks appeared artisan except instead of Italian made. It's just like I don't know where the fuck Lonzo Lonzo ball is from made in New Mexico. I guess Canadian Arna sneakers the but they was not ready they was not they just exploded. Bro magically magic they literally literally magically exploded. This guy is the Shakespeare of our time. Okay so should should he. Yeah you're saying Eric. Make switch from shoes go to headphones on. Maybe I sure wouldn't mind I if the box if they were listen made if he changed the name of his company to just to just balls shoes I would buy some balls. I think that'd that'd be funny or maybe shoe balls. Even if they were terrible just like say I've got balls on my. You switched to just make an old man shoes that way. He doesn't have to worry about them. Exploding like they don't even walk anyway. Yeah they're just for show anyways like loafers penny loafers ball overs get his own penny in there now. Those old men's ball's GonNa hit the floor in multiple ways. I would fucking love to see that next from big baller brand okay and Penny loafers. Matt said that's the reliable. That's what his so at the bottom of the article it's his dad. Lavar ball claiming that the brand is still alive and looking to relaunch relaunch. That's that's the move so there are two balls in this story. Oh absolutely you gotta look closely to see both of them Lonzo Lavar Lavar. Ball's in a pod man to balls in a sack I think would be a better. Grows out. Doesn't fall far from the tree. Yeah Oh man okay. So make oldman shoes. His old man could wear them. I don't know how old Lavar ball is probably. They're probably be stoked on some balls. Well he is a ball. What is a ball? He himself is a ball. I love how I love how eric is going for creative solutions. For how how little ball can continue with his. What is it dream? Big baller brand and then Anthony's just hung up on balls. I can't get passed all. I don't think that's the funniest name ever do. You think if the big baller brand took back off he would re tattoo on his arm in the same spot. Goes back to the same guide covering up. I need undo this. Just topple air it's just embedded in his flash slash problem balls back. Maybe maybe he did the Tattoo himself and it actually just exploded. It's upside upside down and backwards. Because he did it in the mirror. Oh Man Yes so to sum up make shoes news for old men and what was yours anthony. I I think I was just piggybacking and just saying name at balls shoes or shoe balls or something like that selling it including balls. Yea also you need a network light. Yeah you need another a fourth be yeah because BB is like better business bureau Yeah his yeah. What if maybe he got rid of the Tattoo because he got BBB on his arm and people like Oh better business bureau and he's like no big baller brand but then he just got so much confusion that his like Afaq? While I'm just GONNA get rid of it you can tell from the exploded shoes that were not part of the big business bureau or better whatever the big business bureau both guys. We don't have a big ball business bureau but to make money we have sponsored here so so so here's a word from our sponsor. Hey Stephan here. Have you ever thought about making podcast. It may seem complicated but anchor makes it easy. LemMe explain it's free. That means you don't have to spend any of your hard-earned Cheddar to get your voice out to the world. It's easy there are creation tools that allow you to record. And Edit your podcast cast from your phone or Computer Ankara. Also distribute your podcast for you so it could be her not spotify apple podcasts. And so much more you can also make money from your podcast with no minimum listenership. It's everything you need to make a podcast in one place. So what are you waiting for. Download the free anchor APP or go to anchor dot. FM to get started and welcome back. We're going to go on to question two anthony. Could you read question two from twitter. Yo Yeah Alike question from Mit Maryam. She asks states rather so Well being naked from the waist down I made eye contact with my boyfriend and lifted my leg to Fart. Instead I pushed a little too hard and just pissed on the floor like a fucking dog while making eye contact with this poor man. What should did she do? After the s well first of all you don't break I contact dominance. It's a maker maker break moment for you right than in there that you're deciding right now who gets to piss on the floor for the rest of your life. I I would say goes up further further and don't break eye contact and say clean it up and then make him clean up your puddle of Piss. And they'll do it again the next day until he buys a litterbox for you to piss is. The risk doesn't quite equal the reward. Honest one in my opinion in this does she want litterbox No no no just the you could knock pissing it and show him that. You cannot be tamed Okay and then just start pissing on his side of the bed editor where why aren't why. Aren't you tamed. Because you're you're wild just piss everywhere you're saying. Yeah Yeah I think maybe go to the doctor. 