"Cry It Out" (with Priyanka Aribindi)
Hello and welcome to hysteria. I'm Erin Ryan this week semester, Monaco and I chat about the last year and garbage and how to stay happy when things getting worse, then crooked media zone Priyanka Arab. India's in studio, along with Kieron deal and Meghan gaily to talk about crying. And as always the hills will die. Listeners before we get to the show a little bit of housekeeping if you want to submit a hill. Diane recorded thirty second voice memo on your phone, and send it to hysteria crooked dot com. Been also send other correspondents in that direction. But keep in mind that four people besides me check it. Carolina also checks it. So send love notes and hate mail to our personal addresses also merchants in the works, and I'm biased, but it's really great. And also, I see all the gifts, you're treating me people about how merchants taken a long time and I appreciate them and I acknowledge the fact that I'm somewhat owned by them, but it is in the works. It's really cool. I can't wait to see it. Trying new thing where I give shout out to a special group of listeners this week, I want to give shout people listening to hysteria from another country. And on that note, if you're listening to this, I'm currently on vacation, we prerecorded this episode. So if everything went to shit, and we're not talking about it on this odor. It's because I've successfully fled. And I live in Italy. Now, let's get to the show. Hi eliza. ER R G, what's happening? My sister yard G. E G. E G R. Oh my God. I always right. ER g. Wow. There's going to be a callback to this later in the conversation. Absolutely Maistre Monico by Stroh maestro. Maestra monico. It's so good to talk to you. You too. Well, it's summer, which means that, by the time, people are listening to this. I'm going to be on vacation, where we're prerecording a couple of episodes. Yeah. So this is a very special kind of reflective Aaron Elissa chat that we're going to we're gonna use. If you're listening to this. I'm hopefully I'm in Italy. Unless things what terribly wrong. But hopefully I'm in Italy, when you guys listen to this. But one of the things I was thinking about is this is the first we did we did a big kind of spell, I guess, episodes right away that we took a break in January, and we haven't really taken a break sense. And we haven't really had a chance to pause and reflect on the year. So I wanted to kind of talk to you Elissa about, you know, the first episode and what has changed between then. And now do you remember the first episode was their coffee cake involved? Yeah. I made some. Yeah. So I remember Noga. There was coffee cake. But then also is the day that Kennedy resigned. Yes. And then didn't have to chew special episode. We know we had to redo it. We redid it. That's what we did. I totally remember sound like you've got a great recollection. I mean it just it seemed like a moment to me that day even though it was, it was totally annoying on many levels that he resigned that day it was historically annoying, but it was also like logistically annoying for everybody, because we all had to come back into the studio and do it again. But it seems like a fitting place for this podcast to start. Do you think we've been moving in a positive or negative direction since then our podcast or the world both so the podcast definitely I think that our podcast is very special. I mean that sincerely the world, not super positive direction. Now that doesn't mean I think it's going to go off a cliff, but, you know, when you think about the first episode. Owed in talking about Justice Kennedy. That's before we knew the caliber of, you know, Scotus nominees that Trump was gonna put up right? We're going to end up with. And, and so, you know, and then, and then if you think about all last summer, he nominated Cavanaugh, unlike fucking, July or some shit like that. And, you know, we fought so hard and we, you know, he ended up being supreme court Justice and so I feel like it doesn't feel awesome. And what everybody thought was going to happen was like, oh, they're going to attack Roe v. Wade while ES I mean is supreme court has not directly, but the people who hated or stupor ginned up and just doing everything they can, you know, so I feel like you know what? Maybe it's just like it was going really bad for a while. And then maybe in the past couple of weeks. Maybe it feels a little bit better because all the women are running for president and people just seem to be carrying a lot more about women's. Issues, which makes sense since we're like fifty one percent of the population. Yeah. I guess that's a positive. It's definitely we're talking about more women's issues than we did in two thousand seven eight when, you know vomit and Hillary were running. Yeah. I think that that's true, one of the things that upon further reflection on the Obama years when I wasn't involved in politics. I was I was just a snarky blogger toward the end of them. But I, but I was covering politics. I was like, snarky covering politics in kind of like very tentatively, tapping my dome into that world. But one of the things I think that was a downside of the Obama era was that a lot of people who are my age or younger just kind of felt like they could piece out and not really yet not really pay attention. And myself included to, to the extent before I was covering politics before I was like working in media. There was times where I was just like it's fine. Everything's fine and everything's not fine. Things were going to shit for years. Twenty ten was disaster. And we're still dealing with that. And, you know, I think that the good thing about this era. I'm trying to find a silver lining to it. But the good thing about this era, is, is multiple areas. It's there's, there's a lot of good things about it. Among the bad one is that people have woken up and given themselves a crash course in civics. And I think we all know a lot more now. I mean, people who weren't in government before we know a lot more now about how things work and how things can go wrong that we did before, and I think that knowledge of those things arms us hopefully against those things in the future. I also think that to echo like an idea that Rebecca tracer has said a lot is that women have gotten really, really angry and it's been a sort of rising tide of this sort of productive anger. Not like throwing bricks through windows. It's like angry women have channeled it into being productive and twenty eight teen to me. The election. It sort of was as in capsulated of all of these all of these problems and good things that I've seen in the air. Nobody really expected Democrats to pull it out to the extent that they did an in the way that they did. But I think that women who are on the ground, and I think women who are who were running or women who care who are paying attention new that, that, that we had in us to put a lot of women of color, a lot of young women into congress, and to start taking back state houses that we'd lost. So I think like the bad is leading to people being galvanized enough to move towards something good. I just hope that we hope it's enough. We'll hope it's enough and hope that nobody loses their energy, you know, like that it's been since twenty sixteen it's been three years that everyone's been working there s off. And so it's like, you know, maybe everyone's just learn how to pace themselves and realize that it's not a sprint it's a marathon. And you know. Twenty twenty is something for us to look towards. But it's not gonna be the end, you know, even if Trump's not president anymore. It doesn't change what places like Georgia Alabama, and Mississippi and Ojo and Missouri have tried to do at the state level. You in the low end the local level. So that's the thing that, like, even when people are talking about twenty twenty. It's like whoa, whoa, it's not just about who's running for president, like, don't take your eye off the ball like all those people who won in twenty teen have to be reelected. Right. Exactly. And we have to do that, and we have to do it from right of being behind the eight ball. When it comes to a states that have been gerrymandered because until the supreme court does something about it, which they might in the next couple of weeks. Do something about what, what, what constitutes gerrymandering and how legal that is. Yeah. I think that's a really good piece of advice. But at the same time, it's like, don't you feel kind of daunted by, like the idea that yes, we just have to do this forever. How do you how do you stay happy? Like, how do you stay motivated? Let's talk about happy. Okay. So, so I buy for Kate happy from, like fulfilled. You know what I mean? So it's like doing our activism doesn't necessarily make me happy. But I feel like I'm doing something right? Like, I feel like in the of Donald Trump doing something is a component, part of like being happy because if I weren't doing something, then I'd be like, I'm just a fucking rotten piece of shit. You know, right. But for me it's like a lot of things that. You know, like you look now and everything that, that this administration has done like all the protections. They've rolled back not just against people, but about against our public lands and animals and like agreeing to trophy hunting again. And so I do drive a lot of like sort of happiness from China, help the animals that really that like in a big sort