Sunil Bhaskaran Reflects on Finding Happiness and Creating a Better Future
I believe in happiness. That happiness, a lot of people, I feel, are so much in their head these days. You know, thinking about this, thinking about that. You know, a lot of the spiritualism aspects of life is so buried nowadays with logic and blah, blah, blah. And they neglect their religion or whatever spiritualism that they grew up in. Or if they even want to invent their own, it doesn't matter. But I feel that getting more connected to your soul, your spiritualism, is a way to find comfort. It's a way to put things in perspective. I think it's more than that. And I accept what you say. I think it's also to find your strength, which is always there. Please add. The strength is in choices, making the choice, you see, because what's happening is people are not choosing. And there's nothing wrong with not choosing, but there's nothing much right about it either in avoiding the choice. Because what you do in lieu of choosing is you continue to complain either to yourself or to other people, mostly to other people. Tell me what your feeling is about complaining. What do you think the trouble is? What do you think it does to a person to complain? It covers up. It's not like you've got a feeling about this. It covers up a lot of stuff. There's a reason why people gossip. It covers up the unwillingness for them to look at their own lives, to be 100 % responsible for the things that are missing or not working. So if your husband you feel is not coming up to par and communications are showing love and affection to you, well, the proactive thing to do is to have a straightforward conversation with him and say that he's unworkable. And, you know, I'm not saying that you have to cast some kind of deadline or anything like that, but to at least initially give him a chance to show that he's willing to work at it and paint a picture for him. Like, you know, hey, if you work on this, we could have a great life. We might be married for 30, 40 years, and when our kids leave, we could have a great life together if we start working on it now. But if we don't start working on it now, I feel we're not going to have a great life and you may be alone. What do you think, because it sounds like such a simple solution, what do you think prevents people from doing that? Because the past is so strong for people. All the past beliefs, what they've been told by their parents if they get divorced or by friends or from watching movies, become so real for them that they haven't spent enough time talking about the future. See, I spend 99 percent of my time every day talking about the future with people. Right. You know, so my future vision of what I want to fulfill is way stronger than all the abuse and stuff that I used to have. Right. It's not the face of someone who's been abused, it's the face of someone looking forward to the future. I see that, yes. You know, you could say that they're not practiced enough in talking about the future with people. And other people like their husband kind of play into that game as well, because, you know, the pull of the past is a lot stronger, it's easier to make somebody wrong than to create a future. At least it looks like that. But actually, the opposite is true. It's a lot happier, joyful in the long run to create a future. You might have some short -term suffering because you may have to deal with certain things. You might even end up divorced. But in the long term, people tend to be happier when they look to the future rather than continue to live in the past. How about the present? Well, you bring the future… A lot of people say, be present, be present. No, that's very accurate and it's very commensurate what I'm saying, because if you keep talking about the future in the present moment, what you're present to is not the past. You're present to, I'm here now. What am I doing also today for tomorrow? What can I do right now in this moment to create a new future? But the default, if you don't have that conversation, is more of the same old past behind you.