A highlight from 3405: To the Moon

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Home elon musk motherfucker. Hey we're live welcomed the keith. And the girl. I'm keith malley. i'm hamda. We'll get to it. The first some good news kendall poker and our wednesday chat room then in our closer friends poker that we play on friday. She won again. How does it feel. i cannot believe it. i don't even want to say anything about it. Because i just finally started to feel defeated. And that's what i want. So i'm gonna keep feeling defeated. I'm cracking something. Either that or the secret is pms. do you be. do you focus more. Like oh cramped. I think like At my internet wasn't working in the beginning on wednesday and that means i couldn't chat so is more focused on poker and then i'm just like at no when you grumpy about other things just like i was. I was definitely pushing people. I was being a bully. Not in a mean. I feel like people hear this. And they think i'm yelling at people. I couldn't chat with anybody. I'm just betting too high and pushing them and so Shoutout to catan girl and vince. Who i pushed right out of the game. There's did you see this online. They have a cramp simulator so You put these little electrodes around your testings. And it simulates a cramp what women go through and in this video i saw the women are like started like i did like. Yeah i feel it but in my cramps are even worse than that. They put on the guys. The guys are falling and looks real to me. The guys are falling over there. Get this though. Fuck out of here but this is such a good idea. Okay i understand that. All i sound like is you know a woman on her period right now like yeah get them with the cramps but no you know when you go to a doctor. And they're like what level is your pain. And i don't know because i can get cramps. That might be at level twenty. And i'm just like i'm going to sit out this one for a second. Just kinda be cool that anything. This is a way to gauge. I think what this cramping device. What if you you can put on yourself and have matched the pain that you have and then put it on the doctor. Speaking of doctors is everybody getting their vaccine. America is opening up in a big big way. Three people including a child shot in times square. Some people killed in the shooting in colorado. We're coming back. America is opening up. And you need your vaccine. Because you're going to be running into a lot of people remember in the beginning of the pandemic everyone had this idea of and this is like maybe a month into it when everything opens back up we are all just going to run towards each other to give the nearest person to us a hug. It was this amazing thought process and then when we came out it was to march about. Black lives matters. That was the first you know. read it. It's so not what we envisioned in wanted. But it's funny that even mass shooters were respecting the virus. They were staying in. And then it's like okay. You can go out now. Okay if you think it's safe you know what you have. The joe rogan making the news because he said hey. If you're young don't take the vaccine. You don't know what's in it motherfucker. You were on fear factor but was in that bull dick later he says. Hey i'm an idiot. I don't know what i'm talking about. I'm like well you didn't have to go on for four hours. Then i was talking to my sister and And i love that church. The news is driving her nuts. It is as it is to me and if you heard our conversation over the phone about this virus people not taking their second vaccine. I'm like what the fuck she goes. Yeah i know. What the hell. And i'm like i know what the fucking shit that went on for about half hour good to catch. Oh wow late. That's so funny because every other word is fuck but when you're around your parents that were doesn't exist. That would have been such a shorter conversation with less word right. What are you trying to say. Are they going chess. What the fuck. Yeah right what does shit all right. Let's talk about it. You long mosque on saturday night. Live ruining all of my money's can hell now. I say have more people with ass burgers on if my money's not involved. It is is exciting to watch really. I was upset about that. You know i. It doesn't seem like john has bad intentions in life but it seems like a lot of people hate him just for you know being a billionaire and just i've said this before it's hard to think of someone as a good person as a billionaire because like well how can you walk around in the earth. It's so much different than your money and everybody else's homeless youth bubble up but he seems to be using his money for good giving it away like Having these ideas of people more even all the shit. And i'm like yeah but snl like if you think of elon. Musk i have to be qualified to come work with you to come to your office even for a meeting. I have to qualify to talk to you but you just go on. Snl you're an awkward speaker to begin with you know even if you're talking about the stuff that you know very well and now without like a year of acting skills which i don't think like i think i think people go. Well they're just talking you know. And so it's with with a couple of coach sessions. I could nail this. I'm standing there and talking. But it was the most awkward thing on earth to the point of feeling insulted as a viewer. You decided to have yourself a night of fun on snl. Of course you know people talk about if you were billionaire. We'll crazy thing. Would you do i would buy my way onto hosting snl. If felt like that's what happened and now we have to sit through it. It seems like lorne. Michaels is going to be seen in a new carl sudden. You know right yeah. Uh-huh tesla. Perhaps but i guess if it's offensive that people who earned the right to be there. I think once every three months they should just take somebody from the street in hosts. That's why i want. I want to want this with you. So tell me why. Here's your host janet

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