6 Life Areas Youre Avoiding: And 4 Ways to Face Them Head On by Ingrid Y Helander
Six life areas you're avoiding, and for ways to face them head on by Ingrid Y Hollander of Ingrid why Hallander Ellum T. dot com? You might call avoidance being lazy unmotivated, depressed freaked out or disliking conflict. But if you are human, you probably know the warning signs when you start avoiding avoiding can become a way of life. If you're not careful robbing you of time relationship money fun and other pleasures here are few target areas and examples of voidance that I see in my office every day. Work Life. You're successful career requires consistent task completion, and suddenly you are online shopping. Crazy. Physical Health. There are two wasteful hours before you get ready for work and rather than going to the gym you roll over and go back to sleep. Relationship. Small disagreement happens and use sullenly walk away from your partner. Social. A friend's invitation weights in your inbox and you tell yourself you'll think about whether to attend or not later. Spiritual Your Yoga, Mat and journal sit in the corner and you daily pass them by. And? Financial. Six bills said in your mail pile. He said Masai knowing that a simple check could pay them tomorrow. Sound familiar. What's happening when you avoid and what can you do about it? Avoiding is seldom a fully conscious choice. Elizabeth Scott s explains this frustrating tendency. This way quote avoidance coping also known as Avoidance Coping Avoidance Behaviors and escape coping is a maladaptive form of coping that involves changing our behavior to try to avoid thinking or feeling things that are uncomfortable and quote. Basically avoidance is bitch will coping skill aimed at reducing pain that is reinforced each time you do it. Sadly. The more you avoid the parts of your life that feel uncomfortable. The more shame you're likely to feel about those parts of your life to shame intern causes more discomfort and hence more avoidance. If you tend to worry in are easily overwhelmed, it can be significantly difficult to simply face tasks and situations and do the thing before you is not your fault and is not a joking matter. Just do it is a great model for selling shoes, but it's not so easy for anxious people to implement. So. What can you do today to head on face those things in life you tend to avoid and do so without crumbling in a corner later Here four ways to face her avoidance had on. Now and very gently. Number one acknowledge avoidance without beating yourself up. So. Yes. Maybe you don't WanNa talk to your loved one about a particular topic. Perhaps you have not exercised or prayed or meditated in many moons maybe the bills are on the back burner your friends wonder if you don't like them anymore, this happens to the very best of people simply acknowledging own that part of you is avoiding with as much compassion for your human self as possible if you get very upset with yourself or anyone else in this process, stop breathe and offer yourself at least one moment of compassion. Number. To write down everything you imagine you'd like to do if you weren't avoiding. Off of the suggestion for a few reasons, some people feel like they are lazy or. When in reality, they're getting nearly everything done in fine fashion for people who are highly driven or perfectionist, but don't own this about themselves. One way of keeping on task is constantly telling yourself that you are avoiding things for others. There's so much shame beneath the surface. This exercise can help you get a glimpse of hidden pain and allow this part of you to be seen by you. Then you can access more help with a therapist to get feeling better. And finally you may just be so accustomed to avoiding that imagining moving forward in a more confident manner is a wild new concept if soul be much easier to move toward the picture that you create in your mind's eye using all of your senses so play using your imagination. For example, in my fantasy world i. Any bill, write a check and send it off. Take my wife's hand and talk it through when I feel stressed wake after eight hours of sleep hop in my Wesson and head to the gym. Just play with it. The purpose is not to make you feel guilty. This is an exercise to increase your creativity and curiosity. Let your body and mind enjoy the play and possibility of doing everything in a way you would like to do it. You may feel inspired ready to embody what you imagine or maybe the thoughts feel to threatening and cause increased. Shame. Conversely, you discover that you are in reality facing a large portion of life, but you habitually use the mantra that you are avoiding. Just notice and write down. Will you discover? Number three start with a small change in the easiest of the six targets. See found some area of avoidance and you can see how you'd like the situation to feel different. Great. Begin by choosing from your list of avoidance is just one little action. You can take thou fuel really terrific or at least good when it's done, make it one with just enough challenge to pursue but not so much challenge that it is emotionally overwhelming for you. You really want to succeed on the smaller items here. So feel free to break any task down into a smaller portion. Maybe, spend one minute meditating this week rather than entire yoga or meditation session. Perhaps, he do fifty push-ups before work. Instead of going to the gym, you could write your partner, a letter of appreciation or reply to a couple of work emails.