Thanksgiving House, Football, Sarah James discussed on Selfie with Kristen Howerton and Sarah James
Hey Everyone I'm Sarah James a beauty blogger and self help aficionado. And I'm Kristen. Howard Tan a writer and psychotherapist? And you're listening to Selfie a weekly podcast podcast about two women trying to tackle better self care. We're both the opinion that self care is important and yet we find it elusive and while we may have all the Info we need. We don't always get there from the the silly to the serious. We are taking a vulnerable yet. Humorous look at body mind and spirit and maybe a touch of the random. All my looking at the distractions and defensive listen. He does from caring for ourselves shed guys. Well we are rounding the corner to Thanksgiving. I'm I'M GONNA be chatting with author. James Swaggart he wrote a book called if you say so. We're going to be talking about how to deal with toxic family members But I am here with Claire. And we're GONNA do a quick self-care check-in clear I know yours is actually related to thanksgiving. It is To our friends out there. I think everyone knows that. I'M A to Anagram anagram any room to the helper. The I host frigging Thanksgiving every year. You guys you host Sky's the first year of not hosting. I'm giving it up and I'm having very hard time with it. Okay okay first of all I just want to provide a little background. That not only. Do you host Thanksgiving your for your family I do believe your ex's his are involved. Both of your Oh yes every parent of all of the XS and current. Spouse's let's just give our give our friends a the picture between Kristen and I counted this in the car today. We have twelve kids. Yeah Yeah we could be like we have. TLC Show he could totally. I usually usually hosts his mind ours. There's yes plus a random neighbors thrown nj be fair. That is more because I like to control the situation. Yeah I mean I host a lot of things to we have that in common. That's less to more three. I like having everybody together and I feel like the only way I can do that. Yeah is if I host. Yeah for sure so yeah. Giving that up is really hard. How did this come about my grandma? Kay has always hosted for years seniors. Okay and sometimes they rotate. If you know she wasn't feeling Waller's palm springs right and a few years ago. I gave myself permission to not go to palm springs things right and that was hard. Yeah but with as many kids as we have. It's just easier and driving to palm springs on Thanksgiving is a lot of time in the car that is so anyway I started hosting my grandparents are getting older. Yeah so now. Her daughter wants to host Jim so after many conversations emails and text messages between our family. We're going there okay. And I fought really hard for it but I will be honest there. Is this sense of relief. Coming over me. Oh Gosh house doesn't have to be clean. I don't have to be decorated. The doesn't work. I don't have to sit yet so I'm trying trying to find the positive harvests but still like I'm still finding things on Pinterest I wanNA make people will have been come over to you know I always do the friends neighbors thing after Thanksgiving. That's the fun you should just help me Co host that I'm down for that okay. I have a really great bree all see I gave up dairy deem it will. You can can cheat on Thanksgiving right. Is there like a Vegan Brie now okay now. There's definitely not that's disgusted. An oat milk breed breed now. Okay now. That's not happening. Well you know what I think that. That's a big deal. I think it's a big deal to give up something that you really care about in that you love doing bit that you know. Add stress so much stress really hard. I mean especially for personality types like I like to travel over Thanksgiving with the kids Or Christmas last year we went to the year before before. I think we went to Haiti. Like we do big international trips and I have just been so stressed lately and my health is still you know this surgery that I had had. My question hasn't had a breath in two months. Yeah it's still. I'm still recovering from that. Yes I'm still tired in. It's still stupid so I gave up. We're not traveling at all for Thanksgiving House. Miss at which you know. Those are prized times because my son plays football all summer so those are the times we can go. Oh and we're not going anywhere. We're just going to be at home because I feel like I just need my sanity more than I need the excitement of trip and I will say to there at the age where being home isn't as hard during a season lights not in they can go off and do things. Yeah I was like when they're a little bit younger. I felt the need like we have to entertain them with eyeing like you. Don't do camping more sorry. Yeah like a wake-up eat some Halloween candy like Kodaly totally. Yeah they're easy But Yeah I actually Um from when the I have just done as the skimming approaches we have this gratitude bulletin board that I made like years ago. Yes it's actually very very dated. It's got like but it's tradition. It's tradition I mean it's it is just an old school bulletin board like a Teacher Bulletin board that says like gratitude across the ass in like super predated letters. But you know we bring up pieces of paper they use some tax. And it's just this sort of And they get into it they get into it and I feel feel like I have to say my kids are getting older. They're