A highlight from Lost Boy: Pastor Gregs Personal Story

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

All you went through you know with your mom neglecting you. Having find her own way all the drinking all the fighting of did you know What was missing in your life or or had just become kind of an alternate normal in the charlene household. I need life was wacky but deep down inside i felt it was going to get better and i was an optimist and i would even say something of a romantic strangely enough by romantic. I mean i thought there was going to be a better life a better world. Things are going to improve one day. I just didn't know when optimism. I think is the word pastor. Greg's wife kathy. You would think a kid like that would just be discouraged and feel like life it just delta really bad hand and you know all the rest of it but they're in the midst of that there. Was this incredible. Bright outlook on life. But i always had a sense that my life was going to change and it was going to get better. I just didn't know how. Or when. And as i was sort of coming to the point where i ultimately gave my life to the lord of elimination. Trying all these things that the world had offer next thing you know there. I am with a drink in one hand. Cigarette in the other party and with the gang and i'm thinking wait a second his in this my mom's life isn't this a life. I said i never wanted to live. How do they end up here. So i decided i should change my life so around this time. The whole you know the sixties drug thing is in full swing and and you know and a whole generation of young people are rebelling against the upbringing. They've had in and they're saying that drugs will expand your consciousness. And so i tried marijuana and i was hoping that i could sort of change my life. I wanted to be a different person. So i didn't see it as just another substance to abuse. I don't know that. I really was a substance abuser addicted to any drug. I was trying to find some kind of answer. It was relatively easy for me to let go of drugs. Once i came to faith i was actually thinking. Believe it or not through drugs. I would some l. Find the answers to live and so by turning from alcohol drugs. It wasn't like i was going from just one deviant lifestyle to another in my mind at that time. But no this is going to enlighten me or so. I thought well. Of course you know it didn't light me at all. One thing was true. It made me more aware. I became more aware of how miserable and empty i was and so through my drug experimentation smoking pot and then ultimately trying lsd which was sort of like the next level as it would be described at that time. I thought it was gonna be really turned on that. It was gonna now know all the mysteries of the universe and in the did nothing of the kind. My life is just going down the tubes in fact one time some friends of mine were in a car. We went down to laguna beach in southern california to buy a whole bunch of marijuana a truckload of marijuana and we had it in the trunk and we weren't going to sell it. We were gonna smoke it all ourselves in as we were in the cars in the backseat. My friend was driving. He lost control of the car. It was raining that night. He began to fish tale. And we're near one of the cliffs there in laguna and i thought i'm going to die. And the newspaper headline tomorrow is going to be drug dealers dying solo spin up and they'll be ward and june cleaver having their morning coffee and chomping on their toes saints serves right that deviance and i remember sitting that thing in. I don't wanna die like this. And actually offered up a little prayer to god. And i said god. If you're real get me out of this if you get me out of this i promise i'll serve you in. God caused that car to get straightened out. We didn't get into a wreck. We didn't go off any cliff. And i said thank god. Cnx crisis. i began to smoke more pot. I took lsd on the weekends. This is not a prolonged period of time for but for a number of months. And i saw all of my creative juices been drained. Out of me what. I once had a pretty good sense of humor i it was just. It was almost like it was gone. I was coming just a shell just does just a aimless stupid kid who just thought about getting high after school. I saw what it was doing to my friends. I knew it was the wrong path. And and i actually had come to the conclusion. I'm leaving this lifestyle. i'm gonna walk away from it. I'm gonna turn my back on drugs. But i just don't know where to go because i thought i don't want to get into the whole social. Cnn kind of done that. I was going up for the football team hanging around the cute cheerleaders partying on the weekends at done. That scene didn't want to do that. Scene done the whole druggy thing now. It didn't make my life any better made it worse. So we're going to go now in what. What am i supposed to be what this is. All kind of context of a high school mine understand you know. My options are limited. I don't know that much yet. And and so. It was again as i said earlier. Process of elimination. It's not here. it's not there. There's something out there. There's something good there's something cure. There's something noble. I mentioned that as you read in the book. My mom rebelled against her religious upbringing. I rebelled against this sin and it drove me to find something pure and good and noble out there. But i just know where to find it. Well let's let's talk about how you did find it You were a kid that spent a lotta time on the streets newport beach It was the kind of the burgeoning time of the jesus movement. Yeah and You write in the book that You'd see often some of these kids out. There sharing their faith on the streets around newport. Beach yes Did you ever have any encounters with them. You know it's an interesting thing. I at that time i would hang around in newport. And i was in my little drug phase at that point and i would go down and hanging around. This area called the funds on just the place for kids who congregate lean up against the wall. A pretty good tough look on my face at that point and i would lean up against a wall haring over my eyes. Use your imagination. And he's pretty good head hair cigarette hanging out of my mouth. Tough and i remember. See the christians out there hanging out there little tracks and religious literature and they had these little bit they were tiny little red bibles it had versus printed in them and i remember they would walk up to me. I would watch them talk to other people in a remember thinking to myself. Come talk to me. You're really thinking. I wanted someone to talk to me. But it was too proud to go and say talk to me but it was income. Talk to me and they would walk up to me. Look at me. Kind of gingerly thrust little booklet into my hands and back away. You know the bar afraid of you. Yeah they bought into my fake. Tough guy persona hacked. What if they would have come up to you or were you wanting to to debate with them or were you really looking for what they were offering. I think i would have been pretty receptive. Actually dave because i never through any of these things away i would take them and i would shove him in my pocket like i didn't care but the point is i showed them in my pocket. I didn't throw them in the trash. And i went home and i would empty my pockets and i would put him in a door. Every religious item people gave me whatever track and it might be a christian. It might be one of the colts that were out handing out the materials. I saved everything in a door. And every now and then i'd take this drawer out and dump it on my bed and i'd sit there and i'd read through these materials and i'd try to figure them out I wanted to know the meaning of life. And i thought one of these little booklets one of these little pamphlets might have the answer but i couldn't make rhyme or reason. I needed someone to explain it to me. you know. The bible tells the story of a man who came from ethiopia searching for god. He didn't find god in jerusalem at that time but he did obtain a copy of a scroll of isaiah that he was reading from when the lord directed philip the apostle to go to him and share the gospel and phillips said. Do you understand what you're reading in the men said. How can i unless someone shows me the way. That's where i was at. I had all this stuff. I

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