The Difference Between Fierce and Tender Self-Compassion With Author Kristin Neff


Kristin neff. Thanks for coming back on the show. Thanks for having me dallas. Love talking with you. Yes you are. One of my favorite guests in your work has had a significant impact on me. So it's great. Have you back on the show. So let's talk definition for a second. What is the difference in your mind between fierce self compassion and tender self compassion self compassion. Has i call it. A yin a yang aspect right. So there's a way in which self compassion just allows us to accept ourselves with kindness and warmth. It's more of a gentle nurturing energy. The type of energy apparent might have for their child who in the can screaming their head off but apparent loves that child unconditionally. Accept some as they are. and so. that's part of self compassion wheat heavily. Hold ourselves. we hold our pay more nurturing. More warmer understanding but compassion in the broader sense is about alleviating suffering right that really defines what compassion is concerned with alleviating suffering. And although we may need to accept our cells sometimes. We don't want to accept our behaviors or we don't want to accept a situation we're in that's causing harm and that's where fear self compassion comes in fear. Self compassion is the action oriented side of compassion as opposed to just accepting side we ourselves. Hey this this behavior. Doing it's not working for you. You know you need to change it because it's causing you harm or it might be. Hey i want to encourage you to try this new thing or to reach your goals or motivate change. Because i care about you. And i want you to be happy or in terms of situations it might be a kind of like call mama bear self compassion right that protective side of self compassion and says hey you crossing boundaries is not okay. What you're doing. You're treating me unfairly. So for example. I see the black lives matter. Movement served the metoo movement as self compact fear self compassion movements as people. Rise up. Feel empowered to say. Hey that's not okay. You're harming me so a lot of it is where the compassion is aimed and we need both in order to be healthy and whole.

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