gratitude is sucking like I know. That's like a hallmark of teenagers right into their ungrateful. All that their self absorbed but I mean I'll tell you what might his. Hey just unlike sometimes it like surprises me how ungrateful my kids. I'm like look at your life lying. Look at your life like what are you missing. I mean so much mom. They're missing so much word right. It's tough because we we. We live in Orange County which I have a lot of ambivalence about yes is not where I would choose to land. But it's where I live But you it gives them a false sense of what's normal and I just want to say like anywhere else in the world you'd be wealthy. Do you know many times I yell at my kids. I I don't stay at home. I'm not a stay home. MOM like out of my mouth like the Times a week. Yes because they have this expectation Because I'm home right which I work from home. Sometimes sometimes yeah the. I'm just there to serve them right. And that is my all my gosh. It just makes my skin crawl at that. They think that when they get home from school that I'm just ready with like Activity plan well. I will say my kids have given that up long ago because I never did have activities well to be fair. Now I'm also telling your uh-huh but my kids are more just like you know. They want a nicer phone better shoes or freedoms like my kids. Think the the ad like my daughter last week thought that she was just going to the football game because she's a middle school now and that's just what she your twelve relax you you can ask for permission to go. He shows up like black lipstick on. I'm going to a game like but it's it's like What's the were looking for the expectation but I don't know there's there's a brain fog guys I don't think she's entitled. Yes it is certain needle yes that is AH. That's very much it. Yeah I feel the same so you guys have gratitude jar though. Don't you two way. Do we totally do. We never use it. I don't think anyone's put anything in that jar jar. Dr Is great but I need the bulletin board like front and Center. Yes and I almost feel like the jar. Why love this dry? Have and I'll link up to it. It's it's a beautiful really beautiful last jar that they can write things but because it's always out it just becomes white noise right whereas the Thanksgiving board is like it's a limited time it's like we have two weeks seeks more He'll get more volved. You'll do it more. So yeah that's your boys get involved in that or just the girls the boys I have to force. Yeah I'm noticing testing as my boys are getting older. That's not something that they gravitate to now in an impact. I mean I would say my boys are the more entitled less grateful as four. And what's interesting about that in my heroes do love clothes in fashion. My boys are so much more sensitive to things being cool yes like I go shopping for the girls and they probably will like seventy percent of what I've gotten them. Yeah Boys Not so much maybe ten yes and I. Aw what I now very in that that speaks to where we live to though it does it. Does I WANNA make a note on gratitude to though particularly about my boys. My boys are both adopted when I'm talking about gratitude. I am never meaning that I think like they should just be grateful that they get to live in general that Islamic yell exactly like there to be grateful like a typical teenager yet but they do not need to have any extra gratitude for having been adopted. They're allowed to be I'm so sorry to even have to say that I know but it's I you do but you do have to take Jimmy has. There's a lot of adoptive parents out there. That are still pushing that narrative for that. You now my kids should just be so a lot of unhealthy twos lot of martyrs. Yes all right. Well what do you have your times at this week. do I even remember. Oh Yeah Okay you're not gonNA love this okay. Maybe not tell me maybe not going to let this so crystal have a thumbs up thumbs down. We'll start with a thumbs was up. I'm a huge nick. Crowe Fan I've been in at girlfriend for as long as the show. The League came out really yes I would so good so so good I also came from like a sports family so it has like a sports theme yes anyway He has shown that flakes. It's an animated series in. Its third season big mouth I I know of it. It I had not watched Franken tastic. The writing is just another case first of all. It's Nick Crawl and Indra Goldberg Goldberg. To other those people to the they're such great writers what I also love about them as they when they do projects they bring their friends. Yes Hancock Adam Sandler you know. Years ago everything he did. Every saying crawl is in has the same dental from from the league there are harmful from and Maya Rudolph's in And there's probably a lot more people that I don't I can't even remember right now but because I have kids who are going through puberty. Yes it is so funny to me. It's so relevant and I were winding laugh again. And then I'll rewind it and laughing and and my husband loves it not something you're going to watch with your kids net Super Raunchy she I Know Jaffa would love to watch. He would absolutely love it he actually does probably secret. I mean I feel like I would rather watch this important so what you know. It's like that's that's the battle. Were biting these days guys. There's no other choices it's porn or big mouth. Pay were over the worst gangster rap with all the cursing took me started..