'cause if you're peeing when you're just trying to let loose a fart. Yes pretty intense like you didn't know you at a p and you just past past. Maybe she has a gambling addiction. Wait what's the correlation. That was quite a gamble to take on. Oh that's true I mean was the Fart even ready was it in the chamber or were you just trying to summon one from your stomach back because it sounds like you are reaching deep for that Fart. Sorry I realize she's not going to respond. But anyway you should make sure the next. It's time you fart locked and loaded. Yeah you probably don't WanNa pick. Well yeah unless you just want to commit to piss on the ground. I wouldn't make it a recurring thing. I don't know she might like standing. That's true you have to get get good uranium. Now get a good a G- a good name is there. Is there a device that a woman can strap onto her vagina. That's like a penis genesis. So she can strap on. That's another story but we're we're about to blow the whole Internet open for a hollow one so that she can p out of it. I'll no joke. There is a product used for. I believe the intent is road trips and at allows a woman to stand and take typists. Oh my God was created by Lonzo Ball. Yeah it they also happen to be a sponsor this now but they watch out because they do explode after after four uses the will. That's where the business started i. I didn't start making shoes. They started making hollow doubt. penises is for women to wear to P. It's balls for your woman. Girl Ball made with anatomically correct balls ones bigger than the other. There's no need for balls. It's just a key comes from your. Aw insist that we keep them balls in the prototype eh three balls they all have tattoos of BBB on them ball ball and balls anyway. Anyway I better if if a girl did this to me. I don't know what I would do. I think I would laugh. No I would be very. I would be very scared because I did. I would think that her intention is just look. Look straight at me and hissing on the floor. I would jump out the window. I would probably run for my life. We like the next thing is like she's she's lost. which is like come stab you? Okay any other little pearls of advice that we could spray on this woman. I don't think she needs any help. Spring I don't know what the fodder are. You come back from that like well. Who's house did it occur in first of all Are you thinking like a like a reciprocating kind of thing. I mean was it on home turf for or did you go to the boyfriend's place and let the rug or was it a party. I contact with my boyfriend from from across the room. What is crowded party at this party? Guys I've I have been to some crazy parties all right. I've seen some shit anyway. There's some totally normal parties. I could end like that. That is true and Dan. I mean family. Reunions get crazy. I'm not even allowed back at chucky cheese. That's probably Lonzo. Ball's favourite place the B because it's got a slide so many balls I was thinking the ballpit but I oh man I just thought of an idea. Uh of what he could sell his he could make ballpit. And it's like it's a regular ballpit but all of the balls are shaped like his head and face. Oh my God not. I hope they don't explode because that would be awful. I think you just nate nate. You just describe something of nightmares. Want to jump in the Lonzo Ball. Ah Oh my God. I'm already thinking of how we could make the plastic molding to make the ball uh-huh ready to mass produce. This need is we need a three D printer. leiw the plastic into perfect three D.. Scan of Lonzo. Ball's head Anthony. You get on Matt last night I got it. What does he look like? Oh my God he looks like a weird version of drake. Yeah like mutton chops. That'll be very distinguishing feature on on this plastic balls Man Should we put wall on the side for the mutton chops. Now I mean you just molded plastic Or scratchy just actually wool ball. Just a hairy balls in a pit. Wouldn't that if you rub up against them when that create a lot of static electricity. Yeah probably kids. Go jumping the Harry. Mary ballpit no okay. Okay okay. Don't get shocked by my own. Fuck electrcity off the walls. I think we've answered that question to the best of our extent. You're done in that town. We probably can't close to record for times balls have been said in in any podcast ever. Yeah Yeah Okay Okay okay. So let's move on to word of the week. This is not really funny but we wanna make you learn something. Thank what are the week. New Word is Baksheesh and in parts of Asia. It's a small