How to Cope with Relationship Challenges During COVID: A Conversation with Esther Perel
Hello welcome welcome. Welcome to another of be well together. This is a very special interpersonal addition. We are going to dive in deep on relationships which has definitely been very very top of mind for me through all of this. Just maintaining them making sure they're quality driven in a two dimensional versus the three dimensional world. Trying to figure out where and who needs my support the most managing the whole work life relationship things. Th- really pretty infinite. And so today. We're very thankful and grateful that we have esther parral joining us. She is truly one of the most insightful people in the world when it comes to the complexity and dynamics of relationships esther is a psychotherapist in an international in new york times best selling author and speaker her ted talks have over twenty million views and sheahomes therapy practice in new york city and she also serves as a consultant for fortune. Five hundred companies all around the world so it is a great joy to have you with us. Here today esther. Welcome to be well together. I think our goal today is to hear a little bit from you about discovering key relationship touch points and transitions and negotiations all those types of things and then afterwards we'll take some questions and answers we have kathy detroit joining us today. Catherine bowen is off welcoming a new puppy into her life and getting some work life balance and happy. You could join us today. Kathy as well so with that esther i will turn it over to you next for a moment into what is going on with relationships at this moment because it is a massive overhaul as it is. I would say that we all come to work with an official resume which is our cv an unofficial wasted me. Which is our relationship history. It is the messages and the stories. The belief systems that were handed down to us in our family. Our culture our community our economic and religious groups and date shape our expectations of relationships. They also in particular. We shape how we are going to go. In times of disasters pandemics prolonged uncertainty as we are about to enter now these unofficial resumes liked to them are primarily geared toward a few major dimensions of relationship essential for civil relationship to be central. Do you rely on them. Do you turn to people for help. Do you think about others when you think about yourselves or android merrily race for autonomy which means that you have been talked to stand on your own two feet to trust yourself more than others to rely on yourself. This dynamic between autonomy versus interdependence is probably one of the more important than marketers of how we approach a relation life and how we approach in times of stress which is one of the ways we can define this moment we are experiencing this collectively. It is a time of uncertainty end. I would even say unknown. We talk about going back. We don't know exactly to what we don't always leave even one to go back to what was and we certainly are faced with this kind of threats that this often been on for a while. Invisible indeed hits and then suddenly we were at the mercy of kissing to specific things around profits. One is what does it mean to leave with acute stress and prolonged uncertainty and to what are the new relationship challenges and opportunities that are created. Many of us have become basically touch. Henry retired touching our screens and we would love to be able to touch our loved ones. Some of us are living separated from them. We are either alone or in different countries or were living with a healthcare worker who are trying to remain physically distant from we as parents that we can go visit. We have sick noth- one school. We can't go and comfort. They are enormous. And shoot stresses from being too far carts and for others for being too close together because we sing leading for people in a tiny flat without the possibility of going out. It's almost a joke to say that we are working from home at Distributed much more accurate to say that we are working with poll and working with home means that we are at the same time at the same place like me here at this table. It is my kitchen table. I am a mother here. i am a ceo. I m psychotherapist. I am a podcast for wishing we begin and how many of you may know i supervise. Mike therapy study. I oversee on a weekly basis.