"Like grocery shopping. That's why this podcast features funny stories from fantastic writers about our daily L. E. anomalies a micro audio book about life and befuddle men. Just for you our story. This week is from Shawny silver. Who you'll find wind on medium DOT COM and here is shopping for going out close at age? Thirty seven a scary story to tell in the dark back in ten days time. I'm going to New Orleans to visit two of my dearest girlfriends. We haven't been in the same room together since Obama's first term. This is a big deal a couple of weeks ago one of them texted and asked me how I feel about having having a night in New Orleans. She is my best friend. She knows me well enough to understand that my strong itinerary preference prince is Popeye's chicken on her couch while we facebook stock. Everyone from law school. She knows what she's asking of me. Of course I'm down for a night in New Orleans who wouldn't be in the era of shared ride APPs really have no reason to turn down a a little revelry. I have enough time to mentally prepare myself since day awake past midnight and I have a genuine love of the off Bourbon in St offerings in this town. Let's do this my one true concern wardrobe. I don't own going out close anymore because I do not partake in going out. I don't go to places with lines out front and if I have to scream to communicate I leave. Save the fun I enjoy as a thirty-seven-year-old adult typically happens during the day and I can tell you I enjoy it and save a lot more than I ever did. During the era of my life will quietly call body glitter but I refused to lead an unbalanced unbalanced. Life that only consists of leggings and I- delight inexperienced wonderful places likely to lead to excellent photos. I am jumping into this three sheets to the wind experience. Despite the fact that I'd rather be home wrapped in three sheets so I took to the Internet in order to outfit myself was something suitable for nighttime merriment reader. I screamed admittedly. It's been awhile since I let my FA- Lange's wonder into these e commerce categories but good Lord. I didn't think I'd been in out of the game so long. That actual clothing had gone out of fashion. I didn't recognize any of the garments. I saw and I certainly he didn't know how to ingress or Egress a single. One of them are we- wearing lingerie out of doors. Now is that what's happening not to sound too much like the women in my grandmother's Thursday afternoon Magellan Group but put some clothes on. I just want to to go to dinner and a bartenders in this cocktail bar or two. I don't also want to lose an extremity to the wiles of winter. You're also why is everything tight. Why is everything a bodysuit? I'm not swimming the channel. I'm ordering a young a Pinot Noir. I'm looking through scores of items typically worn by a dominatrix while being paid handsomely for her work and and I simply can't feel confident about my ability to exit a lift in any one of them whereas my solace I ask you. I can't take myself seriously in clothing. That looks like the dog ate half of it nor am I ready to shop. It stores reserved for the ladies who monitor standardized testing. I don't know where I belong or what to wear when I get there. And I feel adrift in a Sea of very restricting and and difficult to care for fabrics in the end I know all go with a deep V.. Black Henley high waisted gene black good evening bag on a gold chain any chunky. He'll suck boot Wing my eyeliner and dry shampoo my hair and hope to heaven. And there's been time for a nap that day because all of these things are what. Make me feel comfortable. And if I'm not comfortable then there will never be a night anywhere that I'll be able to enjoy and that's what you know when you're thirty seven that never crossed your mind. Ten Years Prior no matter how much your feet hurt while wearing address. That didn't allow you to sit down. Oh yes I had my time. Don't wait for me. He if you're still in the phase of your life that requires double stick tape. I applaud you. I was you once. I don't regret that time and I'm not sad about progressing to this time. I just wish there was one retailer who grown up with me. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to spend my day making soup editing. My podcast in reading a book. And if you're spending yours removing hand stamps and wrist spans and frantically retracing the steps of your debit card."