of, I'm a good person way. That's something that really gets me going like on a basic like how does Eliza keep herself smiling? I mean marijuana helps. It's getting legal and more and more places. I mean congratulations Illinois first of all, doing, I know. That's you know, that's interesting. The thing that you said about bifurcation, I've kind of done something similar between the concept of fun. In the concept of good. Yes, there are things that are fun and good. There are things that are fun and not good. And there are things that are good, but not fun. And the good in the not fun stuff is the reward of doing I mean, I think I sound like a I don't know like an unfrozen caveman learning about human interaction right now. But I think that there's, there's a lot of stuff that is not fun, but it's good like going out and working out on a day, that you really don't want to is not fun. But it's good eating vegetables, instead of a piece of cake is a lot of not fun. But it's good you know, waking up early and educating yourself on the latest. Fuck ary from the right so that you can adequately respond to it is not fun. But it's good. But that doesn't mean that you should cut fun out of your life. I think my, my great grandfather, who is a lot of fun. And sometimes not a very good person had he had a saying that he would cut us aid was family, which was like you can't beat fun. You definitely have to have some fun in your life. So I think one thing that has made me feel a little bit. More balanced has been paying attention to keeping myself physically active. So getting outside has been really good for me because sometimes it's really easy to get depressed about, you know, this tiny little screen, you can hold in the palm of your hand and it feels like the whole world fits into the screen. And really, if you look up there's like infinitely more space than what is just there? And I also think, like reading stuff that has nothing to do with politics, sometimes or watching things that doesn't have anything to do with politics sometimes as is some. Something that makes me happy like fleabag right now is making me really happy. I've gotta watch it. It's like next in my queue 'cause I just finished. Why finished two weeks ago finished dead to me was same like nothing to do with what's going on in the world? Totally sucked in love doll. I also unrelated Lee find law and order, SVU, very satisfying, because like nine times out of ten there's Justice, and I find that Justice. Makes me happy. Yeah. Like knowing that somewhere on this planet, bad people or getting what's coming to them. Does does, you know, I never used to feel like strong after I washed SVU. But I do now. Yeah. That's true. I guess that's something that writing has brought me especially being able to do screenwriting, even though screenwriting is the worst. Nobody should do it. It's terrible. But it's really fun for me to take like my anger, or my, frustration and fictionalized it and make it funny. Like the show that I'm. We're just wrapping up the writer's room now but the, the always sunny is a really fun place to work because the characters are real in part because a characters are really bad people. And you can kind of do whatever you want to them, because yes in within the world of the show, it makes sense. So writing something where you're just like I'm making a fictional world involving these characters. And this is what they're doing. And this is how the interact, and this is what Justice looks like inside of this tight, twenty two minutes script that I'm working on, or whatever it's like kind of cathartic. It's also, you know, like I said, writing is the worst, and nobody should do it. But it went when it's fun. It's, it's really, really great. And it helps a lot. I think also I've gone back to things that I was like what used to make me really happy like before all of this, and I've basically gone back to, like my seventeen year old cells. And I spend a lot of time up in this place called Columbia County, which is very rural in upstate New York, an eye roll down all the windows in my car. I opened the moon roof. It's like a sort of old Ford, escape and has lot. Of stickers on the back and I just sing so loud and drive back on like country roads. And at the end you're just like what could possibly be wrong with the world, the sun is out? The sky is blue. And I just hang along to an entire set of the Grateful Dead from nineteen. You know that's so funny because I have a similar practice. Except not involving the Grateful Dead nonvoting, ninety two but it's like the stuff I listened to in high school like, yeah, like whole listen to an L God listening to whole or like kind of pop punk that boys told me to listen to. I've been revisiting fhu Gazi and revisiting even like radio pop that at the time I was like this sucks. I'm cool. I really liked same, Gino, who I read discovered, and I was so, so judgy about it back in college. Dave Matthews van. Such a poser. They're just trying to be fish in the dead. Now. I'm Mike driving through the streets. And I'm like, I know. Was that possible? Dave Matthews is a human thumb ring. I mean it's so true. But I was sitting there, and I was like, godless, you're such a like, how do you Matthew? See let's, let's you know, we should do to move toward happinesses. Avoid the negative self talk. I would never call you Elissa only context of good. You're like a good. So I am a good. But like at the time I just really shitty and judgy to anyone. It's like someone said they're going to DMV concert like you're so trite in like a thing that makes me happy when I evolve. And so I consider this great Volusia. Well, let's hope that this country like we as individuals can involve so that we don't have to revolve. Revolution revolve Lucia good. Yes. Very good thing. Go while this is so fun. I wish we could keep talking about being happy and screaming allowed in the car as a way to sort of keep us in fighting shape going into twenty twenty but I guess I'm going to talk to you in like two or three weeks two or three weeks. And please say hi to all my people in the motherland that is actually it's my. Lamb. Okay. Lay the only place where people have pronounced my last name correctly on the first try. Oh really do. I it right. How do you say dramatic? Oh, yeah. That's right. Okay. Who? What else so embarrassing? Dodged a bullet on that one. Okay. I'll say hi to the fatherland for you, Elissa and talk to, you soon phone voyage by. Stick around. They'll be more hysteria after the break. This episode of hysteria is brought to you by sun basket. No matter your lifestyle sun basket caters to your kind of healthy with delicious meal plans like paleo, carb, conscious gluten free Mediterranean, diabetes friendly and vegan, plus quick and easy. Recipes, you can enjoy a dinner full of organic produce and clean ingredients in as little as fifteen minutes. Plus a brand new carb conscious meal plan with thirty five grams or fewer net. Carbs per serving. If you're watching your carbs, finding it difficult to cook, delicious nutrition forward meals. This is the meal plan for you. Full of fiber rich vegetables and quality proteins. These meals are exactly what you need to stay on track. 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I just wanna know I wanna know what the world, gleaners, denim factory, looks like is it Spar? Cling. Is it just gleaming? Is it people dancing around, or they sliding across the floor? I'm so curious with the world's cleanest done factory looks like a deli and made leather shoes, outerwear made from recycled water bottles perfectly fit Oxford shirts, and more. And I've mentioned this in the podcast before, but everyone also sells the platonic ideal of muscle -ties, which I own and I just love it. And right now, you can check out our personalized collection at every lane dot com slash hysteria. Plus, you'll get free shipping on your first order. That's ever lane dot com slash hysteria ever lean dot com slash hysteria. Welcome back to more hysteria. I'm Aaron Ryan. Now comes the point in the show, where we talk for a long time about a thing, we think about a lot personal political. I, I want to introduce the amazing women who are joining me today. First off, we have actor, comedian woman with French writing on the back of her shirt, Meghan. Gaily. It was like I when you said, French, I guess, I'll say show, but then I was like, I don't want to like. What I wanna do. But you did it, you did it. I respect that you brought it. We had a French teacher growing up, who had a southern accent. Why? No, like really. Can you do an impression bones your class? Oh, that's pale. Karen. Next up, we have working actor of a new on a new show that just got picked up, which is so so exciting. Karen deal. Hi, I'm so glad that you're here. I'm here it's been a minute. I know I think there was I think there was a snafu where I didn't get the they didn't actually they didn't send me the dates fire. Yeah. I was like, oh, I guess, that's it. Now one job at a time to do a show Sunday together. Yes. That was that was that was my fault. Okay. That was actually my fault. But I, I let her I let her know them. I always think of you that one time that you said, cure in that you lie in wait, like no Virata. I'm just picturing, you lying in wait and being like I'm not getting any emails. I don't need to go on hysteria. So you just kind of our. Yeah. Just lying. Yeah. That's