sum of money. Given to an given as alms ATIP HIP or a bribe in example is the children's smile back and asked for box sheesh. What are we bribing children to do? I don't know that was Google gave me that example. I did not make that one up. Bakshi also sounds like something extremely sexual so so something you would order on a menu. How yeah that's like I? I could see them in Asia. Let's it's maybe it's like an Asian tobacco he meant hit. This Baksheesh Homegrown Bach sheesh Bakshi sounds like a star wars creature to like. Hey this is Bach. Sheesh he's half walkie half Wamba don't look the buck she should. I Buck sheesh boxes okay. So that's Bakshi everyone. We hope you remember it and use it in your everyday vernacular guys guys hold your tears back. Because it's time for the last question Eric. Go ahead and do the honors of Reading this last question. Police question three from read it. How do I stop smiling around my crush? I can't help it anytime I'm around my crush. I start smiling. I started smiling even before I see his face. All it takes for me is to hear his voice when I see him. My heart stops in my face. It's really hot. All the last thing I want to do is come off creepy. Does anyone know how to stop doing. This sincerely. Green grins situation in Seattle Seattle. So I think you should see a doctor about your face. Getting really hot air heart stops. It sounds sounds like you die. Yeah you don't you shouldn't worry about being creepy. If you're if you're going into cardiac arrest I mean maybe a little bit like. Oh no I hope opening creepy as you you know pound on your chest to get your heart Arrhythmia. Well well is he. is she going to pound herself or someone else GonNa Pounder well. She's probably hoping he'll pound her chest. Okay well I think it's going to be the person closest to her. It's gonNA pound her chest but doesn't it when she sees him so I had assumed close ish. That's true. Do you think. Multiple people should pound her chest. I mean I mean if there's New Orleans someone's probably call nine one one so that the ambulance could go in pounder. Yeah we want professionals pounder. Okay well we're word to the wise as you wanNA keep WanNa keep pounding her until the ambulance arrived in. Don't stop he got. It's important to keep pounding. I think you have to pound her to the song long staying alive. Because that's I think I saw the office what about that long. Thanks whether it's not really like the sern- pound that Stern I don't know any other. BG Sung Okay. So maybe every time you see your your crush think about think about your grandma dying. Yes or the worse or something bad like dead puppies so that we get do something horrible. Think about the things they does. That's horrible. Yeah like think of situation for like like think of think that like he is cheating on you even. Yeah No. You're not in a relationship and just be mad at him or disguise go crazy about that. Yeah they love it. The heart of her concern seems to be smiling but in my opinion the smiling is not which creepy. It's the lack blinking. Yeah that's that where sunglasses then or blink. Oh Yeah I guess you could do that but if you don't I don't want to blink. Just wear sunglasses. Or if you're physically incapable linking yeah. We're physically incapable of blinking where that that red red band that cyclops from X.. Men Wears all the time like like not blinking a superpower power. You have to control Baseball goals that would be fucking embarrassing if you go to. Charles Eggs Xavier's school gifted school for the gifted youngsters he's like. What is your power my child? You're like I just can't blink. And he's like okay. Okay well let me let me get you to the school next door functions and who wanted to learn to do other stuff good to picturing her wearing the goggles feel like presses the button on the side and she did just makes her blink. Like oh off. Fox is just a big shudder. Sound so blink. I think is what we're saying. Yeah wait wait. Oh she says I start smiling Even before I see his face so what are you looking at. Another part of him probably is dirty girl so so he walks so she sees. Yeah okay I mean maybe he does one of those. He's walking away and then he like they like stops in which had around and his locks Kinda like sway as he does it uh or maybe he does a crab walk player heart stops interface. The hottest get me some better. All all you can eat crab red lobster so yet but think bad thoughts acce- ACSI crab walks over or can you stop. What just smile? I just don't smell like a fucking creep. Just like practically much sums up the advice. Don't be be agree practice practice smiling in the mirror like don't show all of your gums like smiling like and I think you'll be if he can count all of your teeth. Dial it back so or lack of you've been or or where what