Josie Long, Macy, Johnny Donahoe discussed on The Savvy Psychologist's Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Mental Health

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Welcome back to sevi- psychologist. I'm Dr Ellen Hendrickson. And as always I'll help you. Meet life's challenges with evidence based research a sympathetic ear end zero judgment. This week's episode is brought to you by the new podcast Josie. Johnny are having a baby with you. If you're a parent thinking of becoming one or just want to laugh a lot. This is the podcast for you. It follows comedians Josie long and Johnny Donahoe through they're not totally planned pregnancy as they prepare for the birth of their first child. Luckily, they've network of friends to help them figure things out including fellow comedians. John Hodgman and Eugene Merman and CNN contributor. Rachel sklar. Who wants almost managed to hide she was nursing her baby. On live TV subscribe to Josie, John you're having a baby with you in your favorite podcast app. So this week an anonymous listener from. Brooklyn wrote in and wondered if she should tell people about her social anxiety. She gets anxious when people watch her eat or drink, especially if she doesn't know them. Well, and she wonders if it would be helpful just to announce it like sometimes eating in restaurants makes me nervous, or if that would just elicit raised eyebrows. And awkward questions. So coming out about your mental health can be tough in any situation. Should you disclose to colleagues to friends on a first date on the twentieth date to your Michael Scott esque boss, anyway, you slice it? It's a tough decision only you can make and many people stay silent because they intimidate projection judgment or outright discrimination. But others decide to disclose to gain support exercise, their civil rights and break, the stigma and for what it's worth there's already a whole lot of disclosing going on even with a heavy topic. Specifically suicidal thoughts among individuals living with schizo fr? Nia bipolar disorder or major depression. A study led by university of southern California. Researchers found that seventy seven percent of participants had already disclosed to someone in their social network and every single person one hundred percent plan to reach out if suicidal thoughts ever came back, but it's still a hard decision disclosures. Like diamonds are forever. They can't be unseen just like that uncanny resemblance between the monopoly guy and the guy on the Pringles can or maybe that's just me the bowtie the mustache anyone regardless this week. Let's think through whether or not to disclose your mental health. Plus, how to do it in a style that works for you? All right. First up is a study out of King's College London, which pilot tested a decision aid for people pondering whether or not disclose their mental illness to employers, and there was much to think about. Including these four points. So point number one was consider your needs. So what compels you to speak up? Do you want encouragement and understanding do you feel burdened or isolated by a secret? Maybe you need help finding a doctor or want your buddies to understand why you're not drinking anymore. Maybe you could benefit from the reasonable accommodations mandated by the Americans with Disabilities Act amendments act of two thousand eight so for instance, like a few hours of flextime each week to attend therapy or breaks dictated by need rather than buy the clock, regardless. Think about your end goal. What do you need or want out of the conversation point number two is to reflect on your values? So each person who discloses helps chip away at the silence and stigma around mental illness, but you may not feel ready to bear that responsibility. And that is okay. So think about your own values. Maybe you've. Valued being open and candid, or maybe you value your privacy. Now in addition examine your values and beliefs about mental illness itself challenge, any notion that you are somehow week for needing help and questioned feelings of guilt or shame around having mental health struggles in the first place. Point number three in the study was to list the pros and cons of speaking up. And the pros and cons of keeping quiet now because you are a human being you probably have mixed feelings about disclosure, you may want to be open with your friend, but worry, she'll slowly back away from your friendship. You may be concerned about stigma at work, but worried that unexplained symptoms might endanger your job, even more. So to get some clarity list out. Not only the pros and cons of telling. But also the pros and cons of staying quiet. And you might think that the pros of tallying or just a mirror image of the cons of not telling. But you'd be surprised at what helpful nuances can pop up and point number four was think about whom to tell because disclosing doesn't mean telling everyone, you don't have to commission a Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade balloon or airplane advertising banner to announce the news about your mental health. You can tell. I'll just one person. And if that goes, well, maybe tell another it's all up to you. When you're just starting out begin with someone who would love and support you even if you disclosed that you enjoy dressing up as SpongeBob and mooing at the full moon because a good first experience. Lease a solid foundation for tougher disclosures. Also, consider the emotional savvy or the psychological mindedness of each person. If your boss makes Mr. burns, look understanding, it might be better to start with HR. If your school click is full of slither ins play it close to the vest. Of course, even the crusty est of people may surprise you. 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