Do Not Diminish Your Light


So i wanna frame up this podcast with a couple of things so so one of the things that we're doing in this podcast frame up and i said podcast not just this podcast but our whole podcast is is to put on display okay so to speak where we're at to show what our life is like and how we feel about it what our feelings are sometimes in the past asked. We've dug into a lot of this shitty times right. <hes> and i just want to make this. This is a a an adjustment or a clarification that the focus is on you know where we're at right now however feeling and to show you to put our life as this is the journey we took took and we are taking currently and our continued to take yes and so i i'm i'm saying i don't wanna dwell as much in the past because more and more people who are coming to us. We've really expanded our counseling and coaching. It's been really fun. Exciting a lot of people i've noticed one dwell on the past about how shitty their life is and how their shitty their life has been <hes> and one of the first things i do is reorient you towards the possibilities in to the paradise to the future and because there's these negative thought loops that get people get on and they seem to dwell in them seem to do well i used to do that. I used to run rails in my head so lewis shitty past gives you permission to have shitty present which would indicate that you actually don't want a good president if you want to dwell on the past and and create shitty president yeah so i'm interested in illuminating this state of light and joy and then giving people hope to get there and show them how to if they want to come to counseling coaching events or just listen to the podcast yup i got a frown in there was a general all around yeah. That's what i have to deal with so my pleasant place where i am right now is i'm feeling pretty down. 'cause my girlfriend girlfriend frowned at me. She's my wife anyway. How are you feeling so. Let's start right there jenny. How are you feeling right now. Where are you at. Where am i well. Philip k feeling a little stressed while stress because we we have our marriage and <unk> shades of intimacy coming up next weekend september sixth seventh and eighth so just doing a lot of prep mentally physically xactly energetically for that event which is both a incredibly exciting. I'm like this morning. I woke up. I just my eyes popped open open and i was excited and then you go through the waves of holy shit. There's so much to do and then pop back out and you get really excited again and then you're like. I've got this great idea. Pop back out and you're like oh my god so i think people can relate right. I mean this is where we're at and navigated to it now. Now i will briefly talk about the past for second in our past. We would usually be pretty turbulent right all right so we've worked really hard to be where we are now. Where mildly mildly turbulence is way okay better than where we're at right. I think people can relate to win. You kinda have regular meltdown so speak right yeah right. I my mom anytime she would have visitors coming to clean the house. She is coming to clean the hell out of visitors coming to visit she would i would start with the oh i need to clean and then it would just turn into we'll just turn into a meltdown right pattern. There's always and tencent a mirror so think about. I think people can relate to some event out there and as it comes up they start to go into meltdown mode. It's pretty typical. But what if we just go into feeling good and so that's what we're doing this. We're just feeling really good <hes> and from that good we're still doing all the shit we need to do to get better right that interesting difference big difference like we could clean the house in a panic feeling like we're just fucking losing it and fuck this. We should cancel the event. We're gonna just die. Clean clean clean or hey. I'm so excited right. I'm cleaning now. That's a nuclear bomb of information. I just dropped on eugenie there. The world go big difference. It's possible to do it differently. Yeah okay frame set intimate with iron bars. <hes> okay so today we've had. We did three days in a row. Let's talk about one of the experiences that we had that. We've done three days in a row. We've gone for our morning walks yeah or not. Some morning walks on some of the day's yesterday. It was the mid day. Burn me out destroy. My gimme heatstroke day was still was a great walk. Walk yep so talk about walks okay. You've been telling me that they're like you rose every day yeah no. They're awesome. I mean they're a long stretch of time to get the body moving and the mind moving and we do a lot of idea generating and they're just awesome just the connecting bodily with movement bodily with movement okay yeah well yeah i mean it's like it's opposed to sitting across from each other talking. We're walk walk at the same time and there's something that adds to it that we're walking that the body is moving the piece. I want to talk about so today. We had a fantastic experience. Just fantastic and we're going to talk about it. <hes> i loved this experience. Do you want to tell the story sure so we were walking along. There's obviously walking past a bunch of houses in our neighborhood and all of a sudden. We hear this little little boy voice little a little boy voice ringing out with this song. I don't even know what the hell the song was. It's no discernible song but he's just singing any. I can see his sister up near the front door and his brother was over in the in the driveway and really all. I can't locate it. I can see the two other kids and i can't really locate this other. We're this voice disembodied voice coming from and i mean he's loud. He's he's just seeing it out and i'm looking and those i see the sign like a for sale sign. These two little fee. I'm like i found and it and it was just so cute. I mean just