A highlight from #288 - Cereal Just Got More Poisonous

The Basement Yard


What the fuck that would you throw a piece of a couple of noodle. Okay cool i frank. i'm doing. He's you know taking a day by don't you love those like Day by day lilla dream. Yeah and it's like you can sense the harm and hurt and pain. Anyone who's telling me they're living the dream. They really is not going not doing well. I have like a different points in my life. I have like different. Like what's the like. I live living the dream. Or you know this is paradise. That's my. that's a big one. in paradise. paradise is one of mine. Let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question right. Forget about living paradise but like you are a like a. How do i explain. I hope in a nice way like you. Dad's talked to people like in other words. You're one of those guys yet. But you know what i mean. So which one do you use. Because i was just in vermont with our friends aspo gigantic boss guy. All boss. Boss buddy do chief. Chief chief is much his out of control. I mean your dad was chief and coach. A lot of my dad was coaching. Your dad was coach difficulty. Everyone coach at the gas station filling up coach. She called your mom john for years. He did he did. It just doesn't make sense. It doesn't make any sense what's going on. Boss boss volumes. Hey how's it going behind at subway on bus Boss i said. Why did you go with an accent on the bus. There's racism say bossard or buddy. I think buddy. I didn't think about this. Is i what i know. I've worked with so many different fucking people and had to bullshit but so many different people that i've learned how to fuck in like how to talk to different people. You know what i mean. If you're an old woman. And i meet you. I'm fort with your heart. Your heart flirt. Oh gladys you're glowing. I'm talking to an old woman. Who's clearly in her sixties or seventies and she'll be like back in my day. It was like what nine hundred ninety nine off. You got it. You know what you gotta play the game baby. Yeah that's it. That's why that woman tried to nail you at a wedding dude. I almost fucked at that wedding. Frankie like was dancing with an old woman and then she pulled you in and said let's get. Let's get naughty or let let's get she raunchy. That's let's get raunchy. She got banged by an old woman. Dude this woman. I swear to god time and place and the time and place was five minutes to like the side of the dance floor. It wasn't that far or yeah no way she would have pegged me yeah. There's no doubt in my mind. But i was like i fucking party guy. You find an old woman you're dancing. You didn't know this woman you know there's a dance for and i got drinks at me on it with an old woman on my arm i'll give a fuck. Who's there because it was one of those like it was one of those dance parties. Like my family. You're really haven't been to a party with your family. Because i don't get it but like family. My family like the lake house people. This dance floor. You don't need to worry about people getting on it. People are getting out there. Yeah yeah you know. I don't know if your family's like no. Yeah okay good but like this was one of those weddings where it was like. Someone had a break. The ice gotcha and like drink. They had to be real drunk before they got into the fucking dance floor. That was up there. As soon as i got there i was. Oh don't go man. go pets pat. You don't know what you're saying. And i'm a big like whatever song is playing you dance to that song. Of course they played with the fuck dances to different songs. Frank no no. What i'm saying is like everyone will just be here for like. Oh yeah good. Like brown eyed girl and bruno mars and then they'll stay here forever right fucking. Bruno comes back being secretary. Yeah fucking brown. Eyed girl comes on and you know like you got a little sore. No one was on the dance floor. So i was like i'm gonna fuck and tear this busy just use grabbing a woman like sitting down accident florida. And it's just one of these like you pointed. She invited you and then she got up and just a little dance. Nothing crazy when she limber. Could she move surprisingly when you look at her. You'd think that a fucking huffing blow away will knock renown down right. A jetstream will knock those old bitch on our ass jetstream. I mean you just need a simple fucking gust from a pigeon. And she's going she's going to downtown. Yeah but then she left for a little bit and then she came back later. That's when i knew i was in trouble. Because she fucking grammy tight she probably like popped up like a woman viagra whatever the thing like red choo choo who are friends of the show are they. I don't know if today not today the normally they are whatever free plug. It's like the woman one is. It doesn't get your penis heart. It gets your johnny wet. Johnny is right. I haven't heard johnny and so long automating. This is you. Get johnny flowing. Just open up the car. Wash exactly exactly right back down to niagara on the machines on so i assume like she came and she grabbed me. And that's when she said just like let's get raunchy. Does she whisper that. She say it she said here. She said it with gumption. She said it with fucking power force. She had a lot of force behind those lips. Nice yeah so you didn't fucker though. No well i'm just saying no i don't know what it is. That older women have a thing for me. Maybe because i flirt with them. That's it can be found it and you know what i mean founded. That's not the first time an older woman is like tried to like finger bang me. I don't know if i've ever been accosted by an older woman. It's not the right word. Hello william shakespeare. What the fuck. Yeah the term. I don't know. I don't know what that means. It just felt right. But i don't think an old woman is ever ever done that because you're not what i will say this your more like when you drink. You're like me when i'm sober. What when you're sober. I got many many faces you do. I know i've seen them all. But when you drink you become more you come out of your shell little more normally not reserved but like hey. How's it going. You'll talk to people but like the big loud fucking vivacious. Right drinks are coming gets turned up to thirty. Yeah and and sometimes you get to forty. And then i have to pull you aside. You've stop it. You're starting to make me fucking reckless drunk. I always know what i'm doing. And i'm always a fun time whether your definition of undermined is the the difference. I'm sure you have fun. Ohio so so i mean i will say that one time in texas. I pissed people off but it was a hilarious. He ruined a hula-hoop who gives a fuck. It was a who copy or adults. Don't have hulu competition that's fair but you it was a. We did go to that place because they had a slide and i was fucking battered and bruised. Because of that's lied boroughs a hard slog slider like to like slide down. This was massive. Yeah and it was just like like fiber glass so you didn't like slide on it you really have to throw yourself down. Yeah it was. It was something which i did quite frequently. Yeah and i. I remember when we were there. Some kid notice me and bought me a drink but it was. It had some like really sexual name. Like it was like a deep throat ocean. Or something. Like that. And i'll i'll take that and then i got it and it was like blue when i was like whereas. Here's the ocean where the deep throat. I don't really know yet but it was. It was good.

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