right. That bill. It's time to go. People have summoned me. Yeah. Well, you've been summoned, and I'm glad that you floated in here if you inches off the ground, it was real creepy this early in the morning, but I accept you as thank you so much. That's why I like this program. And third. A special guest today. Her first time on hysteria crooked media's own Priyanka are a bendy. Hello. Hi. Well having made so good. You're here. I wanted to on hysteria since we started. Well, I love your show and I wanted to be on since he started. So this is really exciting. How have you been house crooked right now? Critics good crooked is busy. Yeah. Yeah. House writing what a day, you know. You know. My editors on vacation right now. So all you. Oh, yeah. Brian has been Instagram, a lot about places that aren't where he's supposed to be. Crazy week but he's back next weekend. Good. That's good. Then you can just totally be dead weight, and let him do all the work. Well, when we were coming up with the topic for today we gave Priyanka as the guests the option. There were two options that we had it narrowed down two and cure, and I'm looking at you, because I'm just I cannot wait for your reaction to this. The, the choices where I wanted to do power do a whole show on power, which I was like that is such a cure and topic power. God. What are you doing? But the other one is something that I wanted to do for a really long time because it's something that every female friend that I have has like an opinion on personal experience with and that's crying. We're just sort of right cry. I like crying so Jane on Indian, I know you're supposed to. Fifteen minutes today, we're fifty fifty shift your body language to me. But I think crying is another way that people express where they stand in a hierarchy power lack thereof frustration. I had a former colleague who used to refer to a specific type of frustrated crying as math tears, which as a woman who was not bad at math. When I was younger, I still get it like it's the frustration of not being able to solve a problem. But anyway, so tears happen for a whole bunch of reasons, especially for women. So I wanted to start by asking this opening question, and I'll throw it to you. I grant cousins, your guest when is the last time you cried and what were the circumstances? Okay. First of all, I'm floored by the term math tears. I've never occurred to me, and I know what it is not about me. I'm just sitting here maze. But actually, this is a great time for this podcast. I feel like a like a season of my life where I'm crying, a decent amount. So I was like, okay. I feel prepared. Yeah. I'm actually. You got like the what's the Lauren from the hills, member, when she cried and just like two little things. Meth wet is in your eyes, but it does. Yeah, yeah. It's like pretty crying. You're pretty crying for you. No. But I was like, oh, one was it's hard to put a finger on it, actually I cried last night, so prepared really well, but. In preparation though. So I wanna be ass back, like I want them to know him a good guess committed. Yes, I cried last night, the circumstances. I was okay. So, I feel like I don't cry because I'm stressed out. I feel like being stressed out makes like a prime condition for you other things to make you cry so super stressed out super anxious. And then the refu- things that happened. And I kind of was like okay like I'm crying, this is happening. And I thought it was going to be one of those things where it's like this is like a five minute thing. And like we're gonna be over it, and it'll be fine. And then ended up being way longer thing. What are we talking here? Twenty minutes an hour nine evening. We're talking we're talking. Evening of two years and evening sporadic, right? Yeah. Right. Like the way ours lost, though. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And your face looks very good for having cried last night. Okay. There's. To tell when you're, you're eyelids are puffy, but I also have a wrinkle that comes out like right under my eyelids after I cry. So I'm like, I you guys probably can't tell, but now everyone's looking. But yes, so I cried recently. So you've been in crying phase. Yes. Do you cure in Meghan? Do you guys have you found that you go through phases where you cry? More cry less. Yeah. No really do not cry cry. But I wouldn't say it's phase oriented, it's just completely whenever I it's a very honest cry. It you're always coming on it from, from the same baseline. I think it's always the same baseline interesting. When was the last time you cried? Yeah, I don't remember but I have a very bad memory. Okay. Or like my own 'human patterns, it's because of all the lying down. I just have a bad memory for. I don't I couldn't like if it was yesterday or if it was this week, I could tell you, but I was trying to think of a time that I cried. I cried in up the beginning of up. Oh, really? Yeah. The one time that everybody every. Came out like nine years. I'm talking about powers are all talking about a time that I felt powerful. Beginning of that would be disturbing. Joe never going on. Terrible. Well, I guess, here let's, let's tie this into the idea of like power micro. What was it? Meghan. I thought it was book smart. But then I realized I cried two days after I saw book smart. I was at a dodgers game on Memorial Day and a World War. Two veteran who's in a wheelchair who is ninety six years old throughout the first pitch. And I just started sobbing text about this. I feel like I saw some tweeted, okay I tweeted about because I just love old people, so so much Memorial Day is kind of like your thing, my thing, you know. It's my pride. Everywhere. And like they're just hats and like I would love to go on an honor flight. Like I just love them. I worked at a retirement community. They're angels. But I was with my mom and dad. And so I was sort of I mean crying at a sporting event is a very, very vulnerable things I was I had glasses on a hat on whatever. But then I looked over at my mom AM, I'd had we're both crying. I was like, all right. We just love World War Two. This is a very like, yes. That's a warm cry. I'm is yours related to. Is it like related to your personal life? Is it related to families? Just general stress related to work things, which is weird to Santa work. Yeah, no, no, no. But, like I would say, I've never been like a big personal life Cryer there. It's just mostly like a stress situational thing. And I was reading some of this stuff that are mazing producer Caroline polled about like situations and power, in crying, things like that. Like I feel like a lot of my crying is not because I want it to be. Sometimes people are like oh like this would feel really good right now. I want a good cry. And I mean sometimes it's like great. I'm gonna watch this movie but most of the time it's like an I feel not so great and I don't necessarily wanna be crying right now. I just in my car and oh shit. I'm really upset and like Ryan Dunn Luciana boulevard. This is embarrassing. Yeah. I would say, like, like if I if I'm in therapy, like I think I started therapy one time, and it was like this, like, actually hilarious. Woman of she was my favorite therapist, but she dumped me she kind of ghosted. She was this woman is an Asian American woman, but it was like the reason I love this therapist is because it would be like you'd say anything you'd be like, yeah. Lie in bed. You know lion. Wait. Like knows project. Wow. That's how yes like USA anything. And it was like a head a really good shit this morning. Wow. Is this what she would always do? But it was like the first session, she wanted, like a like just like a late layout, or breakdown, and it was like after an I, I remember leaving there feeling like really all that felt very because this is a stranger. And you know what I mean it's like after I inner like a I session is a stranger. So it's like I felt very like to vulnerable and I and I remember I felt really really bad for like a while the afterwards, and then I cried, then honestly crying in front of someone you just met is more vulnerable in awkward than having sex with someone that you just met, I think, because it's like, you know, whatever's sex can be like the actress and stuff, but crying is just pure emotional expression, and it's so much more like do you know what I mean? It's so private in a lot of cases at some, that's why it's something we procure saying you do in your car or something, it will in your, there's no windows there. Nobody can look in when you look in drive away. I don't really care. I don't know. You. To face, you tomorrow, or like New York, there's always like people crying on the subway because there's no private places in New York. So you just have wherever you can't you walk, and you cry. So you walk in you eat, you walk in you cry. There's no you gotta do all of it at one. I saw women coming out of a coffee shop went on Wednesday and she clearly just been crying, and I felt myself, like fascinated with her. Like I was like, I wanna know what's going on and like a was staring at her, and it's like that's not what she wants me to be doing. But I felt this need to like know why she was crying. There's when I was, I was walking with my mom when I was home. And there is a boy, why is he getting on his bike right now? I mean I was like, oh, he was crying, and she's like Ono like it was like he was like wiping, his eyes on the lawn. It I will say