Tesla, Tuzla, Jamila discussed on Brown Ambition

Brown Ambition


If we become more optimized in our finances. How much money can we have. So i literally when. I came home and told them in the first time he looked at me. Like what are you talking about. And then over time what i did was. I didn't push him to. This is really important because you come up with the realization or have an epiphany. Does it mean like your partner. Will they have they have. They're on whole another time line. So i respected that but also started to show him like the numbers like i created the spreadsheet and it showed like if we do this like first of all. Step back from the spreadsheet. What does a life look like now that we enjoy. And what does the life look like now in like twenty years right when the kids are this age and like they're at the house and we can travel. And how can we balance that now. So we started with the dream of our lives what they are now what we want them to be and then we did numbers around. It and i showed him well if we do this. Make these changes in our finances. Save it invest this much over time we can. Have you know over a million dollars in twenty years and we can do all these things and that started to get him excited. It's because instead of me just seeing it and talking he saw the numbers. And then the other thing. I really was important to say was. Yeah i want to do this. I quit my job but also like you know. I'm the mom i'm i'm the one giving birth and having three kids i also have the crazy commute. See my husband his job. Maybe like ten minutes away from our house so he also knew the pressure of just like my life and he wanted me to be happy. And so i made sure that like not only like we were going to pursue what i wanted like in terms of career or quitting my job. But what is it that you want. So i definitely we made sure they include his wants in hopes like into what we were doing. You know. I don't really care about having a nice car we used to have nice cars quote unquote back in the day before kids and getting a little bit more optimized with our finances but i said look if i can i want buy you a car. You know like it. Was things like that. That got him excited. So that way we both were with my way into baby. I said save for a tesla. Let's once for tuzla. Yeah let's messing for a tesla. It's so important because he is a little bit more like fancier than me right like i'm good. We kind of just like bare minimum. But sometimes fancy he's like. If i could do a fancy all the time i would so talking about it in that term really helped to let him know that. This is a team effort. It's not just about what jamila wants and also like if i'm miserable 'cause i'm working and driving all this time like the whole family is not going to be happy so let's work to a place that we can get to. And so he. He eventually got bored with that. But he's very easy going and laid back. Thank god for that in terms of he pretty much trust me we have the open conversations about it and even when it came to quitting my job because that was huge like my income was more than half of the families combined income and so if it would almost better if i was a teacher and then he has his career because then like you know he can kind of stay on his trajectory but for me to walk away was like a big step because what does that look like as a family. We have three kids. We have a mortgage like so we literally had to save up enough money to cover our expenses while journey to launch started to become more stable and that was scary. But we did it together we had the conversations and it. It's it's working out so far. So that's no that's wonderful. I also have always been. It's so funny. How the you know a no shade to your husband. I always talk to my husband. I'm like dude. You work for the government and you have the buddhist taste like. Where do you come off with this. Like what like. I must he. Has this very specific t shirt brand. He gets custom shirts. I'm like i'm the one shopping in the clearance rack at h. m. but statements. You i we i was. I was earning probably like two three x what he's was earning at the at my peak. Earning career in corporate america so to speak but That's so that's so funny. And it's also you know shouts out to shut partners on a pa- genders on it but partners who are willing to. Maybe maybe they have their doubts but they just you know. Have those in the shower alone. They they support and they you know have faith in their partners to to really bet on themselves and to take their career to a different place. That's really wonderful that he's been supportive to you. And i i appreciate you talking about the whole the the values you know and how you as a partner i've struggled with this too. I probably a little bit more than it. Sounds like you did. But i was like. It was very hard for me to start to share in the values based investing like so for example. You know. I had no problem spending money on values or experiences that i particularly wanted to have but when it came to a you know if it was a car or you know i don't know concert or something like you know. Enrica really wanted it was it was like It's not really worth it. And i had to had to learn to share in. That was that was probably my one of the more difficult challenges for me financially. Like mentally as a spouse was bringing them in and being open to you know they're what they value would not not discounting and making that a part of the overall plan. Yeah it's important just like for me. I think as growing up without really. I didn't have a father in my life. I had father figures. I didn't really have a close relationship with them. And so i was like for me. Value-based things like the simple. Even though i say he's fancy like the other things that he's about which is like family and he's very grounded and supportive like it's like one of the first signs like i saw in him like when we first started dating years ago that i said like out of all the things i want someone it would be the opposite of what i knew my dad to be and so i think whatever that is i know some people people like that and they don't they don't turn out to be this way eventually but he that's what he is and who he is and so even as an entrepreneur now like i know like having three kids like he's an equal partner in the house and in parenting. I still feel like. I do a little bit more. But i feel like he is as much equal as outside of my controlling self. He can be in terms of how i like things done. And it's been when people say. How do you do.

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