A highlight from The Bill Bert Podcast | Episode 54 w. Doug Stanhope - PART ONE

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

All right hey what's going on everybody and welcome. It's time for another wonderful episode of the bill bert pod. What's going what's going on bird. How are you so happy to have the number one requested guests on the show today. Ladies and gentlemen our friend doug stanhope regress right here waiting. The nine and i was the one that put in. Most of those requests on fox also counts. Doug i heard you talk on. Joe about joe's pod catch podcast which i loved by the way i should tell you you talked about not talking to some people for so long that it's awkward talking to people again and lucre mudgene the both of you. I'm dying to see your first interactions with people like in an airport when they're like. Oh shit though. Burt and they start closing the distance. And you're like get the fuck away brow brow at the fuck away. Wait you talking to me him. Both of you. I witnessed doug first interaction with the outdoor human. And it was joe. Rogan was awesome. Do i mean you've been pretty much quarantining before the quarantine living in arizona. Out there what you've been that's that's it. That was that road trip to austin was my first four out into the real world yards. Just been hanging out. Sports on the patio can't imagine how loud the outside world must be just like. I'm really envious of the peace and quiet. That you have out there. When i when i tend el paso traffic. It was the first time. I'd seen traffic and over a year and i was like the fucking little old lady from pasadena and i'm getting behind the slowest truck in the right hand lane so i haven't ten under the speed limit. Fuck terrifying what have you been like. I don't know. I haven't talked to you in like i can't even remember last time even saw you. I feel like this is like when jesus died were became bc in a d like with the pandemic. It's just certain people like burt. I'd seen him at least on zoom and shit but there was other people other people like they fucking died like they died for a year. A i i kind of feel like that. Like just the idea of booking dates. I think the last time. I saw you in london. I don't even remember that. I saw you. Oh know yeah. That was the last time unless it was. When i did your podcast after as fucking strung out after a manson debacle. Yeah i think that might have been in it. That that thing in london was a long time ago. I have to ask as far as like you know. Left to your own devices. Because i think i can't tell you how much i did miss going to lax. I missed the shows. I miss riff in front of crowds. I always liked that aspect of it but the travel. Like i really figured how i kind of learned how people stopped doing stand up. Is you just stop doing it. And then all of a sudden it takes about four months and then twenty five thirty years of just thinking about bits. Just it just goes away. Yeah you just start driving. You'll see something like oh that's amusing and it's no longer like at. Let me use this and i'll try. I'll try that tonight. At the store i kind of like was like yeah. I think i could. Maybe just sal. Everything live in the middle of nowhere and have an old pickup truck. And have i went by used to being that that that pedophile ring out there in hollywood moved out here. What did you do like did you drink more. Did you drink lasted anything. Change or why just started drinking earlier and go to bed. I'd be up at four in the morning. Sometimes it's starting. My day is happy. Hour started like all right. It's two o'clock in the afternoon. I am not gonna do you. Guys have kids. So you're kinda fucked. How many kids do you have now. Bill to and thank god. I did because my liver would be face down in a puddle of fucking alkies sweat right now. Dude if i if i fucking didn't have a wife and family and all of a sudden all of this work that i had just got cleared out of there and i had the you know i got. I got the twenty-seven yankees as far as like their lineup of booze bourbon. And all of that shit. That's been staring. Because i drank a couple of years. Pappy van winkle is all. I would've i have burned through hockey. Drank a couple of years. Crazy yeah twenty eighteen. I stopped and twenty eight and now. I took mushrooms for the first time in february and it made me realize all this shit i needed to face about myself and then that's why i fucked abused alcohol so now i'm just stone fucking sobering smoke cigars m done with all of it. I gotta figure out all of the shit that made me want to look at me. I'm a comedian. I can fly helicopter. Look at me. Do you like me all of that. Shit a came up a still stuck in haiti myself and find them for that reason edges. I'll stare at them in the freezer and go fuck it do some mental laundry here eventually. I'm just gonna read eyeballs out like a fucking student film. It just sort of like. It's it's i think it kind of it. Settles you into the real. You know part of you that you didn't know that was just drifted right here. I'm aware i used to be a regular tripper over the years disease at age you start store and so much baggage in the back of your skull and eventually i wanna trip again. But all that shit's going to. It's like when you puke when i eat mushrooms and that but it's a it's the mental puke that i would have to do after that just dealing just picturing storage wars like that law and then they open it up and then like thirty years. This shit just comes spilling out anything. Valuable in their other jack. Do you have like tour dates and stuff. Because for those of you who are lived under a rock doug stanhope is basically the best fuck comedian. You're ever going to see that. Still alive as he smokes. Another fucking cigarette this fucking guy on just a whole other level dude like you know. There's a lot of people put on the rebel jacket and acting like they're fucking against the system. I mean you you fucking. You've really just been that guy. The first time i saw you. I saw you when you had the long hair. I saw you at the laugh factory and it was just like and everybody was going up doing their. Gimme deal sad. I gotta here. Here's my twenty minutes said about my wacky families. So i can get on. Must see tv right then. You went up there and it was just like he used made all of us look like fucking cowards and it was just this twenty minutes to show is like who the fuck is this guy. I thought i was funny. And then i found out about you within a little bit later i found out about hedberg. I was just like oh dance where the bar is. Okay just went down a hedberg rabbit holy on a day every every year or two you just go down ahead bird. Youtube fucking still holds up. Do you notice the most amazing thing about that guy was he did a letterman set.

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