that when I see someone else cry even if it's a dear friend, always, it's, it's almost. Sometimes you should just let someone cry you know what I mean. But the knee-jerk is like you wanna make it. I don't know if other people you wanna make it better. You wanna make it okay? A friend who went through a very. Sad personal circumstances situation with her with her husband. And, you know, the whole thing was like, just really falling apart. And so, and she was in a hotel room and she was telling me about it, and it was like she's a very, you know, very strong person, but you can be a very strong person and cry. You know, but I could tell how much she didn't want to, and yeah, and it, and it was also like, and then you also feeling like you don't want somebody to like I was surprised at how much my knee-jerk reaction was to be like, don't do it. No, not to know like more like kind of, oh, like trying to make it better trained to a swat it as opposed to just like, let it be sad. Yeah. Something can just thing to sit with when you're like one on one with someone. And you're like, I, of course, I don't want you feel this way, you're like, what, what do I do? But hey over hugged someone or like had someone tell you let it out cry. Like not e. They don't even say cry, but they can see you know, you start to get like the. Yep. Send your voice shakes and I've had many, many instances in my life. And I also feel like I get stereotyped as Cryer like when I start crying in front of somebody, of course, she is. Here. That's actually not who I am. I think I cry probably if I were to take like a Cosmo quiz like an average amount. But I've gone. Eibar yesterday in the role, these Cosmo's everywhere, and woman said that she came from a foot massage, and I was like go to hell. So did you know wanted to fight her? And I didn't even read it. I was just like this is a lie. So I've, I've gone. I remember an instance where I was like living with friends, but I knew the guy much I was living with a married couple. And I knew the husband much better. He wasn't there, and he has no emotional support capabilities. And so I had a terrible phone call and I went inside and I like the wife like walked towards me, and hugged me, and I just saw down her back and then. I hugged her for probably five minutes crying. And then I was like, thank you so much. And we parted ways I mean that was the last. So her, and then I came then, you know, then five minutes later, the guy and his wife came home, and who was that? I thought it was I thought it was her. She kind of looked like her, but it was, I just loved it Meghan. You're like you really people, people assume that I'm a cry, and then you're like parallel to that was I cry average amount. It was a cause MO. So perfect. You're like assume that about me. I know. I know what you mean. I think it's interesting to talk about like the circumstances under which we cry and the ways that they kind of differ, my last couple cries have been kind of run the gamut like I had a World War, Two veteran cry. I was listening to the radio in my car and they interviewed this British guy who had been in the first wave of d day. And listen to him talk about it, and thinking about him as like basically a childlike running onto the beach into gunfire was like emotionally overwhelming for me and thinking about, you know, my grandparents, and my both of my Grandpa's served in the military, one was in one never got sent. He enlisted was in San Diego. And the other one was in the army and just thinking about that made me just like very I don't know. It was like grateful and sad. And like I just wanted to give him a hug. And also, we had like a British accent, which made it somehow. So that was like a warm cry. And then I had like a cold cry like a frustrated cry for, like no reason. I was packing for this wedding that I'm about to go to and has my boyfriend, which dress, I should wear an to pictures. And both of them are floral pattern. You me. Kim dresses. Okay. And he goes, do you have anything that isn't floral, which is fun? I mean, fine, you don't have to like floral, but Amy can I know I know it's a wedding, and we are available to donate those dresses. I was I was I was packing. And I was like stressed out. And I was like worried about sending my cat to boarding of never boarded her. There's all this stuff travel pre travel stress, and that one thing was, like, don't understand. It was so stupid. It was so stupid. It was one of those things well as happening I was like this is I'm engaging in emotional stupidity right now. But I can't stop it. How do I stop this? I don't know. I had a third type of cry. Angry cry. If I'm so pissed, and this is the cry. That's actually I think the worst because you're like this is not Representative emotion. I'm feeling right now. I actually want to scream and punch shoe. But I'm so angry. And frustrated like when I would get in fights with, like my brothers, I would cry and maybe like a little bitch. That's what I think, someone who sees me in a fight crying like you fucking pussy. Yes. Like sorrow like deep sorrow crying like an my and this isn't appropriate place. The other thing is appropriate versus inappropriate places to cry. 'cause we have those, and I know at least I don't know if you feel, but like an Indian culture in my family. I know that it's like people don't generally cry. But then at a funeral it's like Ueli like, like people actually there's, there's they had like a morning thing where everyone comes over and like cries together. And they put like a white sheet down visits seek family. So it's like they put a white sheet down. And then it's like people bring food, but it's like people like talk about the person and they cry together. But I was really surprised that I spoke at that funeral. And it was like right before I went up. I and then when I went up, like I was really, really cry. Like I will I didn't I didn't know if I was going to get through it, and that was a really. Very vulnerable, because it's a room full of people junior people, you know. Yeah, you have to her, and it's like, but I was really surprised by how like. Does something very interesting about the idea of fam-, like like the family or bearing witness. It's almost like somebody bearing witness to emotion in that way. It's kind of like it's like a wedding. I mean, the this, this very private expression of love in a public moment. I feel like it's this like, that's when you have a group of people like witnessing sorrow it's a similar. Yeah. It's like a collective cry. Which is totally different than like the individual like anger cry or frustration cry that you have or like the warm sadness Cryer the up cry, which is the last time. Apparently. No, no. Okay. I thought of a good one. I don't know. I don't know if I have a good one, I this, this will, there's too. So it's like so at my I think sometimes it's funny my when my mom's brother passed away, and he passed away, really young. It was like so he he died and we went to the funeral. And I remember I saw him and I felt a lot of relief and a lot of peace as like oh, he's at peace. Now, remember thinking I was like I was like, oh, it's just like, you know, and and was able to like I was really glad I went, but there is a moment when his mom when they were taking the coffin out when his when his mom who, who, who wouldn't have been able to understand, like ninety percent of the ceremony because she doesn't really speak English. It's like as they're taking the coffin out. She takes her hand and she was like, touches the side of what I mean. Like just touches the side of it, and it was just like such a is such a like that was like a moment when I just remember it like was like a punch in the heart, you know. So that's one. And then the second one, this is a sometimes when somebody does something really moving, like I had a really I was having a tough time it was, like my dad had been sick, and I just got into New York, and somebody was, you know, a partner was supposed to leave me a key or meet me off of the bus for a key. And like left me stranded in New York with all my suitcases for like three hours in this, like diner, and it was like midnight. And I went to the thing I went to an end. The guy was like, oh, is like is everything. Okay. And I just kind of like I kind of like nodded and I didn't mean to start crying. You know what I mean? But it was like I think I started crying, and he was the nicest. He just was like let me get you some tea and like I can keep this place open. He's like you're going to be fined. Sometimes somebody's, like compassion, yet, Tia. And he was like he's like, we don't have to close. How is just like the it was very sweet. Oh, that is really moving. It was very. I mean that was very sweet. And it was coming from a stranger total someone, you know, is, who actually let you down? Yeah. It was a stranger. He was like he was an because I think you see a young girl in New York with all her suitcases in a place. And she's been sitting there for three hours. You don't know the circumstances, you try and fucker usually. Yeah. It was just your mind went there. I was ever had a sue. Case in New York. I was like everything's going to try and fuck me because they think I just got thrown out of my boyfriend's apartment. And they're like, no, she's right? I, I was like the level of compassion that, like, but there's a maybe it's because there is so much like public. So