Panji Abed Panja, Dr Ellen Hendrickson, Panja discussed on The Savvy Psychologist's Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Mental Health
Hello, everyone and welcome to savvy psychologist. I'm Dr Ellen Hendrickson and every week I'll help you meet life's challenges with evidence based research, a sympathetic ear and zero judgment. This week's episode is brought to you by Panji Abed Panja bed. Mattresses are made from innovative high quality materials to help you get your absolute best night's sleep. For instance, they are infused with copper, which helps keep you both clean and cool, and your bed is shipped right to your door for free and you can try it. Risk free for one hundred nights. If you don't love it, get a full refund. So visit Panja bed dot com. And use the code savvy for ten percent off. We all roll our eyes at happiness, cliches like live laugh love, or if life gives you lemons make lemonade or dance like nobody's watching. Now, even if there is some truth in inspirational seines, anything you've ever seen crocheted on a pillow or framed on Michael Scott's wall is automatically suspect. So this week to celebrate the two hundred episode of savvy psychologist will look at the science behind five classic pieces of happiness advice and find new fresh ways to put them into action. In other words, when you change the way you look at a thing, the thing you look at changes, hey, when that look good on a pillow. All right. Let's get into it with classic happiness tip. Number one, don't worry. Be happy. Okay. What it should really say is it's okay to feel life's ups and downs. Now, the happiness and positive psychology movements while revolutionary have had one major negative side effect, an expectation that we are happy all the time. Over the last few years. I've seen an upsurge in young adults who come to therapy, mistaking the downs and struggle of everyday life as a sign of something gone seriously wrong, they worry, it's not okay to feel sad after a break-up unsure during a big transition or that feeling anything less than happy motivated and radiating confidence isn't good enough. Therefore, instead of don't worry be happy. Let's update the sane to include normal, emotional variation. Indeed, it's okay to feel incompetent. Especially when we're pushing ourselves to learn something new, it's totally normal to feel anxious when we don't have a ton of experience doing something, and it's important to occasionally feel bored. The best ideas are born when our mind aren't otherwise occupied with net Netflix YouTube or even there, I say podcasts. Okay. Let's take it even further. If we're willing to frontload feeling lousy, we can set ourselves up for true happiness. What do I mean? Well, a twenty eighteen study found that the activities that make us happiest, those that allow us to enter a flow state are often inconvenient and suck up a lot of bandwidth. And indeed it is a hassle to work up the energy to dive into an intense focused activity, like making art training for a sport or writing a story. It can be daunting to work on a standup. Comedy act open an SE shop or sit down at the piano to master that tricky section of rhapsody in blue, but flow and many other activities that make us happy, require an investment of energy and hassle at the get-go, therefore think of negative emotion as an investment. You don't have to throw your Kuna Matata mug but see the ups and downs of daily life as part. Of a normal healthy rhythm. Okay, classic happiness. Tip. Number two is the purpose of life is a life of purpose. All right. And what this really means is find your purpose to fight stress and take care of yourself about kazillion studies as well as commonsense have concluded that having a purpose increases both quality and quantity of life. Okay. So what exactly is purpose? Well, like jazz or porn. We know it when we see it, but for our purposes, we will define it as feeling directed and motivated by goals and values. Okay. Why is this so important? Well, there are a couple of theories. One is that having purpose may prompt us to take better care of ourselves, taking care of yourself implies that you and what you're doing with your life are worth taking care of beyond that. It's thought that purpose shields us from the weathering. Effects of stress. For example, one study found that would students reported their lives weren't meaningful the hassles of everyday life or coupled with symptoms of depression. But when students reported higher meaning and purpose the link between daily hassles and depression, weakened the conclusion purpose buffers us from stress. Okay, we're guardless of how exactly it works. We do know that purpose is directly linked to happiness. A huge study of nearly one hundred thousand people across ninety. Four countries found that people who believe their lives have meaning or purpose regardless of how they feel about their income are happier with their life. Okay, classic happiness. Tip number three is discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. All right. And what this really should say is organize your life so you don't have to exert discipline, okay, discipline, better known as self control is a topic right now, hotter than a hall opinion with a fever, self control defined as resistant impatient in the moment is important. It is hard to be happy when we get sidetracked by every shiny object in our field of vision. However, there is much disagreement about the nature of self control. Some say is a finite resource to be conserved other say, it's more like a muscle, strengthening the more we use it, but as of a hot off the presses study, the thinking about this has evolved this study by two Canadian researchers followed a hundred and fifty nine college students and found. That resisting temptation actually had nothing to do with success instead simply experiencing temptation whether or not they resisted left the students feeling depleted and less likely to reach their goals. It wasn't about self control at all. It was more about how they organized their environment. Okay. So how to apply this well, enter the counter intuitive practice of quote, effortless self control. Here's what that means. So organize your work and life to minimize temptation. Use an app to keep you off line while you're working, put your phone and a drawer while you do your homework. If you wanna stick to your diet, don't go to McDonalds and try to piece together a healthy meal. Just go somewhere where the entire menu as healthy, it's way easier to avoid temptation altogether than to try to resist it. And that frees up energy we can use to be our best. Okay. Okay. Time for a quick break. This week, savvy psychologist is sponsored by the audiobook edition of the happiness curve by award winning journalist, Jonathan rash, drawing on cutting edge research row explains why the midlife slump is actually essential. He demonstrates that by shifting priorities away from competition and toward compassion, you can gain new tools for wisdom and gratitude to succeed in the third period of your life. Read by Robert fast. This audio book will change your life by showing you how life changes. Listen to an excerpt now at MacMillan audio dot com. Slash happiness curve. Okay. So now back to classic tip number four.