Dr. Shauna Shapiro on using mindfulness to help grow our emotional resources and our childrens self regulation.

Raising Good Humans


So I'm open. I'm ready. Can a couple of minutes a day? Do Anything. Absolutely, in fact, change happens in a moment right? We also have an A. Or insight, and it also happens over time and so there's this kind of interesting paradox or juxtaposition that you don't want to limit what change can happen 'cause I've seen huge change happened a moment and you also don't want to underestimate the power of subtle changes over time, and that's why my theme is. What you practice grows stronger than really the only thing you have control over is setting your intention setting your compass direction you WanNa head over and over as best you care not perfectly everyday practice mattis taking a deep breath today and again tomorrow practice counting to three before you snap at your child practice putting your hand on your heart and often yourself kindness once today. And love those because it's so. Manageable and rate. Now, if we can take those small moments, it's incredible if you just yeah find those moments of breath. How different your interaction can be with your family. Absolutely, and also the body would I've noticed recently 'cause as I said, we have four kids and a dog in their lives chaos going on. Is really softening body because what I noticed that sometimes in the kitchen and unlike braced for war A. Tie My shoulders here in like my buds pledged district to soften rate in just just leading the body settled and I feel my feet night truly wiggle my toes because that unlike there we go and so I think it's really about remembering and so had we remember is we practice in eventually it becomes a habit I remember growing up whenever my daddy get angry and we all know he really you could feel it he would close his eyes. And he would take a deep breath with his handling this. And I was normal I thought that's what you did. That's appearance do when they get angry and it would always calm him down not that he would be super happy afterwards yet that was his automatic habit when instead of the Elliott you that's what he would do and what I realized from that is it wasn't that my dad didn't get angry wasn't that he was perfect he got angry. But that was his goal to practice, and so if we can start to implement these practices in our life, it's like when I get angry, I put my hands behind Madonna. Hop on one foot I don't really care what it is interrupt your pattern and interrupt superhighways of habit so that we can start to carve out new pathways and what you just described with your father sounds like it was constructive. He wasn't not getting angry because sometimes you do need to get angry to meet whatever your emotional goal is is self-regulation is just it's intentional and so that breath made his anger tension on I imagine sometimes when he took the breath, he was like actually. I'm that that anger not where I wanna go I don't know better know his experience but having that moment to I would love for you to talk a little bit about making those emotions constructive instead of just pretending they're not they're exactly. So what this does is it allows us to have the full spectrum of motion. It's not saying push. Those are bad never have does it saying being human? You're going to have the full spectrum, but you need to know how to wisely. Relate to regulate your emotions and so when anger comes up, what mindfulness does is puts you back choice it doesn't say that you're not gonNA still be angry, but you're backing choice. So you can use the anger wisely instead of reactively and causing more harm and I think that's really the key to to mindful -regulation of motion is we welcome all of our emotions we see them clearly, and then we respond

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