like, because you cry in public. And whatever else there was like the sense of like the cabdriver could see always really upset and was like, are you like the I was surprised at the level of community Fabra? Yeah. In a moment where you feel vulnerable York is like that found it's a lot nicer and warmer, a place I one time I fell down the stairs in the subway station, and I scraped down the front of my shins. I was an address and scraped on the front of my shins and rather was like rather than wait for, like, I eight or whatever I stood up, and I was like, well, yes, I'm going to get on the train and might like blood was running down my legs. And every it was like a was like a short short story that was meant to be heartwarming because like every stop people got off and. People got on every stop. Somebody asked me if I was okay in, like this little this little boy, LA handed me a fistful of McDonald's, napkins and said something to me in Spanish, and it was like everyone was so kind and like looking out for for somebody who I mean I'm bleeding on the train, but it was like everyone was nice. I think that's that's something that you find in, in cities where everybody is experiencing the same reality. I don't think LA is a place where that's happening because we're sort of separated, but it but because I think there's a, an empathy of, like I could have been that I could have been the person who fell on the tray. Yeah. We've all been the person who like, and then it's like what would I want somebody to do for me? I think there's a sense of and everyone's kind of alone travelling on the subway, identify a New York rock bottom when they see that. Girl. Exactly. Well, let's pivot to talking about crying at work, because I think this is a very loaded topic, and I want to start with you. What do you think about crying at work? Have you ever done it? And if you have to what do you, what do you do? Do you just do it in the opener? Do go into the bathroom. I have never cried in the open at work. I don't know if anyone else has here, but I never have I've cried lake after hours like when I'm, but in general, I'm like a solo Cryer like I have not really done the thing where I'm like walking around New York. City crying people have done that before and been like, oh, yes. Like I get a lot of comfort or whatever. I'm kind of not a public crier. So I've cried like after people have left like in an office space near in our old. Where else in the bathroom, that's like not an ideal situation. But like I've never been like at my desk, openly crying crooked. Why are you hurting? You're going to be so nice. On. She's like I've cried here on this table. I've cried in the studio. That's so fun really depressing verse in a ludicrous song. I will cry with you in the back of the Cadillac on the. Of the Georgia Dome. This nobody's fantasy having sex on the fifty yard line of football fields. Fake for yourself. But just on the crying at work thing. What do you think about like have you ever seen? I've seen other people like no one in a direct situation with me, but I've seen like when I was an inter there was an older editor, who was crying. But to I mean someone that she worked with. And you know, I mean I also was maybe like what like nineteen or something at the time and had just really entered workspaces and was like, oh, like is that doesn't seem like something? That's great to be doing. Honestly vine like after it happened. I think like the situation out, whatever and she ended up great. So like maybe it is something that has, like, totally okay. Why don't you think it would be okay? I feel like it something, you're socialized to be like, oh, especially if you are a woman at work like you don't wanna do that. Like you don't wanna be seen that way your co workers, you like don't want to make your boss, feel weird Thurs all of these like. Hard kind of like I don't want to put this on someone else, and I also don't wanna like, feel embarrassed. I feel like that's a big thing with crying. You don't it's like a shameful almost thing, even though it shouldn't necessarily be kind of I'm still very much grappling with that. And I'm like, I don't love crying in front of other people even when people that I'm close with. Yeah. Do you think it's because when I mean on one hand, it's, it's good to demonstrate control of your emotions in a professional environment because if everybody just kind of let everything fly, nobody would get anything done. It would be very entertaining. But nobody get anything done. But I think part of it, sometimes the shame and the judgement around crying comes from the fact that when women externalize their emotions were we feel shame about that. We feel shame around getting angry or displaying anger feel shame around crying, because we make our emotions like someone else has to deal with them and the act of making somebody else deal with. Them almost feels like this kind of internalized thing, we're like, oh, fuck fuck, I made myself somebody else's problem in that's bad, bad. I don't feel guilt like especially if I'm like angry. I don't feel guilty about it. But I think they're repercussion for her for, you know, if you are angry in a certain context or whatever else it's like e even down to like they'll be times in stand up. Like, I remember one time somebody describe me as, like an angry sexy Lewis black mentally as a bad thing. And I was like that sounds so. Marketable. Marketable and then it was like a little bit like it was an executive. And it was like, but seriously should probably smile, a little more should probably make it a little more palatable. And I was like, Bill Burr would never hear that like, and it was just, just being aware that, like, there are reprecussions, especially depending on who the gatekeepers are, who is in charge, or who are the bosses for your behavior is a part of it can also be just like it might not be an internalized shame. It might be an awareness that you're in a society, and that there will be reprecussions and away, you are perceived, because you can't control the way that other people perceive you, I had I was fired for, for the second time from one of my first jobs for this. Just God awful production company, and, and, but it was very sudden, like the, it was very sudden, I had said something I think I hit like kind of set boundaries, which was very, very reasonable with the boss, and it was enough to get fired like the next day because the company was. Really broken? But, but it was like I walked into the office. And I remember I remember he fired me, and I was just I that was a moment when I liked teared up and I could tell he was like, oh, shit like you could see on the bosses face, and, like it was just like I made her upset, or should I have to deal with this. I mean it looked like I mean I could tell he like legitimately felt bad because it like he knew me well enough to know that wasn't something like I would normally do, but that was a moment when I was like so angry. And it was a pretty unjust. It was a pretty unfair circumstance and you wanna be like I'm not crying because I'm sad. I can't work here anymore. I'm crying because I'm pissed off that you did this. Yeah. I was I was like this is this is a what the fuck cry. You know, I also think crying at work like it depends. I think people's like guilt over it depends on the situation like if you get a phone call. And they're like, hey, so, and so passed nannying once I mean, and that was my work and I got a call my. Grandma died. And so I like called the dad actually the dad was home. So let me leave. So I went in there and I was like my grandmother passed away, and I was crying. And so it's a police. But if you're crying at work about work, that's when sort of like the tens of like listen appropriate coming, and if you're crying about totally things outside of work, and I think it's the stigma is around crying about work at work. Yeah, although I do have a sort of exception that proves the rule story about that when I was working in finance in a hated it, and I wanted to die, I was sort of starting to get my toe into writing. But I didn't know how I was going to do it. I was like, I don't know. It was two thousand eleven so eight wellness. Yeah. Eight years ago, almost eight years ago. And so, at this place where I was working I had a Midi review and my boss was like a really nice guy everyone. I worked with was very nice. I the work was just wrong for me. And my media review. I'd burst into tears, and it was not strategic. It just was completely like unhappy, I was just unhappy. I was, and I was being asked if I was happy and the answer was no opposite. I'm very unhappy. And then a few months later, I got a job offer from this website that I've actually ended up working for on the day that I quit. I asked for them to lay me off instead of quitting because I'd been there for years. And, you know, and they agreed partly because I was so visibly unhappy during the mid year review. I still did my work. I still performed just fine, but they were like, yeah, you're very illiquid like for you to be happier. We will. Here's, here's a severance you can go go go be a writer and so that ended up being a good work cry. But I have never ever heard of a work cry. Helping a person get what they want aside from that. I cried in a job interview. Really, what was it for honest way you sick? Obviously. It was to work with it was like to be an actor, basically, at