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The secrets we keep


He's a bit of a list of the kinds of secrets. Jillian his the most a shame about some floor that the person imagines that they actually have because we keep secrets from ourselves. As well you me so infidelity is a common one feeling anim-. Pasta is often a secret that people have men and women like sort of stereotypes too much. But let's just indulge for the moment in the stereotype. I think men very often have the impostor syndrome that they performing as OPEC inside the field theory small or not competent and they have to keep that a secret from everybody in the workplace women. Mark of the NEF secrets about their anxieties about attractiveness or they might keep secrets about that. They're not quite tuned on the partners. The bottom I think they are also secrets about history that people not being sexually abused as children and it's interesting that the shame comes to rest with the victim often and not the perpetrator and they can be very anxious about that and the reasons because if they disclose it often they become defined by other people as the victim of sexual abuse and the complexity of you that are lost. Mental illness in the family is often hidden. So if these relative. That's Paolo who somebody has committed suicide. These often very very unfortunately and sadly and that's changing somewhat but the a lot of secrets around that as well Jill. I'm thinking about things I haven't disclosed to people like my partner and I don't know if it's fear of the consequences so much as just not wanting to talk about it. Can sometimes it just be private? I definitely believe that we need privacy. Because that's what we all made so that people can treat thoughts. We are definitely entitled to have our own inner subjectivity and earn in a lives. I would ask if you were in the rooms with me. Is the particular reason why you would prefer not to talk if you naturally introverted. That's fine but I think in the therapy space probes. Bit Foods are in circa. Was it important to you not to talk? What does it give you not talk? And it may indeed. You're not to talk that you don't have to feel everything has to be in the sheet space. And what would happen if you did talk because I think with social media we all having Leeson Leeson lease province face so DEB's opposite space from your partner fields to me a positive to what about the secrets that we keep from ourselves where we mytalk from ourselves for example that we angry people we might hard from ourselves that while we say that we are passionate about climate change we don't actually stopped going on Earth. Z's holiday in the plane that's putting a lot of emissions into the air we can't SOCI- eight from that bit in order to protect ourselves. Have you been looking at my passport? I know you be up in looking at my own. Always use the exhaust until said. I'm guilty so secrets aren't just about holding. In the fact that you know your best friend had an affair or that you have a Chinese character tattooed on your ass cheeks. Those are the things that you don't necessarily wanNA share with everyone but secrets ulcer. Include stuff that we're keeping from ourselves it's what therapists coal cognitive dissonance. Basically where you think one thing but do another like people who say. I'm really into healthy living while drinking two bottles of wine. It's not being honest with yourself but let's get back to secrets because they had tasty right and even sitting he now. I'm realizing that I have a few secrets of my own. That are buried so deep. It's actually like they've almost disappeared. Researches from Columbia University in the states have a website called keeping secrets dot org which has worked out the top. Thirty eight secrets people normally keep and they're not all negative. They include the secret people. Keep when they're planning to propose marriage and secret work envisions high up on the list. Is Secrecy about finances but predictably some of the most common secrets people keep About

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