"Welcome. Hi thank you sound really like looking for is this conversation. You're so sexy sex and leadership coach as well as slogger writer so I just was telling me research recording. I stopped in there so much on that. I just want to talk about one of the things that I was really drawn to was changing your sexual stories. Talk to us about that. Yeah so they get ineffectual. Joel story depending on our upbringing. A lot of time a lot of what has been given to us is based off of our cultural upbringing. Our religion I events that onto is a social upbringing our friends and oftentimes eaten with because her sexual violence out there for Sally There is so many different messages that were getting and were often put into the box in not boss our taxes for men in our partner our pleasures or is just for reproducing ends how there's lashing on disconnect and we're often able to embrace our meets Pleasure as I as women. We have an organ specifically for pleasure only other and I wasn't taught at and then I experienced sexual trauma and from that I really just have to for my sexuality alley. I did not feel safe. My Body's not feel safe wines associations view and so I think what happens and is were often just like this. This is where I say this is why I am. It's supposed to be house to act councils show up and that is just for this over here and so I like to power to women that I work with that they can choose. What and actually their story Roy Moore has not they can shoes on? This was given to Niba. That doesn't feel right for me. So I'm going to change that internal powering story and they can shoes. I can recycle into you. Reclaiming my pleasure for myself and I can note. That feels I and I and I don't have to do away. My allergy away my special energy that I can just one hundred percent on that for me and that's really we in powering remains you yeah. I immediately connect with your words about the empowerment part of it because we'll one from it. Shot from a trauma survivor. Points of. There's just something beautiful and so very powerful about uh-huh owning this part of us. That was violated. This part of it is taken from us or controlled by someone else Just incredibly power. Yeah and just in from China's survivor perspective as well pleasure is very soothing for our nervous zones uh-huh so that's something that I teach all the time that even if they're in a situation where they feel about over longer fighting house are they just you you know. Having a off the interns pleasure. I rub her arms rubbing their fingers through their hair. I'm constantly rubbing my legs in help bringing back into my body ground into pleasure you good not just factual leisure. It's simple pleasure hazard. You can do any time of day when you need to hire a resource into your body and a few good again. Yeah I again I take off. aww sensual sexual pleasures that tickling the arms and just it is very soothing in grounding in bringing you back right into the now outright here now yeah absolutely yeah and you know he got into your sexual energy or sexual. Pleasure is the most potent life force energy than having your body so I learned to use that for my healing for me to move through suck energies. That had locked down in my throat. My the place where I don't feel alive down repression voice for not doing Out what happened to me not feeling you know safe enough to express in so I feel energy. Actually diagnosed with Hashi Meadows does to out nine years ago. So you know energy Is manifested in the physical things and so I'm constantly using my average from ice actualities helps to move through energy mike in so you can learn a healing modality until I started going to this domain and the hanes saw how empowering for me to basically heal myself with my own body. Yeah I mean you are totally intriguing me here and I'm estimated by it because I will one I love learning new healing. Modalities raise that we can just have into that in the whole Energy concept is very appealing to me. Because I truly think that more and more of us are learning to tap into one wing others energies and read something that you wrote or something maybe on your website about being able to then on her her whether you want to allow energy to connect with another person or if you if you don't feel safe right now oh yeah that's why I'm going up to it and you'll get high to present be been so train US living in the sexual domain to give away our energy give away our pleasure. It is for your partner is not for you when you re reclaim domain for yourself and of course it had a lot of conversations with my hard earned an area for ten years this year. So He's been on injuring with me me and he regrets his on energy so I wasn't responsible for his. I was responsible for his. You know on our orgasm than anything. He reclaimed after him. I was really clean it for me. We're Thal her jeans inner sexuality that shoes shoes should come together to share a signature moment. And it's no longer like a taking or giving situation Iranian integrator now becomes a beautiful and I didn't know to be like US models and he talked to me and that's probably the majority people that are listening not known in our society for it. You no right well certainly not. What sold to us? So yeah yeah very powerful really is I think being your own sexual auburn being is so powerful and I have a daughter she's eight. We're not quite there yet. But that is absolutely even now. You know we don't have any shame around body or if she touches her souring Shane. Okay cool right feel good my yeah and weight. She's older in really starting to feel with the hormones in it will be trying to get her to be her on sovereign sexual south. She's not trying to go see what it is other people not doesn't feel really like Honoring for her right right so it goes back to the same thing. As you you have to know your body the in all aspects and it's just an honoring of a part of you that we most disconnect from right right absolutely and because it's so used to sell sell things in it's so put put out there but yet it's taboo just seems just seems odd in so many ways. Yeah well also. I think the Sisterhood Culture. I think there's a lot of dynamics to that Our sexuality