the Indianapolis children's museum. And so they asked me what I was like most proud of in my life. And at the time, I was helping take care of my grandmother, who had Alzheimers. So he started talking about that. And then they were like like asked him question. It was just so personal and an intense for me in that moment that I started crying. And then, of course, I did not get the job because they were like this woman can't be around children. Sighing in the children's museum about nothing kids, do get worried when they see adults cry. It's deeply on mooring, but there's sympathy like come and hug you, I think, you know, they're like, do you have a boo boo? I've been on that before like, are you. Okay. Like I think kids have a sort of, like empathy and are actually warmer to someone crying then adults are feel uncomfortable by it, and less like, oh, I have to make. It's my dry. They tell you what. Shit my pants. We're the same way to do. Also shit, your pants in the children's, but I've shit might be for, and I did not cry. Wow. Congratulations. Here's one aspect of crying that I think is part of the reason that there's a stigma around it is because a lot of people view it as manipulative, like have you guys watched the new season fleabag or the last season of fleabag the first season fleabag, I've been busy? I watched the second season. I've seen the means of the second season was excellent the the first season I did watch. But it's been a while. Don't remember what you're talking about. Well, there's a scene toward the end of the first season where she's talking to the woman that her father has sleeping with her godmother. So her mother died, and her father took up with their godmother, and like she'd just kind of doesn't like the whole arrangement and the godmother is played by Livia Coleman, and she's whole areas, and also sort of, like this, this kind of dippy artist self involved bitch. But so funny, because Olympia Coleman's a treasure, but Olivia Colman in the scene says she starts crying. She like fleabag does. Something and her face kinda breaks into this, like, cry in front of the dad, and fleabag says. Oh fuck. Aw. When she starts crying. Like, do you think that people use crying to manipulate people? Have you ever seen that happen? Yes. More skilled people than I, I certainly like, feel like I can't. But I mean, have you ever felt manipulated by cry? No. Really have such nice people around you. I feel like I've been manipulated by cry and manipulated through cries give some examples because I'm sure. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Crying in front of a Cup sometimes works. If you're white lady in the cop is a white man. Listen. I shot my shot and I scored. Daily's donate the player fault me for trying. But I've also cried in front of a cop. And he's like bitches is happening. You know. So, yeah, it and you wipe your eyes like gives me my fucking tickets. But I be of put your son. I lost his on and you speed away been like accused of amid nippy late of cry before interesting. I find myself sometimes feeling shame when I cry because I don't want people I want people to understand that. I can't help it like I'm not doing it on purpose. But it's like I have seen a manipulative cry. Yes, I have. I'm sorry. That's why I was asking for for a moment. A moment to think about it. When I was doing Iowa there was like. Like. A group of people it was it was during the Iowa and I was like this fucking white lady, shut up on just joking. It wasn't there. But it was like it was a week. It was like ten days or something. And there was a girl who had a weekly you weren't on. I Oscar for ten days. No, it was like you do it three times. But it was like so it's a group of strangers and then it's like there's a girl who pretended to be someone else to get a second dose of this stuff was, like actually pretty fucked up and then got discovered doing it, and then, like, and then there was like this, like very warm because they're all fucking hippies like this kind of warm confrontation, but then she started sobbing, and it was a very manipulative. You know, I mean it was like one of the most I got caught cries Aiko things I've ever seen. And then it was like, and then because of the way that she was in that moment. It was like then she got asked not to be in the group. And then she was like screaming and crying later, throwing like a massive. Tantrum in this way. That was really. Yeah. It was really an moored. It was very unnerve ING on the show. Fascinate. Yes, she was around the power show. You've seen people like in movies depicting like orphans, and they like, put a hat on, to then, get a second, serving of porridge. But like to get a second, serving hiawatha is so crazy. And then there's a point when like she stopped crying. And she was like she was, like, I did what I made it to, to win. Like god. Damn this just got on sell dark, this Dr Kareem Lee until children do this. I have a couple of nephews were toddlers, and one of them is about to turn four and one's about to turn three and they're both just pure joy. But I've seen one of the one that is my sister's son. My little sister, when she was a baby was a manipulative little Cryer like she would shoot fall and then she'd be fine in the my momma, walk into the room, and she'd be like, like she's just start crying. And her son is just like her. He makes faces that look like her and it's like Mary, you have the child's that you have urged. You don't remember how you were. But he's he's like a doll. He's amazing. But he does do the thing that Mary used to do which is like, cry like pretend to be like be okay until an adult appears and then cry to get the adult to pick them up. I did that in the work in the work scenario. I was thinking there's been times. I've been like the boss or the. Rector and like, and I remember we didn't episode on, like emotional, how women have to deal with emotional labor of other people, and there's been like moments of people being like so incredibly, like they're like offloading onto me. And it's like I just I just need you to fuck in like edit this thing, man. Do you know what I mean? Like it's like I just I kinda like that sounds like a lot is happening for you, and also like you're on the clock and this is four money. So can you like not do this right now because we have limited time together in this space. So it's like I can you know what I'm saying? It's like I like I understand the idea that people should be comfortable with their emotions, etc. But on the flip side of it. You know, I, I remember I've been there's been a couple of times, I've been frustrated or had to deal with it. When I didn't feel like it was fair, fair or my responsibility to kind of I don't like if that was dude. I don't know if he would have been expected to like. To like engage in like a therapy session, if that, you know, engage in like a mini. Right. You know, forty five a hot forty five. What's going on in your life, kind of thing? Yeah. Well guys, I think we'd just about solved crying thing. We figured it out, because we're this is we're running out of time we over. Yeah, I have to it's over, like a good cry. It's not an evening worth of crying. It's about a good forty minutes. But before we end this part of the show, I wanted to ask the table, what something that you go to? When you need a good cry or something that will, you know, is going to make you cry in a like nice way mega do. Simon and Garfunkel bridge over troubled water. Oh, every time I hear it. I feel cleansed an emotional, and I love it, and I fear it for the powerhouse over me, it is a beautiful song. I think the thing that I the thing that oughta medically makes me cry is going to selling good dude, like the last third of field of dreams, a baseball movie about ghosts the comeback alive in Iowa and Kevin Costner's a hot dad movie. It's a whole thing and really otas in it as shoeless Joe Jackson. It's, it's great. It's about can you go back and fix things or what is moving forward. What is whatever? It's so good. It's also baseball in Iowa. I love it. Cure Priyanka I because I'm still okay. I feel like songs landslide time after time which landslide cenex. Okay, mom likes time if your time. Yeah, that will make you cry like a little baby, if you want. But yeah. Those are positive. I feel like you can spin it. You could spit into a positive garage. You could spin it into a negative. You can make it whatever you wanna be. It's like pretty multipurpose but yeah, that'll that'll get it going. All right. Cured europe. When do I if I need a cry? Yeah. What something that reliably makes you cry or get emotional? I got nothing guys getting. Fuck you. I'm helping you. Yeah, I. Yeah, I think Pixar actually Pixar is very good Pixar, general CoCo. They're very like, they're they, I think they're, they're very good at pushing emotional buttons in a way that plot is really like that, grandma at the end like her little singing. Sorry. That's a spoiler. You know what I mean? But it was a little like, sometimes I like I write Pixar I feel a little bit like deputies. I would say Pixar movies can really get manipulated by that. Yeah. I'm emotionally manipulated by the one thing we didn't talk about that. I'm curious if you do have an opinion on an it's not a good thing to bring up right at the end. So I apologize was the idea of white women's tears, like a ton of articles about this, you know, and, or like the idea