his little lungs were full and he was belting out. Whatever the hell is what it was horrible and because we can really see him he couldn't see us and so we're walking along and we we we walk around the edge of the of the sign where he can see us and all of a sudden his just joyous he is belted out song trails off into this little embarrassed and gets quieter in it was funny just drill down and i thought i had a funny line. This isn't really funny but i thought i said something mike mike and thus the boy learned shame i mean that's what ed it became. He became embarrassed. I mean that's what it seemed right and so his this amazing joyous moment for him just trailed off into this little diminish embarrassed embarrassed to nothingness it did and it was it was exuberant excitement and we both picked up on it <hes> we were. We were looking at each other and going. I mean this. This kid is howling a song like kosong berg and there were no words it was just a howl of delight and emotion and just like a bird talking the talk talk talk knock you know and and we walked around and i and he looked up and he looked up at me and just a trail and i waved thome and i wanted to give him the biggest smile i could yeah because i loved what he was doing right but interestingly enough something happened right yeah something happened and he become self conscious and he felt on some level something wrong with his song <hes> and that he must must be quiet. <hes> an embarrassment you could see the layers shit just piling onto on right at that moment right and i don't know maybe where the source of back those layers came from but it wasn't us right like like clean moment we utterly appreciated him singing and utterly utterly appreciated him trailing off right just gave him unconditional love <hes> yeah he's got the biggest small it's usually she's frowning at amoebae this time. It isn't that true actually not true get defensive. Let's talk about this. I anyway so yeah great experience. What did you get from that well. I mean i think i got what we just kind of walked through is how you know we we have these moments of exuberance and then stories stories or whatever creep in and it diminishes it but it also gave me a very powerful moment of seeing seeing being that i want the opposite and that i want the opposite for other people in that moment. It made me sad that he trailed trailed off that his song diminished to a low hum it made me sad and so what that provided aided me was insight into. I want the opposite. I want little kids who how their songs and don't stop because people walk by but i also want the same for myself you know this. This child was a perfect little microcosm of what we we do day in day out to ourselves you ourselves. Do you remember me talking about the pencil rocket story about his in this interesting. I was just telling you about oh my eighth grade or sixth grade pencil rocket story <unk>. I just remember putting these two things together about a night or two ago. I was telling jenny that when i was a kid i had an active imagination <hes> just a really active imagination and one day i was. I think i was in eighth grade but it could be sixth grade. I was in mr norm colours history class the guy who made us memorize and speak in front of everybody the gettysburg address little factual for you that just came up from the depths of my brain and i had two pencils and it occurred to me in like a study period moment or something that they looked a lot like spaceships because they were pointed at the front and the erasers looked like the fire coming out the end of a spaceship and so i began to fly them around course right shaw show. I'm like this is about a lot of all in their chasing each other shooting each other and was having the most it's amazing time right just absolutely amazing time and i had a friend who really looking out for me looking after he was and he's all like comes up to do. You just got stopped. That look like a moron. You look like an idiot. You look like you're you're. You're embarrassing. You'll never get a girl. I remember that line and i was just like it was interesting because i'm sure i'm sure sure any girl in the eighth grade considering dancing or dating me at that time was probably surely put off by by the pencil the intense world i was in my own world right like like this kid was in his own world yeah completely yeah oh yeah and here's the thing by the sound of his song. We knew he was in a beautiful world. Yeah he was in the best world ever and i was having the best ruled ever with my rocket ships and my friend was like i gotta help you here. You're embarrassing yourself. You look you're just not hear back to less optimal world where you should worry about shit like this yeah. That's your thing and and i'll i'll say i can piece some things out of it. <hes> that are useful like present present be aware of how your behavior affects others. If in this moment you really don't give a shit. He just being you and bill. It's also aware of was like okay. That girl cute one three rows back. She's not going to date me anymore but that's okay. I'm okay with that something like that but and presence but i was in such and so i remember i remember this feeling feeling about <hes> i remember feeling bad and li literally came back to a less optimal world world. You were enjoy. I mean i'm not talking about the fact that you were in like a world with little pencils patients like you're in joy. You were you're creating. You're imaginative. You were having fun and you came back to a less optimal world where you were feeling pulling bad. You were feeling stress. You were feeling embarrassed and all those worlds are inside you. I mean but you came came back to a less optimal jason. No i think i can blame my friend for all those things. Oh okay yeah that feels better yeah. No it all was in with.

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