is it like a Bandanna to cover your mouth so he can't see smiling but like just make sure you wear the right colors. Yeah Yeah you don't want to stab you from smiling so kit him to stab you. Where are the opposite colors of his gang so that he stabs? Yeah was that done. Because he's in a gang so our guest you're not you're wearing colors y'all got. I'm pretty tapped out for advice. Where just where of a full ski masks? So he can't even see any of your face or just a bag. The paper bag much less creepy just cut holes in it for air and then I whereas prior putting it on. Oh aware Lonzo. Ball's shoes so they'll explode and your feet will be extreme pain so you can't smile and he'll be looking at your feet instead of your creepy face. Yes maybe you could do like. What is it called money heist on Netflix? Where you could wear a Salvador Dali been seeing that and thinking of how dumb it is that it's called money highs? How many other types of Heis are there? Well there's there's like back maybe like an art heist or actually now that I think about it. There's a lot of other highest as jewelry is all right but still there's three Types of is there's a time heist. I'm Heinz Steal People's time. No it's from a vendor's endgame whalers oops ruined it. You saw him game. Might didn't oh you didn't now I I don't care that's fine. Oh okay I think I think I remember the plot. I think someone told it to me anyway. twenty-six movies moment in the one word time time heist yes to a big old time highest anyway so fuck. I had a thought and I'm highs has gone. Oh yeah no go on a tangent about money heist but it's a Spanish series. So if you see get in in in Spanish this is called custody propel or House of paper which is a much cooler name than money heist. I don't know who was translated paper paper house. I don't know it's kind of a dumb name to was better than fucking money. Heist there. That's that's true at least like some sort of like like figurative nece in it. Yeah it's like okay fucking like breaking bad drug teacher man pick yes exactly that so anyway but also if you listen if you watch it and you hear dubbed English it's fucking awful 'cause they try and say stuff so that it matches how the lips are moving but the intonation is off and everything just sounds really stupid. So you're saying we should watch. The Spanish was meant to be heard. No we need to redouble it for them. Yes that's exactly what I was going to say who've UK over there all right Vertigo. For a second not been started started a musical interlude. Money is okay so any other advice for this person for stop smiling around their crush now just get pounded until the ambulance comes staying alive. The best advice of our entire show get pounded cal. Well well the ambulance is GonNa come but make sure you come to because it has been known for being selfish lovers those ambulances which brings brings us back to the inspirer brought all circle jerk yum. mm-hmm okay now those. I think we're I think we're done a smiley league girl he has. I think we're done with Grin Grin Grin Grin in situation. So let's let's close it up boys. Let's put this one in a syllable bag for so it doesn't go bad and end expire. Yeah has fast anyway. So we're GONNA close it off with some plugs and closing remarks so thank you guys for listening. If you've listened this foreign haven't left a review yet pleased. Do we thrive on reviews. Anthony is actually GonNa die if he doesn't give reviews. Yeah and need a transfusion daily Anthony has a long inlet law Latin long thing or something so give him reviews. Follow us on twitter at Hyperbole pod instagram at hyperbole podcast. If you have a question email us at ask us anything at Hyperbole PODCAST DOT COM or you can ask us a question live on anchor. He download the anchor APP on our podcast page. Click message and you can leave us a recorded message. Anything you WANNA plug Don't like the way lead with that question No no I don't WanNa play anyone or anything. I'm okay Eric. Is there anything you WANNA plug. Do you have any shows coming up or anything. No shows right now but you can catch me live on podcasts. Such as hyperbole. And if you haven't heard that yet just start this file from the beginning. Yeah so moving on to shout outs Eric. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you very much pleasure. Lot of pounding and balls and that type stuff so they Larisa or the question. Thank you choke cleaned. BJ Jj positively Wolf One and thank you shout out to the WGM podcast. Listen to it fans if you haven't already thank you Chad. Selena Selena Tim Greta and everyone else would we love you all and thank you Lonzo Ball. Yes big big balls better business bureau balls big balls Bolland big pollen falls. Thank you everybody and good night. We'll talk to you next week. Bye Bye verbally.