of, like if somebody is very sad making. Somebody's very sad in like an office space, you know, or somebody expresses form of injustice, and then somebody else starts crying, because it just seems so unfair. But then it's like the way it takes away, somebody else's kind of like, or that makes it about comforting somebody else's opposed to like having the experience. You're having. Yeah. I, I think that's a really important point. And it's something that you notice when there's any a symmetry like the person with more power making the interaction about them instead of about the person that was harmed. So sometimes it's like a man being upset that a woman did something a lot of times. It's a white woman being upset that somebody pointed out that she's being fucked up, or she did something wrong, or getting caught trying to sneak Iowa ska. I think a lot of times, those that the like white woman, tears in and again, iron-fisted air quotes, which is right? I mean I it doesn't mean just like every time a white woman cries, it's a specific type of manipulative crying. That, that is about being caught or called out. I think I think we're even just or maybe even very defensive. Yeah. Like it's like if yeah. The person I think that you said it. Well, it's like if the person who is harmed then has to spend the time comforting, the person who has more power than them, who did the harming right in a circumstance. I mean I have to say that it is uncomfortable. If you're a person who has more power being confronted about the fact that you're acting in a way that is fucked up in harmful, especially if you don't think of yourself that way, and I'm not defending women who react. But I understand the psychology of somebody being like what the uh this is like fucking with my idea of who I am as a person. Right. But done it. He related exactly. But I also think that like facing the discomfort without realizing that it's like growth isn't shameful? Growth is painful, but it's not shameful and to. Got a merch I'd grown in name, but not shameful Aaron Oprah Ronnie. But I think back on, you know, things that I've been wrong about, or dumb, about or not known about and accidentally not on purpose ignorantly done to alienate people or make them feel as though I wasn't thinking about them, or especially like, when I was early in my writing career there things where I was just like, oh my God, I didn't I didn't know but I should have done a better job. You know, and I've always been uncomfortable. And, and that wasn't intention. I'm whatever it was wasn't intentionally manipulative, but still the person that the people that were hurt. Our people have been dealing with this shit constantly, and so they have like this much patience left for it. So even though I didn't do all of the things that made them lose their patients. They still justifiably don't have any more patients for it. And so when I get snapped at it is not my job to respond by crying like, it's, it's something that I've had to work on. I don't think. Was ever like crying when somebody was like, hey, you shouldn't say this about this, blah, blah, blah, I don't think ever cried in response to that, but I'm expanding tears to me, like defensiveness in, like, weaponized sadness. And that's something that, that I think, is an it's like a muscle memory thing for a lot of white women at something that I think we should you have to work to overcome. Does that make sense, yet it would help if I had, like can you be a little more specific, I'm only asking, because it's like because when you talk about stuff general, you know what I mean? Like when you have okay here's an example, I use this example, a lot because it was like borderline traumatic. But I wrote this piece for judge Zabala like six years ago that ended up being shit storm. And it was about how I didn't think sell fees, I thought Selvi is where like aggressively not empowering and just kind of an expression of vanity and I sort of hated how they're getting tangled up in feminist pow like empowerment, like empowerment trademark and I just wrote very generally about how putting. A picture of yourself online is like an exercise in vanity and ninety nine percent of the time. It sort of is, but there's a one percent of the time when it, it's really not. And that's when their groups that are, like, look at me, you have to look at me, like people, disabled, people who are trans like posting pictures of yourself online, as you are living life as a trans woman, or trans man, is like, really important to validating your identity in the way that you're living. And that wasn't that was just an like something that I didn't even think about I didn't think about it. And that was an example of when people were confronting me about that. I was like, yeah. Fuck you, because I was like, I felt bombarded, but after you sort of the hurt and the sting of the shit storm passed I thought about it, and it was like, yeah. You know what this is this is a learning moment for me? Like actually, there are people. There are groups of marginalized, people who really value, having their beauty validated, and it's kind of revolutionary for those groups. So that's, that's a. Example. Does that make sense? Yeah. Nice example. Thank really good one. Yeah. Thank you. Anyway, thanks. Yeah. Like, oh, God McCarron with the examples now. No, I'm glad you brought it up. It's like it's, it's really important. I mean tears are good in tears are bad like all things. And I think that, you know, it's fun to weaponize them to get out of tickets. But then we needed to you to bring it up. Yeah. Like, that's a that's a, that's a learning thing, too of like, oh, we weren't even able to be like, let's talk some shit on ourselves. You had to point that out to us, and I sat here quietly nodding. Making you're always on the shows where it's like, okay, white ladies. Gotta grow, y'all grow growth is was it's not shameful. But it's, it's an it's painful, but it's not shameful anyway. Thank you guys. We're gonna take a break when we come back the hills will die. Hysteria is brought to you by better help. Is there something that interferes with your happiness or is preventing you from achieving your goals? I mean, something non-political something, something that is, like, surmountable within the context of your small daily life better help online counseling. Is there for you? Connect with your professional counselor in a safe and private online environment. It's very convenient. You can now get help on your own time at your own pace. You can schedule secure video phone sessions. Plus chat anteks with your therapist license professional counselors, who are specialized in depression, stressing Zayed relationships anger family, conflicts, LGBT matters, grief, sleeping trauma, and self esteem, anything you share is confidential. If you are not happy with your counselor for any reason you can request a new one at anytime at no additional charge. There are four communication modes text chat phone and video. Best of all, it's truly an affordable option, hysteria listeners. Get ten percent off your first month with discount code hysteria pod. So why not get started today? Go to better help dot com slash hysteria pod. Sibley fill out a questionnaire to help them assess your needs and get matched with the counselor. You'll love that's better help dot com slash hysteria pod. Area is brought to you by the drop. Wanna get paid to shop. Yes, please. I mean, I would also like to get paid to breathe, or, you know, just it's the thing do anyway. So I might as well. Get paid to do it. If someone is offering. Let me tell you about drop the free app that gives out cash awards for the shopping, you do every day. All you have to do is link your debit and credit cards to the app when you sign up select the stores you shop at most and you'll earn points. Each time you spend there before you know it, you can redeem your points for gift cards to places like Amazon, Sephora, Lululemon, and countless more drop is incredibly easy to use and designed for people who want their money to go as far as possible. The more you spend, the more drought gets to know you shop at brands you love and discover ones you're about to. It's a totally personalized shopping experience designed to get you rewarded as quickly as possible. Unlike most reward programs, you're able to earn redeem across a ton of next level brands whenever you want. We're talking, no lengthy phone calls or receipt scanning to redeem your points. Honestly, if you have to do those things, it's like you are giving the company, your labor for free, and you shouldn't have to do that. Everything is done through the app automatically you'll accumulate points, very quickly because the brands you're owning points from are the ones who literally spend with every day, the other day, there's, there's this type of foundation that I get from Sephora that is like a makeup stick that has to ends to it. And I love it, and it's my very favorite like little foundation, stick that I've ever used and it's not available in the stores. But you can buy it online. So. And sometimes it goes out of stock, and I noticed the other day that it was online. So I got three of them and I put two in my fridge normal thing to do, just because I was like, what if it, what if it goes out of stock, again and I felt really stupid. Spending that much money, just all at once, because I was afraid that it would go out of