Johnny Loved, Spain, Mr Life discussed on Homophilia
A dot dot dot. I'm a queer person and I am young and I want to taste the spice of life like and get my kicks while. I'm still young enough to get them. I don't want to live with regrets but at the same time I really I do I do I would love to. I'm I'm not going to be running into another huge relationship right now. I mean if it comes what can you say. You don't really have when it comes right like I wish I could be like in three months. I'd like to lead this bird but You're not seeking it out. No no right. Now I'm not opposed to it But unfortunately this was. I just closed a really serious chapter. Mr Life and I really it was one of the most in it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. And it taught me so much about got myself about the stuff that kind of I need to work on and it taught me a lot about about what's important like maybe I thought a couple of things are important and until I really once you live with somebody and you're both financially tied and like you know he really. He supported me when I had nothing I moved in with him. Is He really scooped me up from the gutter and believed in me and with that gave an gave me confidence because I knew that if nothing else at the end of the day I was I had him and I had this partnership that we had and so I was going to be okay regardless stewardess waitress. Whatever I was going to be like I was going to be okay because we have you know we're just we? I love going to gigs. That was the best part. I love concerts. I love like music anybody's playing I'm going and they were like that to me me so we went to gigs all the time. And so that's something that I really miss But going forward you know in a relationship I would I I would really I would I would. I'm going to be looking for somebody. Who has their own lane and has their own path and is very dedicated dedicated to that and worked hard? Because you know I think that's important And I would love us to have our separate kind of lanes in terms of our work work or whatever we're doing and that we also have what we share together I think that that's important I. It's almost I think this is a line from like that book. The prophet where it's like. We should drink the same wine but we both have our own glass. We will share the same bread. But we're going to cut it in half because if you share the same Brennan we're just taken by life for bite. Someone's going to get more going to get less so we share the bread but we each have our own piece. We drink the wine but we each have our own glass and I think that is kind of what I'm going to be looking for going forward. You know watching the show were Hayes. Dating Life is something that I've never seen seen on. TV You know that this is A an out gay guy who is. Who's doing drag and drag a huge part of his life? And and and I and I think the show touches on it but it's also very contemporary in that the fact that whore hey is also a drag queen is not a hindrance grants to. Isn't that dating. Which I think that's I hope I please don't please don't take this wrong way? Folks like please. Dm Me and say. I'm horrible. Like I I'm saying this with complete respect but I really believe that. That's a new turning point that we're in right now because when I was growing up if you were a drag queen or if you did drag like the slim pickens. Nobody wanted to say we. They always wanted to cheer you on from the stage but no one wanted to be with that person or at least a lot of people. Did I mean granted. I can only speak for myself but it was tough for an eye as an effeminate gay boy or a choirboy that I was growing up in a lot of different identities and a lot of different different looks and when I was growing up. If you weren't straight passing like if you weren't trade you're single like the gay boys wanted to be with the Polo wearing sweat shirt like it could work. But we're not that kind and I was the kind of gay that was not to be gay. Hey but you don't have to fall on it and I'm like why not. I mean look at these. They flaunt their machismo celebrated for their for their for their sportsmanship for there. Her and there are celebrated for their familiarity or their beauty or there. Were you know how they're the fashion. Why can't we and so? I spent my entire entire highschool drivers alone. I was a load no one wanted to. And so then I had moments of China code switch and like I was going if I was itching for a kiss on the dance floor like maybe wear you know. Maybe the you know the tim's with a bag years definitely warm facial hair and it wasn't until It wasn't until like I was out of school like it was out of college because I remember even college I went to a very queer school. Marymount fair amount. I know but Even in school like I never really had those experiences. The that the other boys were having I was really goal oriented. It and I was always pursuing and very confident. I'm very confident but I'm also like I'm I'm complicated like I'm really shy and nervous and cry all the time at home alone not in public around podcast cast and I'm just but I don't let that get in my weight like I'm very confident and I'm afraid sometimes that may come across as arrogant I don't mean it to be the arrogance but I believe talent and I believe in what I have to bring to the table and I'm not scared if you also have something to bring the table. I don't know why has to be either. Why can't Oh? Oh the Dave coates like Sondheim said does it have to be or can not be and you know I got my stuff going on. Says you stop stop going on. I'm not competing with competing with me. Like you. Get it fabulous. I get it cheer for me. You know like why does it always always seems you know in college competition thing so not only was I like to gay fam- skinny Ladyboy for the gay boys but also like there was this. There's competition feeling that. So they never really let me me in so I just completely withdrew and just was like really serious about work and stuff. So it wasn't an after school. Things started changing suddenly crop. Top Sir like acceptable label and sexy. Now which is awesome and all the things that you were probably warned about the thought they had your best interest in mind about not not like limiting yourself as an actor ended up serving you later and don't get me wrong. I listened for a while like I. I tried to be the neutral in my interviews. I tried to be neutral in my dressing because I wanted to be a canvas. I really wanted to be an actor. A character actor as my my my passion to transform and I think the probably the most transformative character ever played was Angelique on dreadful because that was just a complete I in my head I was playing woman So everything from my is moving to my voice to my body. Everything was where I worked on And people said well if you do stuff that you're never going to be anything else if I don't do it then I'm just going to sit here waiting for the rose to come my way you know whatever. And then they say things like well you know you're probably GONNA be pigeonholed and this is what you're going to do for the rest of your career and I sat with that for a while. Then I thought to myself If I get get to play fully fleshed out queer characters with with a pension for feminity and drag guy okay. I think like if I can go to work and do this for. I think I'll be okay. Do I want to do other things absolutely. I've got dreams. I've got hopes you you know I. Someday I'd really love to play Lorca. He's really an idol for me just plant transcended Spanish playwright For those of you don't know he's known for a trilogy which was actually trilogy but like postmortem Israeli Blood Wedding Yerma and the House of better now than Alibaba. It's amazing Spanish. Nice plays about Spain and it's because he's from Spain and it was a misdemeanor so I love to play him someday. I'd love to play Vampires like I'd love to play. I love to do anything. But if that's not allotted me and I still can do this. Says I'm just fine. Your US saying give a bit of glitter. I don't know if I can say. Can we say glitter on the And I'm fine. I mean you can't you can do whatever you WANNA do. But I'm not GonNa let that stuff get in my way because You never know I mean look at look. We got corona going on. Now we've got and possibly World War three. You know. Think Shit happens every day so I'm going to do every day happy. And if I'm doing this show or if I get to play play a fleshed out from not a token amen and I don't think you have to worry about. I think eighty keen is going to run for decades. Well here's his hoping I would love that syndication check. I mean when we all right Johnny thank you so much. Thank you guys so much this is is the most vulnerable. I think I've ever been in an interview and so that's lake kind of I don't know they probably like leave here and be like Shh. What did I just WANNA say? Thank you guys so much for having me just like. I don't think it's a pretty good space here and we've got some good hosts so Thank you guys. Thank you so much coach. Buy Buy out there in. La by Johnny Loved it loved every second of it. Thank you thank you dave. Thank you timmy. Lucas and they look at you Ryan. Connor honor thank you to the whole ear.