Nathan, Craig, Maytham discussed on Terrible, Thanks For Asking
It was the first one I was able to click on, clicked on it and guy was like looking right now, super horny. Wanting to be a top. I didn't know what a top was. And so I was like, okay, sure. And he's like Email me for like address and Santa face pitcher. So I sent her face pitcher. I was like, oh, I'm interested didn't know what he looked like though, and he's like, yeah, you're really cute. Let's meet up. He's like, here's this address, okay, you get in your car and you and you're like, I'm gonna. Go meet a stranger and have sex. Yeah, I felt educated. I was like, oh, you know, I went through a website like because like for me nor remember I grew very naive, like I, I didn't know where like even a penis went and vagina. Nathan got in his car and drove, but the address he had wasn't a house or in apartment or a hotel. L. or a motel it was an abandoned cement warehouse. And I, I was like, okay, maybe it's nicer on the inside. Any opens the door and it's just nothing in there just like empty cement rooms. And then he locks the door behind me. I was scared out of my mind. I was like, I was chasing like fucking Craig. Craig did me so dirty. I was like, fuck Craig, Craig. So he takes me. He locks the door and he's like, okay, follow me. And so I was like, okay, I guess I'm following him and then we go into this room and it was just a cement box literally with like all beat up link on the ground. And he's k. lay down there and take off your pants, and then he ship naked and he's like, put your legs up. I was like, why? And bought it being bought a boom. He topped me and I am just laying there looking at the cement wall. I'm not making any noises and just have a couple tears coming out because I felt so dirty. I felt so dirty and I felt so used. My family is home. I walked like, oh, I was like, oh, I just went and got job juice with some friends and then went downstairs showered and pretend like it never happened. Nathan's first time was phone and also just as a fact-finding mission successful. I was like, I was attracted and it was a crazy experience and it was scary. But it proved to me that I was attracted to males. And yeah, it wasn't the best experienced figure that out, but it did it for me. He has confirmation. He's getting and Mormon. So. What is your faith like at this point. Struggling struggling beyond words. So I thought because I did that that I should repent. So I would try shop. I called him that night actually. And I said, I had sex with a woman and I need to repent for what I have done because I feel horrible about it. And he doesn't know it's a male in my mind. I was like, but you know, God knows it's a male and sex is sex. And so I started my repentance process and their appendi- process for having sex in the Mormon church is long. So it's twelve months. And you're not allowed to take the sacrament. During those twelve months, you're not allowed to do anything at church. You can arrive, but you can't speak. And so you just have to sit there during the three hours and just listen during those months, I went to work school entered, and that's it and nothing else. Nothing more. I didn't really hang out with anyone unless someone asked me and I just went through the process trying to focus full E ON God. Maytham finished his repentance, but he didn't finish with being gay. He knew he had more to do and the time had come to ask for help like actual help. He needed to let someone in to tell someone for the first time the truth about what he was struggling with. So does some really hard. He called his Bishop again and goes to see. Again. I'm in his office at the church, and I was like, I need to tell you something. I didn't tell the guy, but I was like ideal same sex attraction..