What Dead Historical Women Can Teach Us About Dating and Sex


For a long time i rode a sex dating column for the the new york post and i really appreciate that time in my life but since then i started writing about history and politics and every so often often someone comes to me and says would you ever consider writing a dating advice book and i always say the only way i would ever do that is if all of the advice is came from dead historical women and most of it was bad do you say as a joke yes always and then i said it to this one very nice editor on the phone who said well i'd love for you to do that can you can you get it in by june and i said yes and it was the easiest book sale i've ever made shots jets incredible i was gonna say did you sort of like say on to channel these women and because it's all of the advice sound so much in their voice it's just it's so good i'm i've always wished that somehow that would happen to me robert graves deflected criticism of his i claudius novels by telling a reporter that the entire manuscript had been dictated to him by emperor claudius himself in a dream so we don't want to start with that's a real humble brag it's a real humble brag of london emperor came to me and just story so no critiques please no none of none of these women came to munich dream cream i do read a lot of different books about them and took the cool historical tidbits that i found those books that i thought could be transcribed into good good advice for women right now what i really loved how in the insure you talk about how there's always some idiot on twitter that's like oh i wish women were women the way they used to be back in the day and like this book just kind of disproves that whole line of thought that is based on many real only no i'm i i have a twitter account i am yeah i'm familiar with dot com yeah and this totally disproves that way of thinking because women's since the beginning of time have kind and not been that ideal idea woman i think the more things change the more they stay the same and a lot of women in this book are doing things thanks i think we'd be considered very audacious by modern standards i'm kind of fascinated by grace kelly's end of a first date move where she would go into my i room of this and come up with no clothes and that's the way a lot of nudity so nudity in the book i'm also that's something that i really don't associate with grace as kelly in any of her alfred hitchcock movies now i love that and so you use that tibet to have her advice be make your feelings no yes she's real clear a lot of not scared to tell someone how they feel and then a yeah and then you write about how she'd be like go make some coffee and then go into the bathroom and come out naked i was like oh that is insane that that is actually what she did and i love that it's memorable also really feel like a man in the nineteen fifties and sixties when she was doing this probably just think they were making can coffee so let's talk about some more of the advice in the book patra that is the advice for making the first move what can we learn from her on making the first move cleopatra made i moves of really big and she really began her relationships with this very showy entrance entrance a lot of the mist and the stories about cleopatra hinge upon the idea that she was this ravishing beauty and she was us an attractive lady and they're all different ways of being beautiful but by any standards she wasn't especially good looking she was just really audacious basis and she really went for it and when she first met julius caesar she header self smuggled to him inside a federal that was dropped off at his feet feet and then lays blade before whose feet talking about how they could afford to an alliance which is not a thing that you might be able to recreate oh yeah like not necessarily you didn't like UPS to your lover a little desperate if we'd be really audacious lake uh-huh and then when she met mark anthony she had herself taken to him on a golden barge where she designed it to look like she was a goddess and she appeared to him if she was a golden goddess so cleopatra really thought about how she was going to plan her first move oof and i think it an age where a lot of us are very timid and wanna seem cool and have a call me maybe attitude approaching people cleopatra went for it like she went one hundred percent i honestly can kind of relate this particularly i'm on the part on the barge where she's the gold god it kinda can because so nicknamed gone on a first date and then i invited him to my holiday party and my holiday party i was like the star of the show like i i was going around with platters appetizers and like jello shots because this was like whatever like two thousand nine not the shots wherever cool but as i'm going around with platters never like laura oh my god like laura laura and i'm like the star of the show and i kinda take her advice to mean you know just be like the starve make yourself an unmistakable store yes staple star like have the attention be around you and it was like all my friends and it was like my house you know like i was the star of my holiday party and walked around like own my own the place grid right and i want to form an alliance that woman yeah i think that's actually a great way to translate that into modern day advice i feel like throwing party and inviting boys who have a crush on was also so big move i was single gal it usually worked really well unless the person didn't come in which case it felt like you were throwing that party for nine uh all these people are in my house i've got so many shots yeah i've been to your parties and you do throw a very good thank you i'm so you also have a section on slut shaming can you choose to feature josephine baker and that little micro in every possible way hero of the civil rights movement hero of the lost generation yet josephine baker is just the best and if you don't know her by name you definitely know her by image she's the one that has the banana skirt so oh you're right i'm writing in her voice say i'm writing as someone who danced topless and a banana skirt so why her for the slut shaming section i feel like josephine josephine baker is someone who had to go up against a lot of repressive rules of the time and i mean to head to leave america because she couldn't really prosper in america's a black woman and she was someone who i wouldn't say that she had no regard for those rules but she he was able to think about societal rules that served her and once it didn't and follow her own contents and her own desires and mm-hmm she strongly felt and i think many modern day women should strongly feel that her sexuality and her physical desires were nothing to be ashamed of she had a very large sexual appetite she loved having sex with people she had multiple marriages adopted a ton of children those desires did not impede her life in any way indeed the fact that she was comfortable in her body and comfortable with her sexuality is how she she became a great star and it was also because she chose to change her circumstances right by going to harris yeah we actually just did an episode on on if you should move if you you should mirror for data and just for a change of scenery if you're like in a funk also tried to come back to america and change everybody else's circumstances stances andrea four really hard for that i mean you can't obviously say that any one person was responsible for civil rights victories but she had a really huge detained in that

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