1092 Christy Conner: Becoming A Confident Connector
Members excited to have her chat here on the show. Welcome Christie to the Nice guys on business podcast. Thank you so much for having me I'm so excited to be here. I love having you here and I gotta ask this be right out of the gate. It's called the Nice guys on business. Didn't they tell you? It wasn't any women allowed on the. Safe. I work in an industry I work in tech. So I'm used to being the only woman in the room, most of the time most of my career. So got it. Let me in the door. No, you know. It's so funny. I wrote a book called Nice. Guys? Finish. First, and I had gotten so much shit along the way from people saying, Hey, why is it that your book is called Nice People I and I'm like because that wasn't the expression. Nice. People Finish last. It was nice guys finish last and I just. Just did a flip of that. So I, appreciate you showing up in spite of the fact that it's I'm using generically the term guys. Thank you. Thank you for being here. Thanks for having me. So I have a couple of questions because I got. You know part of the thing that's that's within me I just, and I'm going to say this that I'm not. Not Saying this in an offensive way to you. I'm hoping not at all because the first thing I really loved to do is insult I guess when I go on the show, it's like I want to say this but I want to say it with with. So there's some clarity I really hate networking, but I need networking in my life because networking is the The thing that builds relationships that gets me to the next step. So if there's somebody that's in my community that says Owen, I. So relate to what you're saying Doug I hate networking and you're somebody that really you embrace networking and U. N. brace the connection. So talk to me about that as a start, a starting place for Well. First off now, you're not alone at all. Even for myself. I'm a shy introverted. So starting out in the beginning, it was very, very difficult for me to put myself out there. and. So as you go into this process I know you're not alone give yourself stays to learn. And grow in the process and then as well. Try and make it as easy as possible for yourself. Maybe when you first go to a networking event, make a goal. Need a few people. And build on each experience that you have to become a little bit better at it. So those that are in our community, they may be thinking well. That's easy for now. I. Don't have to do any networking because I can't I can't get anywhere and I would tell you that it's dead. Wrong. I mean there's actually probably more meetings. Now, than ever before a my zoom schedule, my zoom dance card is filled to the hilt. So do the same lessons that I should know about how to network and rules that I should know about how to network properly in person? Do they work in a virtual world? A. Do. You mentioned it looks a little different right now, we might have a new technology that we need to learn zoom or we might have to get a new microphone a new headset. So the venue is different. Many of the meet UPS and events have gone virtual. So the opportunity is there and it's broader. Right. My meet up now were able to access kind of everybody across the world. So bringing in. In diversity, I think is very interesting for you when you're going to these virtual events to be able to network there. But the premise of networking remains the same we wanna listen then well to people, we want to figure out what we can give to them. We're here to serve our network, not our network serving us and and do what we need to do with the spirit of generosity towards others. Yeah I I, love that idea of you mentioned something in there, what an a lot of people have trouble doing, which is actually going to a networking meeting and listening why is that such a big people like the Phil, I guess maybe I do this to as a podcast host I, like the feel the silence with my voice. Because because I don't want there to be uncomfortable silence in there is that. Is that something that you find that most people that are most just want to shut up and not be there? I think there's both. Listening is important. It's the center of everything. We do have like a listening listen to connect model in my book, right? It's at the core we Listen a little bit differently right now to people because we don't have the environmental clues or the. Physical clues? So the listening is a little bit different. And some people do like to talk. But that can be great if you're a shy introvert like me so. Some of the ways that I deal with being a shy introvert is getting the other person talking. A conversation is always two ways. So you have to be cautious about that, and then for myself I wouldn't know what to say in the beginning. I would walk into a room. All the blood would like rush out of my head and my body, and I would be so fearful of saying the wrong thing that I had to come up with a can set of questions and answers that when I went into an event, I would be able to a ask a question and be have a response for that. So somebody else asked me. But I could have prepared so that I could get myself a minute to get myself together before I had to think of the next thing to say. So having that practice helped me as a shy introvert. So why do you think it is that so many people are just uncomfortable with, and again, I probably put myself in this category not because I'm a shy. But just because I'm like, Oh, God starting over with everybody got that sucks. It's like that's that's the thing. Thing that goes in my head, and then it's like, Hey, I realized that you know it's really the relationships that you build these networking events and I want to talk about this in a second. The fact that you want to build maybe two or three relationships as opposed to one hundred and fifty with all hundred and fifty people that are there. But why is it that people shy away? Do you think they shy away from the whole networking thing to begin with? I think there are a few reasons I think networking has been sold kind of as a sales tool.