Steve Gleason, Steve, Three Girls discussed on That Sounds Fun with Annie F. Downs
The way a for all of us define what those gifts are if they're not especially obvious to spend some quiet time and think about the things that gives us great pleasure. What do we really love to do is. Gardening is doing. A rubik's cube is watching movies. What what what is it and then but but without any conditions attached in other words. I'm not gonna go garden because i think that's gonna make me a ton of money. What do i really really want to do. And in the question asking process will will sometimes lead us into areas of enlightenment or discomfort and and we need to be okay with with all of that. We need to be okay with. Maybe maybe my gifts aren't gonna make a ton of money or maybe I'm not as good as i thought. I was at this and just to know that all all of that stuff is is okay and then i think eventually your passion kind of will reveal itself to you. I like the enlightenment and and discomfort together. Because i think people don't want those together i think they want to learn and it not hurt. Yeah well i mean the older. I get the more i realize that if i can almost intentionally keep myself in a perpetual state of least modest discomfort then i i will grow to some level. I think about a friend of mine. Every day is named steve gleason. He was one of the most talented athletes. You'll ever meet you play for the saints. Yeah she has ls now. I probably knew himself because one of my best friends here nashville is a football player. Who has ls amazing. I think about steve. And i think about how he has incorporated the highest level of physical discomfort emotional discomfort into a life that has become so powerful and inspirational infer rueful. And what can i do to try to understand that depth of faith and humility. What can what can i do. And i think the the idea that discomfort is is not something that should be tolerated or but but should be should be welcomed. My my dad said to me one time that. There's an art to pain in in math. Thought about that for years just thinking what. What does that mean. what does that mean in. I just watched passion of the christ with my girls of a few nights ago and all three of them came up to me the next day and said that really really messed us up big just just to watch forget who was crucified to watch anyone suffer that It you know like it reminds you at least. The reminds me like that that that is a huge part of the growth process in how we come to terms with things. That don't necessarily go away. Yes i so. You're raising three girls or they're raised right twenties in night and eighteen or something belts now. How did you help them. Find the god given gifts that are in them. How so far. Our friends who are parents. How do we help. There are children. Find what their god given gifts are these. These are such great questions. And i'm honored to be able to talk to you on this level because it doesn't happen that much but for me it comes from Empowerment in love and the discovery process. Like if i can as a father in jill is a mother can create an environment of love and risk for risk-taking and this in the discovery process. Knowing that. i'm not gonna just volunteer a bunch of information on you. I'm going to allow you to walk and stumble and fall on your quest to design your own life. If i if i can allow that process to happen. Then i think the the the passion will will come but it's a little tricky though as a parent because you force your kid to take piano lessons as is the you know what i mean. I think i think it's it's just into individual. I think you have to. We all love our children. Want them to be healthy and happy and we provide structuring context through which they can develop discipline. But eventually you know it's really important for me to recognize that these children are not meet the they may have pieces of me but my life is not their life and and i have to learn how to adapt to the notion that these amazing young people that we've always tried to raise are actually here now and they're going to have opinions and perspectives. That may not always coincide with mine and am i. Okay with adapting to that. And and and understanding them as adults in allowing them to be free as the people that they've grown to be in for me jill. That's that's the trick in and now we've got these three women in our lives that educate us still are dependent on us in in ways that kids are always dependent on their parents but they bloomed into his incredible. You know people so it's been amazing to watch. And according to what i saw i think on your instagram home for the whole pandemic year right like they were at the house with you. What was that like having your three grown daughters back. It was it was. I let me how lucky jilin were to be able to stay at home anyway. I mean we think about all of the people on the front lines that we're doing everything they could to keep us alive and taking risks and and we pray for them every day our daughters who should have been off designing their lives. Were all home with us so you know they quickly turn. A typical sort of the sucks is frustrating. Which is any normal young person's attitude to what can we use this opportunity for to to help us grow and it's become this unforgettable time in our lives where there was a lot of lost a lot of tragedy. A lot of heartbreak frustration. But we were able to be together in a way that we never would have been able to be together because they they should be off doing their own thing with yet. They've had to stay at home and they've been responsible so many times they've had friends call and say hey come out for we're gonna meet for drinks and they've said we. We can't do that. we you know. Our mother had breast cancer. We're not gonna risk her life because we want go have a drink until into watch a twenty four year old at twenty three year old an eighteen year old say no to any kind of social activity for a year has been a great lesson to me because i tell them all the time. I don't know what i did to deserve this but man. I couldn't have done that. I just don't think i would have had that string so these these three incredible women have taught me a lot when you think about how you were parented. I watched instagram. You did with your dad where he gave advice on how to be ninety five and i like fell in love with him. He seems so line. My dad is everybody loves my pop man how you have to. I mean when he's like do more stuff eat more. Sounds like my guy so so when you think about how you were parented to what's happened with the last year with your girls. Can you even see like. Is there a line of. You're able to take what learned as a kid and transition into how your parenting adults now. Absolutely you know one of the things. My dad always said was everything in moderation including moderation. And you know he. Just you know i feel so lucky to have a ninety five year old father who is still called daily. Yeah multiple times a day for advice. I was reading some thomas acquaintance recently. Because i'm trying to understand and and i really cycling this one particular thing in in in facetime my dad. My dad's you know. He's just kind of kicking it. He didn't own his college as a pop. What do you think he meant by this and an hour later. He says dang manny said. I'm ninety five years old. I thought i had all this stuff. Figured out you're gonna come in here and disrupt my whole thing you know. Because he's an he's like deeply faithful and knowledgeable about like he could talk to you for hours about the holy spirit in ways. I've never even heard priests talk about those spirit. And so he. He really knows what he's talking about he says. Why are you want mess up my whole my whole rhythm right now you know and we have great conversations about that. I'm just. I'm so lucky to have him. I just listenable. Hasn't try to learn i. I need to have him on the podcast. Let's do a whole episode about the holy spirit. Listen he says we hear about the father and son all the time he said but what really who is holy spirit. I mean he's written a devotion to the holy spirit. I'm serious i it's it's an. It's an amazing thing to talk to him. Actually think his devotion to the holy spirit maybe even in my lifetime will become something that the church actually incorporates into their doctrine because we never really studied in that way and i mean he spent years of his life dedicated to and it's i mean he's he's amazing he seems awesome. Okay well can you get. The his devotion he wrote is like online i will. I don't know but i give you my word. I will get it and so you so you can have it..