in his insolvent then also women have appendage women for so often and has has a lot of women have in religious upbringing as some sort of you. All religions basically have an ashamed actor Ridge Horseshoe casuality and wooden and so they have that dynamic only like a passes down so from their mother her grandmother that and then it's women You do have somebody that is totally raising feminity. Under sensuality their sexuality owning it they're being shamed are usually in first Culture at school because I know and so then from there. We disconnect like Ogun State Assan. Okay I I can't be like that so they're like no. They just connect outweigh or so many of us have experienced experienced some sort of sexual assault or trauma. And that's absolutely enemy disconnecting for us. Yes absolutely and I think that's. That's the one in four girls Women's boys numbers are sadly staggering in. What a huge impact that has asks right sexuality out to any of Mr facts that you would like to clarify for listeners? I think one minute is that sexuality is not safe. I think as being intersectional not safe. Why just ever I the so fearful fearful about going into this domain? I was like if I embrace my sexuality. What is not going to need that any not like every single man is gonNA flock? Talk to me. I don't want that. I don't want that attention. I don't like you know initial safe. I had embraced my own safety within that point. And that's what I hear often in from women is like Ou know I can't I can't embrace so government is not safe. Why discovers for myself is when I reclaimed his energy for myself is actually made me stronger more rounded more secure that people I do they noticed? Just try hi energy. That man or person is extremely secure and who they are as a being like perpetrators are not opt to have near me his they know they can sense my energy like ooh. That's not now and so. I actually feel more secure in rounded because and so I think that the I never I I never together because we talked a lot about S- with talking with speeches on the podcast and I say but the whole Predator thing is that there I believe there are just drawn to vulnerability or drawn that energy. The teenager in my twenties did I haven't had a two of my head like why is this happening over and over again but it was this just the energy that I was giving off and then as I became more empowered along Union Jerry. Didn't I don't have that same fear anymore. Yeah Yeah me too. I mean I have been stocks followed home from work and multiple double times. It wasn't just a one occasion multiple times and I'm like what the hat on top of. You know being sexually assaulted so okay. Why is this? I was extremely vulnerable. I was traumatized little girl from all the things that experience my energy was very vulnerable. Very Low vibrational energy even though I try to portray that was off bad ass. Woman like Giggle could always succeed through the end. So now it's like. Oh Yeah I can turn on my energy for like magnetism sort of way. I don't use it to manipulate. Ah Very conscious Obviously Nebula way into later on in the area that I'm like yeah just want light radiating being who I am as a and then there's times where I'm like. I'm good like sensors in a penalty. He early myself today. Alan radiating big Mac Line to love it. It is like your is. Your power is as your power that you have control over. And so that's I think that's important. Yes wonderful thank you uninjured one thing I wanNA say is one. I just went to honor your story and your history and say You know just just what's the word I'm looking for it so popped Outta. My head is a proud. That sounds like a mom would just Yeah I just think it's so incredible. What you what you've done to take your story your own personal story of trauma inserted into into turn it into Empowerment it's not only for yourself but to help others to help other women along this journey so I do. That was what I was looking for. Kudos thank you yeah. It definitely wasn't something that I was thinking of. I was on my own healing journey for myself and then it was I. I came into this fight within myself. I have to be able to share this with other women that it is really needed. My voice as needed I guess or needed. I had the ability to do that. And so I I completely changed directions with my career and came into this past honoring. Just honoring the door opening for me. Any choosing to walk through. Not Knowing is which is scary but exciting exciting at the same time so absolutely absolutely you share any of your personal story at all. Yeah so I didn't. It realized I can look back now because I know so much trauma trauma informed coach in so I can look back now in. See my little girl and be like how did not know how traumatized she was. I was very Starting at age ten or eleven. I was In lockdown facility h while for Suicide Asians I was on antidepressants insomnia medication around his entire. Hi and no therapist that I worked with actually address trauma and then at team I was raised by a boyfriend as I was trying to break up with him. That was his last power struggle with me. He's very mentally manipulative. Really broke me down to build myself up and surprisingly I graduated from high school I went on in Hema registered nurse. Only child my family you graduate from college and from there I realized Madison and so became a entrepreneur paracels Madison and a drew my entrepreneurial journey. I realized how much my Charles in hockey Impacting need food. Julio I guess out there to be seen to lower my voice heard to really embrace my presence of who I was as individual. There's a woman as a leader and that's when I realize myself trauma that into I was the sexual trauma and and healing that so much like I was like all because era animal there I am and my the relationship suffered constantly contracting my pain onto my partner athlete. He was a patient kind was never a rule book or unit guideline on how to use a partner has trauma right now in so we fear not at all and through I. Ah Now it's on now. I'm still hewing. You know all the other parts of myself with with you know various really messy the divorce abandonment issues regather get he hit by hard almost dying.."