Leafs, Mouth Breathing, Martin Seligman discussed on The Virtual Couch


So that into the nose out through the mouth breathing is gonna already get to feel better. It's going to get us to feel a sense of calm. And then one of the one of the need. Activities you can do. If you've never tried, mindfulness is just on the end breath count one on the out breath count to the end breath count three on the out breath count for and just try to get the ten and I'm telling you it's a lot harder than it sounds because a lot of times you might get in out three, four, all of a sudden you're thinking about, I don't know where you're going to do thanksgiving this year, and I'm months away from thanksgiving by the way. And then when you recognize that don't go holy cow Katy to this right because that doesn't help. But at that point you just gently notice that, okay, I'm not counting anymore. So go back and start over in the nose is one out through the mouth is too, and here's the thing that's pretty neat about this exercise in particular that there were times for a long time, but I never got the ten, I really didn't. I don't know if it was just my brain or what, but I never got the ten. Now I get the ten like champ. There are times where I can't. And then again, all that does is it tells me that I probably got a lot going through my brain and I need to be a little bit more aware and I might need to do a little bit more of some of these mindfulness exercises. There's a great one in the confidence gap called Leafs on a stream where you where you really spend a couple of minutes each day and you do a little bit of breathing, and then you just sit there and honestly, the exercise every thought that comes into your head, you imagine yourself putting that thought on a leaf and letting it go down the street and that thought might come right back and you just put it right back on there. It sounds so silly. I know it does, but basically what you're doing, you're learning how to defuse detach from these thoughts that we just felt like were were controlling our world. So that's kind of the thing that we want to do so. So let me talk about the negative thoughts before we wrap things up today and back to the confidence gap. Some of this might sound a little bit familiar, but how many times have you heard or somebody's told you that those negative thoughts are problem, and that there are self-defeating used to be at therapists that a little bit of this and the old cognitive behavioral therapy world that we talk about answer, automatic, negative thoughts. I wanna look at those negative thoughts as as just things now they're just data that we're going to work with. So we're told with negative thoughts that we shouldn't be thinking that way. We're told things like winners think positively losers thing negatively. We're kind of told those stories, and here's it gets back to we're told happy people don't have those kind of thoughts. And I don't know if you if you, you're listening to a previous episode where I talked a little bit about this. Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology. The person who's written a lot of books on positive psychology. He is the first to say that when he has met with a problem, the first thing he has or pessimistic thoughts, but then he doesn't nice job of acknowledging those recognizing what stories his brain is telling him about the what is led to that pessimism and then viewing those not as workable or productive thoughts..

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