A highlight from #122: [Mentor Moment] How can I become a peaceful parent?
Exactly where you are. This week's question is how can i become a peaceful parent. That is an excellent question I think first of all we have to ask ourselves. What what does that mean to you. What does peace mean to you like. Are we talking about to be more peaceful within myself. Because i'm inclined to yell at my kids and so i want to know how to stay calmer. Where are we talking about that. Internal frantic stressed out feeling. You want to be more peaceful in that way. So i think the first thing to do is reflect on. What does that mean to you to be a peaceful peaceful and then ask the questions. What is it this destroying my piece. What is it that is keeping me from feeling internally an acting externally the way that i really want to yet and it might be. You might be thinking well duh. Like i know exactly what destroys might be but take a little bit of time and really dig a little bit deeper like the first answer that comes to your mind might be well obviously like the screaming kids all day or a child who never listens anything. I have to say you know. But the reason why that irks us or destroys a sense of our inner peace or causes to yell is a little different for each of us. So you know take some time to really reflect on that you know when i work with parents the first thing i always have them do when we work on a behavior plan is reflected regulate like you know we really have to understand our relationship with what's going on either a behavior or in the case you know our peacefulness that really is driving us because that is important absolutely and i think that in order to regulate we have to actually take care of ourselves and i i often hesitate to use the word self care. You know because we're all little like oh yeah. Yeah whatever but truly if we are not caring for ourselves we aren't going to have the capacity to regulate and calm ourselves. And so i think there are numerous aspects to self care but the thing that has become very very important to me is sleep and i know that sleep sometimes we. We know we're not getting an asleep and we just feel like live too much. I can't worry about it or you know. We finally get our kids to bed. And that's the only time we feel like our self care is giving ourselves time to stay up. After they've gone to bed when in reality i think research shows over and over that sleep so valuable that it's essential really for our ability to calm and regulate ourselves and be peaceful within ourselves. Yeah and so. If you feel like. I don't even know how to get a good night's sleep either up worrying or maybe your physical things that are affecting that you make that a priority to untangle to figure out how you can get really good sleep so you know for some people. It might be an essential oil. An herbal supplement before bed or medication or You know lisa. Both of our families are really big fans of white noise. Machines does all types of things that can help us kind of increase our sleep hygiene if you will yes. Yeah and more recently. I've been using an app called brain. Fm and we can put that in the show notes. But i have found. It's it's science Well researched sound. That helps you sleep. And i cannot believe how much it's helping me i mean. I've been a terrible sleeper for a very long time and it is truly helping me sleep so we will put a link to that because it's so worth and there's a free trial she could try it out and see how she does it steadily helping me.