Hockey, Canada, Engineer discussed on Welcome with Karim Kanji


What was their what were their young lives? Like what were they doing to be able to pursue sport at the highest level? And so I felt like I ultimately had all these stories about these amazing women and in a way I felt like a bit of a caretaker of the history like it was up to me to share this and so the first right when I look back now was it terrible? Let's be honest. I cannot it right. I was a engineer by trade. I was very technical. It was just kind of, you know game synopsis and whatever but when I was on birth National team, I did take I wrote a lot of Diaries. I took a lot of sort of notes, but I also our team was forced to do log books. So every day you had to walk you right real you what you ate how you slept what your work it was like so that was also beneficial because in those log books I had written and I don't know if this is just a whole thing, but I wrote every single goal and how it went in and what I could have done differently, you know in a way to allow me to get better but also looking back at it. I see a lot of you know angst or frustration on a certain goal or maybe I was okay with it was a great shot and that really gave a lot of color to the situation and there was a lot of game tape that I had taped on VHS video, so I didn't have a VHS player. But so I had to transfer it all and then re watch the game tape. So in the meantime, I yep. Took some writing courses and tried to really put myself in the situation so that the reader felt like they were going through with me and not just telling the reader what to think or dead who these people were so I try not to pass any judgments on what you should feel or what you should think cuz everybody will be in a different space, but I wanted to put myself in the situation say you knew what was going on around me who were the influences who were these women and what really were their personalities and so well it it is not a story about them or say it is about the amazing influence that they had on my life and sort of our in team as we went forward. So the second question was it hard to write once I wrote from that perspective in that moment. Some of the stuff was really hard to write and I would go to bed like angry and mad all over again. Like I had just been either cut or I'd just been pulled from a game and my poor husband. I had to deal with that like I'd be cooking supper dive just be like angry at like certain coaches or this is like twenty years later and I think he just kind of rush to decide to be like, you know, what what game are you writing about today? Or but it is and it was hard even every time I'd go back and edit certain games. I would still be months later, you know, and so it's been very cathartic for me. I think had not written at all and not gone through it all so many times and now even reading it out loud to people it's made me more at peace with the decisions and why the decisions were made and and really ultimately the role that I played and ultimately just being proud of the situation that I was fortunate to walk in but also of the influence that I could have in those moments wow. Why did you choose to be a goalie? I know you played hockey cuz of your brother a white gold. So I just I really liked I mean ultimately just really like the equipment. I would watch Hockey Night in Canada and it just looks so cool. Like these guys just look like Warriors. I don't know. It was awesome. I used to sit in front of Hockey Night in Canada. And I would have I would like draw pictures of the goalies as they were playing in my youth and so I always kind of gravitated towards goaltending when we're playing street hockey. I just really liked it my brother tried a year of goaltending when he was nine years old. So that was sort of the family tradition is I wasn't allowed to watch become a goalie until I was nine. So I tried it when I was nine and my parents said, you know, once try it at the beginning you have to you have do it for the entire season, so my brother tried it four at the beginning of the season and he hame That and he had to like last through the entire season. So he was a kind of goalie. That would be like a Ron Hextall and come out just smashed you cuz he'd be angry at letting a goal in but when I tried it, I just love love to being sort of an Hockey while initially I gravitated the goal-tending because of what it was. I think stuck with goaltending because of it allowed me to play at the highest level and had I been a former right away when I was ten and one in fact, we had checking right away. And so I'm not sure that I would have lasted very long as a female playing in the AAA boys loop back in the day. But as a goaltender you could you could just kind of be in your net and not have to really worry about that. So a lot of my generation of women there's a lot of very strong goaltenders because we're kind of all forsook at situations like okay if you want to play with the guys like yeah, you can be the goalie so you don't get hit as often. So I've been told you know, whether it's a goalie in hockey or the dog catcher in baseball. That you you guys are a special breed of people, you know, I don't know what it is. I don't know. Yeah become managers.

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