The Shocking Day I Flashed a Crowd of Churchgoers

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Our story. This week is from sarah. Paris who you'll find on medium dot com and here is the shocking day. I flashed a crowd of churchgoers. And this isn't even my most embarassing moment. How did i find myself soaking wet and naked from the waist down in front of a church crowd. Did i traumatized scores of little kids. In grandma's it's a long story and yes most likely here's my tale of woe. Thunder roared through a heavy sky. I sped down winding country lanes panicked. We wouldn't arrive on time. My friend grace and i were running late to church and she barked our countdown time from the passenger seat. Five minutes dude. We're still a few miles away. She screamed god. Still hasn't given me the stop time. Talent i'm going as fast as i can. It was the july after college graduation. My college roommates and i had decided to share one less carefree summer together. We played all summer each of us working part time and in vain clinging to the last vestiges of young adulthood. They were all three weeks away from heading out for various graduate schools. I was leaving to spend a year in. Amsterdam are worry free. Summer was spent embarking on adventures playing at the beach and sleeping in until noon. We talked about church but so far had bailed every week grace and i were the only ones going. We're both lazy on sunday morning. But we'd commit it. The church was thirteen miles away from our summer house and the last service began at eleven. Am we didn't walk out the door until ten forty five am. The sky wept as i pulled into the crowded parking lot at ten fifty nine. We laughed about our mature adult like behavior and found a parking spot. In another state. I realized distance from parking space to church was easily a thousand miles. The rain was blinding. And we didn't have an umbrella between us. Let's just blow it off this week. I suggested but i knew we couldn't. We dressed up for god after all we gathered our things made makeshift head coverings out of our jackets and sprinted from the car in one hand. I clutched both my jacket. And my giant norma's keychain my bible and purse were death gripped in the other hand. Grace only carried her jacket. At least seventeen feet of rain had fallen in the time. It took me to park. Grace i mustered our courage and ran at the same time. We were about ten feet away from the swarm. Faithful and responsible umbrella owning congregants who are reaching the churches front door. We swam to join the crowd. My soaked clothes weighing an extra hundred pounds and stuck to my buddy beamed with my love for god as i faced a possible drowning. Death for him are tears of laughter mixed with the rain and i could barely see. Suddenly i noticed that my wrap around skirt felt a bit loose and then gray shrieked with a new menacing laughter. She was pointing at me and covering her mouth. A cool breeze roared my backside before i realized what had happened. My hipster rap around pencil skirt was down around my ankles. My bright pink bikini. Briefs were on display for all of god's people and we were still thirty people back from entering the church. Foyer i exclaimed oh my grace help me. Grace replied is only close. Friends can way she said. Between bursts of giggles she turned to the family behind. Me over. ear is no one should have to see this. I had nowhere to put my belongings and struggled to pull up my skirt. please help grace. I pleaded. I need to savor this moment. I wondered if she was possessed by now. Most of the people surrounding us striptease a nervous. Dad laughed a grandmother. Told me i should feel ashamed of myself. And a mother with her two young sons. Put her hands over. There is finally graced. Took my stuff allowed me to pull up my sopping dirty skirt sitting through the service friend. She smiled. I narrowed my eyes and shot lasers at her. We walked into the back of the crowded service and those in the rows ahead of us turned and stared. I heard two women behind us. Whisper to each other. What is wrong with that girl. I prayed for a dark cave to crawl into. The god doesn't always answer prayers. In the ways we desire the judgment of stranger sent ways of heat through my otherwise shivering body. You can stay. Told grace. But i'm going. We snuck out and trudged back to the car. I can't wait to tell everyone. My compassionate friend said when my mortification wore off. I only regretted that i hadn't shouted. You're welcome on my way out of the service. A few years later grace introduced me to her fiancee's hunter sarah the skirt list wonder. I've heard all about you. He laughed and clapped. My back. neat responded to this day. I still have a hard time making eye contact with hunter again. My church strip-tease barely cracks my top five embarrassing moments so whenever you dur public humiliation i hope you'll recall my pink bikini briefs and i hope you'll realize that you're not alone.

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