Mini-Ep 169: Let It Grow



So if you can't if you can't get enough of us gambling away who can who cannot get enough of this. Go hang out with your. Were their fellow forever. Thirty five listeners. I should just clarify that for thirty five. Twitter account was not what was problematic for my anxiety. It was just everything else about twitter. So that's oh of course area mail. Yeah don't wait to hear you totally. Have you been able to do anything today. That engages in taking care of yourself. Like i'm i'm having a cup of tea and i started organizing my google drive than that that to me is like. That's the limit of myself care today. Okay you know what. I did do today so okay. I'm gonna back up a little bit too to api yet. Okay so one of the presence. I got for matt like his big quote unquote. Christmas present was a solo stove. Which if you're not familiar is basically a fire pit but there they create much less smoke so you don't you don't like sit there getting all smokey and a really good at conducting heat. They're pretty cool so i got it for him. It sat in a box a couple of weeks and then he finally cleared area at the end of our driveway where we could set it up. We brought these two chairs out and the other night live. Fire was really nice. La la anyway. Today this afternoon. I was one of those days where i was like. Oh i haven't been outside today I should do something about that. So i went outside and i sat in a chair and did the crossword for like twenty minutes. That sounds great. I thought your a fired. I was like no. I did not light a fire partly because the dog was outside. Henry was outside. Just didn't seem prudent. The cross the crawford seem prudent. That will heal you. Yeah it was nice to just be outside. And then i came in to my office and i open the windows which i never do recep. Reason don't know why but Yeah so that was nice just kind of getting some air so i think that was my my attempt at self care today. What about you. I mean it's just t and google drive for me. I woke up at five. Am due to. What i believe is jail from relative. I'm sorry to laugh. It's okay my husband was like. I got the dial it rang. I had my apple watch on my wrist so buzzed me awake. And then as i was trying to drift off to sleep at like five twenty my husband's alarm went off because he it's work and so i was just like and then of course like he got up in the bed was like cre- cre- creek like it was just like there's no there's no point he's going to be taking a shower like lumbering about. Even though he's trying by it you know how it is to try to be quiet. But you can't be quiet. First thing in the morning opening or so. I i just rose but i'm i'm feeling a little tired so i just had. I'm having a cup of jasmine green tea. I'm i'm organizing. May google drive because it's a mess. I've never put anything into files. And i'm just kind of you know i asked because you know we got this taxed and have asking how it was really sweet. They said my first. Text the pod and it feels like i'm just texting checking up on some friends currently processing what has happened in the capital and would love to hear you all reflect process in your next episode even if briefly a feel heartbroken for our country and of trying to reflect but no word satisfy twenty twenty kicked us in the gut and i'm struggling to be hopeful. How are you processing and coping. And so so. That was on my mind. And i i'm just trying to take things real low stakes these days in terms of like my what i'm doing and so that's why i was like well. The google drive deals manageable. I don't feel like i can actually be to productive in my work endeavors but google drive and like heating up chicken nuggets for everybody to eat. Thank can handle that. Ooh yum delicious. I know you're erin. But i'm happy for the chicken nugget industry that you still are affairs. I mean it's like it's a classic comfort food. You can get a pretty solid vegetarian. Chicken nuggets you can. It's true it's true. That i i feel like i've had like the think boca make some good vache nuggets. Yeah any hoots solicitor. Thanks for checking in on us. I think we like we share your heartbreak and are reflecting and I mean yeah. We're were along. Were right there with you. Yeah it's just all so much to process. I've been at been like forcing myself to read the kind of like the tick tock of what happened like literally on tiktok. No sorry figures. A journalist journalists speak for like the like you say the tick tock of what happened of like minute by minute of like what happened. Yeah the time line. And it's like so upsetting subsidy. Nick came on the heels of what was a really like celebratory Thing that happened in georgia. Yes four knocking off. Both both winning their senate seats. That was incredible yes. I'm also feeling resentment that this took away from that victory. I mean. I feel like i haven't you know we're recording this five days after it happened. it by the time in arizona will be over a week s since it happened. I feel like i still haven't fully processed it. I mean just the imagery really hard to keep seeing over and over again the confederate flag in the capital the all the people wearing all these like horrible antisemitic holocaust t shirts. Yeah i just having to relive that over and over again is a lot so sometimes. I'm like you know like i said i i four. I forced myself to read the talks. But there are times when i just can't see these images again. I think that's yeah. I think that's okay. You don't have to keep seeing them at all now over where over at my house. It's been a little tricky because my kids caught on to what happened. And then they got really scared. And so that has been. Because i'm also scared. And i don't know i'm trying to Portray like calm. But i don't so. Listen i don't know so that's Experiencing a experiencing as humans and americans and fucked up in. I i'm I mean i don't know. White supremacy is alive and well

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