Episode 101: San Francisco (or 'Don't Call it San Fran') - burst 5

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

My favorite San Francisco story is about the time. Well I. It's about when our first dates so we're a few months into dating and we go to this fancy Sushi date in San Francisco and on that date Leah He's got a weird sense of humor and they were what were they. Were getting the tables set up for like the breakfast service or whatever and they had these tiny little jars of jam and mustard. They were really cute. They're Super Q. They were like the size of a thimble. They were really tiny. I don't even know how you were supposed to get all of the jam out of there but Leah thought it'd be funny if we would just steal them so she was like what is huges. Go Up in St Louis Jar of me. Is that when you're laughing and trying to talk. I don't know if I was laughing. I might have just been like all right guy that we've been on three days. Here's what we're going to jail. He was more than three. We're GONNA steal all these jars so anyway I don't want to be a wet blanket. I'll save that for after we're married and I'm like fine. Let's do these jars so one of us like distracts the waitress. We have a whole song and dance and we do like a weird little creep around the table and just swoop if one of the jars. Yeah it was pretty smooth honestly and that was the point in which we descended into a night of pure criminal exploitation. We became mm-hmm like extreme criminals. Guys this is. This is the story about the time we were criminals. Yeah we decided that we were going to steal every every useless thing that we could find everything that like. Nobody would care. Somebody stole it. We were GONNA steal. We rode the elevator down from the restaurant. There was on the third floor and those little floor marking signs of the end of the elevators. One of them was the glue was coming off and so I took it. We stole it. We stole that. It was number three. I should have it in our apartment. Didn't give a fuck. We superstars how that's how intense I am. We were bad. We were so bad we took. It was so dumb stuff. It was like men's when we didn't talk to the person who is handing out the or like a toothpick or I think I grabbed a piece of potpourri counter. We had like this little collection and then I decided to take it up a notch and I was like all right. It's really cool that we're stealing stuff but let's go sneak into stuff. I want to trespass because we were dressed up like really fancy like you're wearing like your fanciest suit formation and the cost twenty dollars and I was wearing like a thrift store address and I was like we're fancy. Now let's go sneak stuff like we belong there so we went to this hotel that we won't say which it is but it has a famous elevator. We're not going to tell you which one it is because we are flying full on going to tell you a bunch of secrets about it that you should not do so. It's got famous elevator which we won't tell you about what we can tell you is that you can take that elevator up to a very cool tower with very cool view Except for you have to have a room key to take the elevator. We snuck behind these fancy old people who clearly we're we're going up to the tower like acted like we also were going up to the tower press the button and I was like. Oh yeah same floor Harambe I. I was like remember Matt Profits Mirror so we went up there and we went through an emergency exit door and it was just started like skulking around the floor like poking stuff and like stealing seeing what we could steal Steal Moist towelettes car O. We did steal a moist. Towel Ed Yeah and yeah so then we've found like this door and we just we were like. Let's open this door because we were being hardened criminals at this point. Let's open the store and Trespass Amore and it was like this really cool like little like fire escape way up in like this. Like top floor of this tower. That looked out over the twinkling lights of San Francisco and it was so romantic. This story is not going to get sexy. There is no knows ex happened but I will say that one of the things people do in this famous elevator. That we won't tell you anything about is they hit the emergency Uh Stop Button and the bang. which we didn't do we do not do that? We are definitely not that cool so we walked the Fairmont and we start we were started wandering around L. I. O.. More stuff. I WANNA take this like I want to apologize to the Fairmont here. We love the FAIRMONT. We have a lot of love for this specific San Francisco. Fairmont hotel is not bill but we definitely bent some rules during our visit to the Fairmont. We definitely may have stolen some blocks of soap. I think link and cements. They had some cute little pill laments and we weren't staying there and we took some this was. This was the only remotely big deal steel that we got actually. Yeah we that the I've pulled a piece off of the off of Chandelier in a conference room. I guarded the door. I guarded the door Jeremy Stolen. He's the chandelier. Look Fairmont hotel. If you want your piece of chandelier shaped like a pinecone back we still have it somewhere in our apartment you can have it back but yes we deal it. We are horrible people so after our thefts were done and we made off with the booty we had like a whole. Oh collection of like random shit. Do we went down to