If I Could Bottle Up One Gift For You: On Self-Compassion by Krista O'Reilly-Davi-Digui
If i could bottle up one gift for you on self compassion by krista o'reilly davey of life in progress dot ca the best way to ditch self-doubt and walk in confidence. Is the practice self compassion. Self compassion is fundamental to living with purpose health and joy and for sustainable in meaningful growth. Self compassion is also a key tool and learning to quiet. The noise of comparison perfectionism in fear. Let me tell you how. According to kristin neff associate professor in the university of texas at austin department of educational psychology and creator of the self compassion scales widely used in research. Self compassion involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding when facing suffering self kindness seeing ones failures as part of the human condition than feeling isolated common humanity and having a balanced awareness of painful thoughts and emotions. Mindfulness sounds amazing. Right self compassionate self esteem are not the same thing when compared in research self compassion predicted more stable feelings of self worth then self esteem and was less attached to specific outcomes. This is what i mean. When i say i hold things loosely or say open up to joyful possibility self compassion was also linked to less social comparison public self consciousness. Self rumination in anger talk about freedom. We can absolutely be compassionate toward others even when lacking in self compassion. The research bears this out. However i am convinced that to show up fully to life including choosing to receive the fullness of gifts and beauty that life has to offer including the opportunities to stretch and grow and thrive even in the midst of challenges. Self compassion is a must self compassion leads to less self judgment in lower depressive symptoms increases resilience and a sense of capacity and because as a direct and immediate positive on our psycho physiological experience of stress alpha emily's activity heart rate variability and interleukin six response and also leads to improve health behaviors and overall physical health reduction in perceived stress means that people respond to their personal failures struggles in difficult circumstances with kind forgiving attitude. I suspect is also tied to a more hopeful attitude because self compassion also makes way for a growth mindset carol dewick as college professor at stanford university teaches about growth mindset which is tied to neuro plasticity in the understanding that abilities and intelligence can be developed having a growth mindset boost resilience positive emotions and a person's capacity bounce back quickly from struggle failure or loss self compassion and a growth mindset are required for us to become the fullest healthiest versions of ourselves self-improvement. I prefer becoming requires a realistic assessment of who and how we are of both our strengths and limitations. We must get honest about who we are where we are are stories and struggles and our gifting to i. We need to see until the truth about who we are. Then we can take positive action to move closer to who and how we choose to be yet another benefit of practicing self compassion and of a growth mindset is that it helps us live with courage. We become less afraid of failure. We know that failure is normal. Were able to work toward meaningful goals without attaching our worthiness to the outcome. We are less worried about judgment from self or others and his opens the way for us to try experiment. Risk be honest. Do hard things. And so on bernard brown professor at the university of houston and researcher. On the topics of courage vulnerability shame speak to the ordinary courage. A speaking from our hearts and living wholeheartedly. She teaches at courage as a requirement for a living. Our best lives because to do so requires greed wilner ability and even risk. We will get hurt. We will face rejection or challenges and without self compassion. We are unlikely to choose this path. Self compassion also allows us to see differently. It helps us see ourselves as messy and complex rather than broken or in progress as opposed to bad or a failure. It makes room for joyful possibility and all or something instead of an all or nothing perspective. Self compassion is essential for learning to embrace our imperfection or common humanity. Even having a sense of humor about it for making peace with a messiness of life and picking up joy anyway why does walking and self compassion matter to you number. One research demonstrated slightly lower self compassionate and women compared to men but women reported higher compassion for others compared to men rate your level of self compassion from one to ten and take note of your response check in periodically in note any shifts number. Two what are your immediate feelings and thoughts that surface when reading about this topic notice any sensations in your body right down the thoughts. You're having notice if you're feeling resistance or openness to the idea of offering yourself the gift of self compassion number three pull out a notebook and pen or head out for me entering walk as he spend time reflection. Consider examples from your life where you are not being kind to yourself for kind as he like. Think about how life would feel differently if you committed to living with self compassion number four. Why you think learning and practicing self compassion and self kindness matters to you. What are your motivations for growing healing or becoming in this area number five. Consider the roots of your current patterns of thought and behavior was self compassion model to you. What stories you grow believing about yourself key. Think of an event or life experience. They made you believe that treating yourself kindly was wrong or selfish number six. Do you have role models in life. Which draws you to them. List out the characteristics about them you admire and or want to grow in yourself to think about how living from a place of self compassion might help you move closer to the vision of who and how you want to be number seven if there's one area of your life that you most want to change name it and write it down to acknowledge it. Then as we move through the month consider how to apply the information. We're learning to that specific issue or area of your life. May this be a year of gentle growth letting go of what no longer serves in deepening. Your roots of self awareness and self compassion.