De-Stressing Your Life

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You're giving giving giving and you never take enough nurturance to supply that so what we're gonna do is trying to bring down the level of tasks we bring up the level of nurturance for you and i think you deserve a personal trainer. Okay now jesse has a personal trainer two to three times a week correct. Yes is there any reason. She couldn't work out on her own twice a week. I think that's possible and then you're going to start Doing some rock climbing. Okay i want you to start planning six to eight months in advance to have an adventure once a year okay. So would you call yourself a high achiever call me. What would you feel if you did get to the top everest. What's next tax. Would anything after be enough. You know i would always have something else can you see that with this kind of mindset. You're setting children up to pack every minute of their lives and never have enough. Never be enough. Okay here's a rule for living. I want you to really listen to it. Never do to yourself what you would never do to your child. You deserve as much love and respect as you do. And they're gonna learn to love and respect not only uber themselves. If you value yourself artha martha necks. Martha calls a mandatory family meeting a desert as house. Mandatory okay now. I've got you guys together. I want to ask you some questions about the things that your mom wrote to oprah she's rights. I feel like i'm always being picked at like an alfred hitchcock's the birds like she's being picked apart. You want to grow up to yourselves now. I'm assuming you don't want to feel that way either. Excellent we're on the same team now. We just have to set to work here. Okay now on this calendar we've listed the afternoon activities. Each of the people in the family each person has a different color. For example. You have karate on tuesdays and thursdays. Now your mom told me that sometimes on thursdays you like to play with your friend and you're not that excited about garage. Is that true. I don't wanna get anybody's hackles up but what. If instead of on thursdays going to karate you just had a play date with your friend and you could go to karate on tuesdays but would that be like for you better. Thank you very much for that now. Is there any way does ray rich to get krista kafer tuesday thursday appointments in a different way than we're doing right now. Krista there's gotta be someone in your religion class that you know like five or six and my friends already crippled. So why can't we join in that corporal. Week okay so we can save half an hour here. The interesting thing does right. If you cancelled the thursday which connor would improve his life. You not only save half an hour entitled but you have given yourself a block of extended time during which you can do something for yourself and it's also ten minutes and ten minutes back which doesn't sound like a lot but it turns half an hour into fifty minutes which is absolutely so. You've saved an hour absolute time and you've also reduce your stress really remarkably and that the same thing is true here if you can get a carpool going to religion right and those are just on two days so if we went through every day i think we could reduce your absolute time commitment by ten to twelve hours a week. Okay well does. Race says meeting. Martha was life altering. It was a wakeup call for her whole family. The very next day she signed up for a mountaineering trip. You did yes. I did my first lesson mountaineering which is something off. that was just one tip of the iceberg. So what is the big thing you learned that if you don't keep your dreams alive that's it if i don't i will teach my children the legacy. I'll be teaching. Them is martyrdom as good sacrifices. Okay you don't have to be mater. One of the big things. Martha says is that mothers. Are teachers your primary job is is. Mother is a teacher and too many of you. Mothers thinks your primary job is a servant but that your primary job is really as a learned that watching the discovery channel. The mother bear the mother otter whatever she teaches them to hunt and then she has an hunt for them anymore. Because that would that would actually disable them in their wild environment. So you're doing the same thing with your kids when you do for them what they already know how to do so. Your belief is that you should do for you. Kids what they can do for them. So i have a son with down syndrome and as such. I've been trained from very early. That i have to teach him and then stop doing for. That's the way to be a good mother. So i've had a privilege learning something about mothering. That most mothers don't and it works equally well for my daughter because i think a lot of mothers are still. You know my friend gayle. Her children are now fourteen and fifteen but one week and they were at my house when they were ten and eleven and gail was too she goes. I got i got. I gotta run their bathwater. And i said don't they know the difference between hot and cold and she just stopped in her tracks and she goes. Yeah but i've always run their bathwater. You know how to do all kinds of and it's actually good for them to have the opportunity to do it and you believe children should cook for themselves. Yeah that's mainly. Because i hate to cook but you know i also got that from from the down syndrome trainers who would say at the age of seven. Adam should cook for himself really. I read that. And i thought that's so odd cooked together but everybody cooks his or her own favorite dish. Okay more of this episode after a short break support for this episode comes from organic by a line of organic superfoods blends that offers plant based nutrition made with high quality ingredients. Each organic blend is science backed to craft the most effective doses with ingredients that are organic and free of fellers and contain less than three grams of sugar per serving like organic green juice with essential superfoods and a clinical doses of oshawa gonda. It helps reduce stress and support healthy cortisol levels organic gold a superfood t that supports rest and relaxation. So you can wake up feeling refreshed. Each organic blend is easy to use by simply mixing it with water or your favorite beverage while on the go. And they don't compromise quality for taste organic by takes pride in offering the best tasting superfood products on the market at a price that works out to less than three dollars a day. You can experience organic high-quality superfoods without breaking the bank. Go to our gamified dot com slash oprah and use code oprah for fifteen percent off any item in the store. That's our g. a. n. I f i dot com slash oprah and code oprah for fifteen percent off any item more of this episode after a short break. Today's episode is supported by better help online counseling. If you think you may be depressed or you're feeling overwhelmed or anxious better help. Online counseling offers online licensed professional therapists. Who are trained to listen in to help for anxiety difficulty in achieving your goals relationship conflicts depression and more. It's simple you fill out a questionnaire to help assess your specific needs and then get matched with a counselor in under forty eight hours. Then you can easily schedule secure video or a phone sessions plus exchange unlimited messages to communicate with your therapist at your convenience. Everything you share is confidential and you can request new therapist at any time at no additional charge. Join the one million. Plus people who have taken charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced better health counselor. Better help is an affordable option and our listeners. Get ten percent off your first month with a discount. Code oprah get started today at better. H e l p dot com slash oprah talked with therapist online. And get help all you list makers out there. I know there are millions of you. Listen up this is heather. Pendergast her to do. This is so overwhelming. It would make even martha stewart cringe list unbelievable. I'm a thirty two year old. stay at home. Mom of two little boys ages

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