Big Book Podcast


Who is convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. But not this man. I was the oldest of three children and my father was an alcoholic. One of the earliest memories that I have is of a bottle sitting on his desk with skull and crossbones and marked poison. At that time as I remember he had promised never to take another drink. Of course he did I can also remember that he was a salesman and a very good one. When he was uptown, we were living in the little town of Moscow. I went up to try to get some money from him to buy groceries. He wouldn't give me any money for the groceries, but he did take me across the street and buy me a bag of candy which I later took back traded for a loaf of bread. I was not more than six at that time. My father died in nineteen. Oh One when I was eight years old and I was in the second or third grade school. I immediately quit school and went to work and from that time until I was high school age, there was never a return to school. I always built up in my own mind. The great things that I was going to do, and in fact, I accomplished about fifty percent of them and then lost interest. That continued through my entire life. When I was sixteen years old my mother remarried and I was given the opportunity of going back to school. I went into the high school grades but having missed all the intermediate grades I didn't get along too well. So I developed the habit of going back to school just long enough for the football season and then quitting. There was always a tremendous drive and ambition to become a great guy because I think I recognized inwardly that I didn't have any special talents. At a comparatively early age I can remember being jealous of my brother. He did things much better than I did because he applied himself and learned how to do them and I never applied myself. Whether I could have done as well as he I don't know. I was married at the age of nineteen to a grand girl and had good business prospects. I had bought a piece of ground in Cuyahoga falls and cut it into lots and had a profit of approximately forty thousand dollars and that was a lot of money in those days. With that profit I built a number of houses, but then I neglected them. I wouldn't put sufficient time on them. Consequently, my labor bills ran up I. Lost Money and then just fool the way a large part of that profit. When I was eighteen at the end of high school, the High School team had a banquet at a well known roadhouse outside of Akron. We boys drove out in somebody's car and went to the bar on the way to the dining room and I in an effort to impress the other boys that I was city bread having lived in Scranton and Cleveland asked them. If they didn't want to drink, they looked at one another quarterly and finally one of them allowed he'd have a beer and they all followed him each of them saying he'd have a beer too. I ordered Martini extra dry. I didn't even know what a Martini looked like but I had heard a man down the bar order one. That was my first drink. I kept watching the man down the bar to see what he did with a contraption like that and he just smelled up his drink and set it down again. So I did the same. He took a couple of puffs of the cigarette and I took a couple of puffs on my cigarette. He tossed off half of his Martini I tossed off half a mind and nearly blew the top of my head off it. Irritated. My nostrils I choked I didn't like it. There was nothing about that drink that I liked but I watched him any tossed off the rest of his. So I tossed off the rest of mine he ate his olive and I ate mine I didn't even like the olive it was repulsive to me from every standpoint I drank nine Martinis in less than an hour. Twenty. Two years later Dr Bob told me that what I had done was like switch and setting up a demand for more alcohol in my system. I didn't know that then I had no more reason to drink those. Martinez than a Jack Rabbit. At that particular time the boys put me on a shudder and took me out to the shed and I lay in the car while they enjoyed their banquet. That was the first time. I. Ever Drank hard liquor. Blackout. Drinking. At once.

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