A highlight from Death of a Parent

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Good morning good afternoon. Good evening wherever you find yourself in this entire world. I welcome you. So how are you my friend my warrior. I certainly hope this day finds you. Well the one thing that most of us will endure. Unless of course we ourselves sti- i will be tap of a parent or parents now whether we were an infant child teen young adult or older adult. Losing a parent is a right of passage. It is something that can happen at any point in our life yet. It is not something that we are prepared for. If our parents death was very sudden regardless of how old we were when they died it will come as a severe shock to us. If our parents death was due to illness perhaps a long term illness. We may have thought that we were prepared for it but when it actually happens. There's a good chance that we're surprised. It happened when it did. And how we feel when they actually do pass away if their death comes when we were young we will deal with it in a completely different manner than if it came when we were in our forties fifty six caesar even beyond when we are young. We rarely think that our parents will be taken from us at that stage in life but many children teens and young adults lose their parents early in life and it is extremely difficult to go through that grieving process. It's one niche shapes our entire life when we lose our parents or parents when we are full adult with a career and are financially independent. It is a different type of mourning process. And today i'd like to concentrate on. How dulce grieved the death of their parent or parents. When one or both of our parents leave us we may feel a sense of abandonment. Panic despair overwhelming anxiety and many other feelings. We do not feel prepared for this. No better when they leave us or how they leave us. We might live right next door or have had to put them in a nursing home or other nursing facility we may live states away or even countries away we may have taken care of them at the end of their life over a few months or several years we might have been deeply involved in their care at the end of their life and now that they have died. We feel an emptiness because the part of us no longer has that purpose. What do we do with our time now. The time we devoted to them on a daily basis some of us may have thought that this was a great burden when it was occurring because it took so much time away from our own hobbies and activities as well as our personal family time with our wife or husband our own children and their desire to have more of our time but now we have our time back and much time to grieve when we lose our parents. There are many times when we get the impression that we don't have the right to grave because this is a natural way of life and we should just be grateful for the time we had with them but we have every right to grieve the death of our parent or parents because they were the pillar of our family. It was they who made everything work in our life. They fed us and bathed us and clothed us and me chore. We went to school and learned what needed to be learned. They taught us the life lessons. That made us the people we are today but many people in society tend to make this loss less than it is. And i want you to know that you have every right to feel all the feelings that you feel when your parents die regardless of how old you are. When they passed on now you may have been told some very wacky statements from your friends and family after your parents died. Perhaps something like you must be so grateful that they're not suffering any more. Your mother just couldn't live without your father that's why she died so quickly after him. At least the two of them are together. Now your mom and dad had a great life a full life and somehow are these statements are supposed to make you feel better but they don't instead. Your pain is exceptionally will and he can be devastating. Your sorrow can be deep and debilitating and how you grieve also depends on the relationship. You had with your parent or parents. It may have been exceptionally good and it may have been exceptionally poor. Only you know the relationship you had and how it affected you over your lifetime. Now we're not here to sugar coat. The fact that you might have had a terrible relationship with one or both of your parents. There may be feelings of guilt for what you did or didn't do to help them during their lifetime or at the end of their life. There may be anger at what they did and didn't do to help you during your lifetime. There may be regrets that you have about how you handle various aspects of your own relationship over time but the truth is that at this stage. None of that matters anymore. Because there's nothing that you can do to redo refer x. revisit those moments instead you need to learn how to forgive yourself yes forgive yourself you did the best you could at the time and you may decisions based on all the responsibilities that you are dealing with in your own life at that time and so i recommend writing a letter to your parent or parents who have passed on right everything in that letter that you need to say about what happened in the past and ask for their forgiveness for those things you're not able to do them and additionally tell them that you forgive them for the things that they did not follow through with concerning you during your upbringing take those letters and bring them to the cemetery and buried them underneath the grass. If they were cremated and their ashes were scattered somewhere. Then take those letters. Tear them up in tiny pieces and scattered them

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