terrorist room and there was an Indian wedding going on and we were just like let's crash this wedding and then and we realized like we shouldn't crash a wedding. That's not okay but it was really fun for the five minutes that we were there before we realized that we were being the rudest people everything smelled so good I just wanted to plow through their buffet and it was like everybody was dancing in lake. It was so much fun we did not plow through their buffet. That was like that was the line. We were like all right. No no further so we went onto the rooftop. It's got this rooftop terrace that looks over the city. Got these big palm trees with lates. It's super for romantic. It was so romantic. We're like gazing out at the twinkling lights of San Francisco while the fog rolled in and this was like our third date. There's an our third day. Why do you keep saying that? I don't know third month of data it was it was early. We went to the edge of the terrorists and it was super romantic. We at this point. I hadn't said I love you now. But we're like gazing the which others is and I was like he's going to do it. This is the perfect time to say. I love you said so. Do you want to go downstairs to the room for a nightcap and it was the most disappointing thing ever although the room was great and I love the room but I did not say I love you there. I should have. We'll get into the actual story of when I said that at a different episode so a few months go by six months it was real early and and I have this grand scheme that I'm GonNa ask Mary me. He had no idea. Are you kidding me. I knew within like I knew the next day after the Fairmont I was like that's where he's that's what he's he's GonNa do and you're GonNa do it on our anniversary. She was clueless So I- reenacted a bunch of dates that we had had in our first year we had a picnic The ferry building we love picnic. It was Christmas time and so there was ice skating in Union Square. Romantic time in the air. Yeah I love Union Square in Christmastime Times. The only time I liked union square but we went to union square to to go ice skating and took one look at people ice skating and was like nope I have like fragile knees your superclubs really clumsy and we snuck back up to that elevator. Joe Named we went back in the elevator. Win the -mergency exit stovepipe standby whatever stovepipes. Frosty the snowman. Whatever we trespassed again it was a good time and then we had dinner bar team which is now targeting manufacturer and then went back to the family And at this point Leon still still has. No I know my God. And we're wandering the FAIRMONT. There's a beautiful gingerbread house because it's Christmas and we walk out on the terrorists. Know hold on. You rushed me passage into Red House. I was like Oh my God. I want to look at other gingerbread houses. It's pretty we're like no. We have to go up to the roof right now. Like why gotta go. It is because I had set this up where our friend was waiting in a Bush in the freezing cold December weather San Francisco. She was there for a while there for so long. And do you want to say what happened. You asked me to marry you boom and you open it by being like like when you go today. It wasn't a year ago today. Whatever I should've asked you to marry me Arrow? Let me do this terrible this. I said that I should have said that I love you. Are there because it was super romantic and I decided that I was GonNa make up for it right now and then a god down on that and I was like at our friend. Our a friend was like a hiding in the Bush taking low-quality here's a worst quality pictures. They were like blurry cell phone pictures in the middle of the night and it was. You can't see anything not our that. Sorry be but there was like a really drunk couple that swore that they had pictures for us. Never send them to us. We're still waiting on those. If you're out there please we send us our wedding pictures. Come on Heather and then we went down to the room and we celebrated with all of our friends like arranged. A surprise party. Surprised that one. You actually actually didn't see come now. You didn't see coming when I booked our first our wedding night. After our wedding at the FAIRMONT. Because we can't afford that Shit without credit card right points. That part of the story does get sexy. Don't they feel so violated now. We love the Fairmont and Fairmont on San Francisco holds a special place in our heart because we have so many moments there and it's such a beautiful place this is not sponsored by the FAIRMONT. But if you're listening we're not turning away sponsorships remove both. Yeah it was. That was my favorite San Francisco Story. It was super romantic You're a big old softy. Real mushy and disgusting. And I love you. I know that we gave San Francisco a lot of love but we live in Oakland. But I promise that we have in Oakland episode coming up because Oakland is one of the best different than San Francisco Cisco but we'll do that on a future episode and I think to close off this episode. What have we did like a little mash? Up of all of our favorite San Francisco songs but like only like take a few seconds each so that we don't violate the copyright. What do you think a little mash? Up Son Fra In San Francisco. San Francisco's call Vic Johnson. MM SMOOTH SMOOTH PARVO

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