Jimmy, Five, SIX discussed on Get Your Glow Back

Get Your Glow Back
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Five minutes ago before the phone call. Ice storm is good myself. I capable. I've found inspired. I've got all the good things in Cool likes three people on. Jimmy decided you and not the right vest. You competed questions. You know what i read is a not doing and that is why i believe i know really honest we give out all i won best and then you don't get it and you stay with you. Say that's hey i-instead rita nothing has changed. I haven't got the job. And that is why. I believe in a failure. Invulnerability strengths are so close. And we can see them. Skift already get to see how strong you are in that moment during a test you have put in action and in a way allows you to. I guess release. Feral have less fear. Because you know you've been through it then you can probably something that we need to reflect on. Moore's law must be like remember that full-time and what through elect on. How amazing was i rather than focus on whatever. The situation was focused on the amazing thing that you did to get through already. What exactly exactly celebrated. And which is why i have now. I mean african couple of accidents about dismament. I talk about all the time. Which seems counterintuitive because obviously as people on a god you she was good enough. She didn't get the job. And i know not the point of the story. The point of the story is that. I loud myself to continue to believe that i have that. I am strong. That i have a fierce that i'm worthy and this is something that's happened and i can move forward now and embrace new opportunities exactly like you say it's really reframe and also see like you say. I'm really glad that these things have happened to me is only one example because they do show you that we just strong and we can ever ever begin to imagine isn't it. It's just incredible. We touched on deuces before four was something that i quite Amendment obviously we will play games. But make sure you apply game with my son. You know. I didn't make him win all the time. Sometimes i'll tell and and to be really kind of casual passer and you know when he wins of while the you on the game would a but not making a detail on exactly the same he leases to show the sometimes i listen. Sometimes he'd ages. And i think that that's really important because i think that's part of you just want to try to win to get that feeling or completing snap or whatever game you're playing but losing is to see by sites that because you know deputy running playing a game just to people anyone committed one can lead and i know it's on a small scale but i do think that like imposing for the future. Isn't that what it just made me thinks i do this all the time. Stone snow and united spending anything to our conversation earlier around owning your power and not giving up your car and how you give up your car. You're not actually serving the other tasks you think you all. Because they feel comfortable but an ex affec- you're showing them that it's okay. Hey to make yourself smaller so that other people feel that because instinctively the people who make you feel uncomfortable because you earn your pala they do sense if you make your smaller and so it is example of letting your child win on making yourself small can of not owning your ability of obviously your son is younger. That's a different story. But right now i mean my daughter eighteen twenty. I mean i don't mean they are mowing tillerson me and more capable and so me. Winning a board game is actually quite phenomenal. But hey this desire to make myself. Smaller doesn't serve me doesn't serve and that's really interesting to reflect on your. Why do be in the long term. Think that serving our children. Yeah and you're making yourself small whether it's rare children for people in new lives you'll telling yourself the story so it's going to affect he. Yes exactly like muscle. Memory isn't as one thing he speak about in your book is a story with no dose was being bullied realize you doubt has strong unnaturally providing the support she needed. Could you tell listeners about this realization. On how he cannot trust a loved. One's that strong of anything because so powerful and such a hard thing to go through. I'm sure side heart and sign reading so this was a time. She was young five or six and she was being laid and in the evenings. Lying in secret nighttime stay with her story and regulations would start crying and be really upset and tell me about it and on my goodness i mean you know the feelings that come with that as a parent just up so he overwhelming my default action when i feared stressed end in fia is to go into overdrive okay. We're gonna solve this was going to do is i'm going to call the school and then on on the pads on a side rattling down with things that was going to and then i saw emma and she was smiling at me and she looks at me. You know five years orange in alumnae. It's okay a. k. and it was three. It just stopped me in my tracks and it made me realize that. I wasn't really addressing her anxiety. I was addressing my my immense fear the fear that was coming up in me perhaps from when i was a child and remembering what. It's like when shouldn't like you and you know living through that again. Then this fear for my daughter and that it was an all you have to protect your. I have to do this. Because she isn't strong enough this she's not gonna cut it than saying to me in discount beautiful voice like. Don't worry mummy. it's fine maybe becoming. Oh mike okay the he. She is comforting me. When i'm supposed to be comforting her. And then i realized that all of what i was doing wasn't helping her at all because i was like stuck in my own fear and so i stopped. I said i'm really helping. You might intention name on the. You're not s okay. And that read. It took me down that road. And when i wrote about in my book i realized that it's not just a fear that we are not strong enough to bear the pain but that obviously if we believe that we're strong enough we're going to believe the same for our children we are. We're going to believe that they are not strong enough and so then we become this overprotective machine. You know that isn't really able to tune in with your child. In fact shown them through the questions you ask date a stronger embracing and that's the greatest gift that i believe we can give That's what i do. Now when they call me with heartbreak or whatever it is that they might be going through now. I just say you know what it's just fifty and remember a time when you went through something difficult and remember. You thought. We're not gonna get thread that you did didn't you. So you always stronger than you think. Invite now it's painful. I know that australia and you think and you'll get through this. So that's what i do now. And i also because they aging and twenty three. Now worry about me. And they say you know but mommy. Are you going to be okay. I said you know what you trust. I'm stronger than i think. And i were. Trust that your stronger than you think and then be there for each other.

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