stock, but because I'm running points on it. I felt slightly less bad. So use drop feel slightly less band. This, this is why I don't work in advertising. I'm not good at reading be I could talk about stuff that I like and why, but not writing copy for a limited time if you had to the app store or Google play and sign up for drop using the code hysteria. You'll receive a five dollar gift card right away. Make sure Lincoln debit or credit card to the app when you sign up to redeem reward. And welcome back to more hysteria. We've gotten to the part of the show where we take ardent stances on things that don't really matter. The hills will die on, let's get started with our listener hill, high hysteria. My name is Emma in the hill. All Diane is not all people who are sucks, to bed are serial killers. Are just cold and saying that wearing socks bed. Sociopathic is discriminatory. Look, I have bad circulation in the winter. I need that. Extra layer of warm on my extremities. I promise you, I'm not a serial killer. I'm just cold. Oh, I think I respect that a group in cold house. I wear socks to bed used to have to smear my feet with vacillation at night, because it was so cold and dry. We hit her house with the woodstove. So I am sock wear as well. I don't think are serial killers I feel so bad that she even hunt to clear it up for us. Stereotype, where people like socks equal murder, I do feel bad, but she also said it like four times. I was a little more of a Dexter. Again, the delivery, had, we had me questioning it, but it might have been the tough. Okay, I'll go next because mine's really stupid. Here's the hill die on this week. It's more of a question that is like I don't know how to eat broccoli. Who long? It's tough do I cut it because you can't just like it's hard to stab. And just like put in your mouth holds like you have to open your mouth really wide and parts of it stick out, so you have to cut it in order to fit it, but it's a really awkward to cut it where you cut it because there's so many different parts of it. Yeah. And it just looks really weird. But they constantly offer just offer just regular. Broccoli is fine guys. I don't care if it's a little bit more of a, you know, bold flavor if you make it broccoli instead of broccoli, I just would prefer to not have to like grab the end of the stock. And like bite it off in front of somebody and then put the piece back down on my plate, hate when that happens when things become popular foodwise and they're just very patently hard to eat. Right. You're like I got I gotta deal with this, and the next two years, right thing, I almost think there's something that you order, if you're an actress, and you just don't plan to eat it, but it will look pretty sitting out in front of you. I, I made Brooke Leany last night. I like it better than broccoli. It is tasty. It's really tasty. It's just unwieldy to thing. I don't wanna eat in front of. People. Exactly. Got it. It's like it's a private. Yeah. It's a private like. Going to be in a bathroom sell trying, and eating broccoli and everything else that I'm like. Multitasking. It's really important who wants to go next. Karen, you want to go next. I don't like when video signs their emails, love fuck you love video. They charged me like eighty five dollars for the year and they're like, love video fuck in wrote to them. I grow to vinho very, very white woman thing. I got so angry. I mean but this, you know this about man get sewing, corporations, make me angry. Just in general. I said, stop sending me messages with love in them. It's weird and creepy, your business at once my money, which is why you lead with a veiled threat about why should continue paying you money video vote back. Thanks for taking the time to rain today. I'm sorry of the context of that automated Email caused some stress on your end. I'll be sure to leave a detailed note for product team, letting them know we appreciate you sending along your feedback. Is this even a person answering no person said somebody who uses their name, it doesn't have a wire on the end. It has an I and I'm like, oh, God, there's anything you'd like to add, please, let me know. And it's like, yeah, stop fucking signing your emails love. Not a person. You're not a person. You're what you're, you're a video upload service of video get out of my life. Get him. You know, under this cream court is only a matter of time before corporations can legally love, right? Exactly where we're getting close. Right. I appreciate that. That I don't I hate it when they're like, two cute. What? What? No, no. Yeah. You know, if when somebody loves me, they pay for the applaud service, they do or they give me their password, and they give me discounts in love. All right. Brianca. Do you have a hill? Yeah. My hills in his hot of a take feel unfortunate about it. Okay. My hill, I think, is that Sunday night is the best time or I date. Oh, think like it's like you normally until I had a Sunday. I date. I everyone is shaking her head behind. Okay. We charm and they were all like, nah. It's fine. I think it's great because you can start kinda early you can have a drink. Maybe two, if you want, you have a heart out that Sunday, it's like a good time, and otherwise, you're sitting there, your house, in your leg Moshe it, it's Sunday. Even if you like love your life have like great things going on, like no one's excited about like a day, that is devoted to like your laundry and getting ready for the week is kind of shitty and you spend that time like sitting around maybe watching TV, like, just kind of waiting for the day to be over and not really wanting it to be done. The gives you something to look forward to, to do. And also, if it's going badly, you're like great. It's sunday. Whatever I never under see again, and I can get out of here, like superfast come up with an excuse, just easy to that is when the date is going to well, I with Josh was on a Sunday night. And I think we both strategically planned it, because we were both like okay this is like a heart out. We ended up staying out until the bar close. And then I went home with him and we continued to, like, drink and ended up like slept over. And then I had to go all shit go all the way to work in Santa Monica the next day. Like can you be more specific? We held hands that a sexy Sunday. We well, it was not the Lord's day, that's for sure. But we yeah. Like I went home with him in the next day, I had to go to work, very hung over. And he was like at the time like freelancing and screenwriting. And so he was like by, like he just had this whole day to recover and yeah, it was it was a good date, obviously, because we're still together. But it was like, also it was win Sunday dates too. Well. But it was a. You're, you're okay. Larry, very rare situation. I feel like most states aren't like your greatest state ever. I don't know. I just love her okay was like a red shut up. You really have to she's like too nice to say it. But it was just like, right. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Good point. What a bird. I'm just saying. You know, be careful what you wish for. Okay. Meghan. You wanna bring us home? I've blacked out on a Sunday for state and. Already with you. I actually cried and Mel asleep at the bar for out of the bar, and not that man dated for like six months. So it was the day my grandmother died, and my parents forced me to go on the date still. So there's a lot it so much. We'll do a whole episode on. This man also wants wouldn't let me give him a blow job because he said it was too drunk to consent. Okay. So my hip. Keep going. Hell deeper. I really I don't know if this is a Los Angeles thing I feel like the middle of the country, probably has this down better large restaurants with one bathroom. It's like restaurant the other day, we've got a patio. We've got an indoor we've got a back patio and no the one and it's like that's not enough. There are drinks stations there was a bar. There's lemonade people are hydrated, and they need to go pee, and you need to have more bathrooms. I understand if you want to have unisex, ones that many, many people can go to, but you need to have like four of those, I think at bare minimum because then you just have a line of people waiting in the restaurant to go into the bathroom, and it says it's inappropriate and it's bad high clean. Then if there's only one or two, that's disaster. I know this it's full and these are nice restaurants. Yeah. I think I know the resident Highland Park, no. Is it in at water? No. Move there. Oh, I was civic one that's kind of over by where you live. And I was like, yes, I know the one but no you're right now. I know what you're talking about. No, it's in Los feeless. Oh man. What is scourge? Okay. Well, I'm glad that we all doctors aren't supposed to be. Oh, yeah. The deal is version of you can if you drink strategically, you can just reabsorb it your body becomes a closed system, and you never have to be, you're like a bear hibernating go into toasts. I loved to peak. What's it called ketosis? I don't know if that should have. Quit fun, new word. Okay. Well, that's all the time we have cured in Meghan. Thank you so much for stopping by Priyanka. Please come by again. Got it in scare you off crying. I'm glad none of us cried this time I consider this episode of success. Also, thank you to Eliza. Mestre Monico for calling in, and there will be more hysteria next week. Gun. Down.