Football, Twenty Years, One Day discussed on The Rev and The Rabbi

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Professional time on that feel but no matter where I go no matter what context anyone that I've spoken to about you what they talk about is who you are as a person the individual and it seems like that was not an accident that was important to you more than the game itself yeah well you know I think that given the stage of football given the stage of professional sports we have the opportunity to be role models some of us take this serious some of us don't I was one who really took that as more so a large part of my job was to be the right example for children was to be the right type of person that represent the New York Jets New England Patriots what's your teams that play for and what's interesting is you said is that when most of the fans come up to me they hardly ever talk about what I did on the field most of them they tend to compliment me on the type of person that they perceive Chris one of things I've seen over the years of the young people respond to three things they want a hand to hold they want to shoulder upon which to lean but above all an example from which to learn everything I've heard about you read about you you did all those things but what I wanted was what inspired you to be so great off the field many people perform well on the field they don't always remember the responsibility off the field what is it your growing up your past that was the catalyst for that kind of commitment off the field well something that pastor Bernard knows about me is that come from you know very horrible at verse background and for me football wasn't my first passion it wasn't my love I didn't even want to play football I was basically forced to play football just to get our neighborhood I grew up in and so for me the reason why I believe that I was able to get out of my career when I got out of it was because I appreciate the opportunity of getting out of the environment that I came from and the opportunity to football gave me so I wanted to make the most of it yeah there was some that I can't say I didn't like the one in our day and want to do it but it just wasn't my passion and so I wanted to use football as a stage two number one position myself and to use it as a a platform to serve and help other people you know starting to John Starks to play for the next and he also talks about growing up in a very difficult in home life he said it's because of that that he felt a responsibility to help others and I heard was talking to a group of kids and he said I won't hear any excuses no excuse he ology and you have an opportunity to do much with your life don't keep pointing back well I grew up in a bad home in there for I can't I think you're the same way he did he he made a decision and you know fortunately I have the privilege for over twenty years to be his pastor and I've watched him grow and evolve when he was playing and even when he retired from the game and his story we don't have the time on this show it would take a good hour show and it's a compelling story as to how our lives are composed of her choices and he decided to make some choices that change is definitely I will tell you a rabbi he may not be alive today if he did not make some of the choices that he made when he did and and and how we follow through on those choices you know rabbi for me you're my goal just to give your assurance that enough what type of life I was living my goal was to me until I was twenty one you know if where I grew up I I just heard a lot of people making deals with the devil so I decided I could make a deal with god one day and I said if I can live past twenty one I'll try to clean up my life and you know was amazed twenty two I said well I got to get busy so you bring in right because now your personal faith you have been but you know how to carry it well and how his faith sheep and inform who you are as a person to your husband your man your father coming from the environment come from I I didn't have a positive role model the first positive male role model I had in my life was maybe bill Parcells he was the first guy that I decided that I could really look up to this guy and he was as hard as you could be on a player a lot of the players used to actually think that he was being unfairly hard on me but I just told my I told my other teammates establishing the man can't want me to fail you know he has to win games and so he's doing that because I think he sees something in me and he wants to bring the best out of me latching on to that kind of first male role model for me that that was that was really big he played a significant role in my life you know that shows also and by the way thanks thank you bill Belichick was much easier on players it was a whole three right it's a very soft it just reinforces in my mind the difference the one person can make in life you take a one bill Parcells you take a you know one school teacher who sees the potential of a young man or young woman who may have you know been treated harshly at home yep that one person becomes an inspiration I still never feel that you have nothing to offer someone else no matter where you are maybe you can make a difference in someone else's life and you know you have to really look at gratitude and a bill Parcells and all the other people of the teachers who don't get all the emotion after he won the class you will come in each day with that sense of dedication they want to make a difference but are they have to have some social commentary because since you retired the NFL has gone through a lot they have been front stage last year especially into this year on social issues their own issues in terms of domestic violence calling Capen neck you know what what what's your commentary on where the NFL is today I think the NFL is in a very sensitive place because from a public perception you know you have this perspective that the NFL may not care about the players are this is I'm sure there are the players may feel a certain way the players in the league and the union you know may be at odds but at the end of the day one of the things that I think is that in order for this game to continue to grow there has to be a little more unity I don't think that there's enough unity throughout the NFL when I say that I'm not just talking about with the players I'm not just talking about coaches are teams or even the week but I'm talking about all of it together because I think that is all one system that works together when is divided I think that that's what the public is seeing an ever you know I think that's what's missing in the public right now and I think people care their values resonate with many of us when we hear cases of domestic violence family violence is in a meeting the we can't tolerate that we need in all the legal players all to come down hard there is no defense for domestic violence nobody can say well given the circumstances we can understand it years ago I was talking to someone who's mom was a victim of domestic violence and she went to her local clergy in the clergy said well go home stop arguing with your husband so much you'll see things will be better that was the worst possible advice they could be given to work well she went home she tried to be a little gentler and sure enough she was victimized again so I think people respect people who take a very important moral stance when is immoral behavior on about the NFL whole everyone's play is morally novel a you have to sign a contract with them right yeah wasn't wasn't there something in the contract some moral clause because you know corporations this event were cool yeah and if you're going to conduct yourself in a way that can undermine business you're gonna be held accountable there are contracts employment contract as C. E. O. site with a moral laws and is that something that was in the contract yeah that's something this in every contract they call IT conduct detrimental to the team what is better middle to the leak and see this is another thing that from a public perspective I believe that the league gets a bad rap because those things are in a contract and you figure you have two thousand some guys then you may have one guy do something that stands out or this that gets a lot of public attention and most people don't see that the other nineteen hundred ninety nine you know have been doing well and if you take that same amount of people we compare to the you know public society that's not a you're going to have one or two people do something that's out of the I guess the frame of conduct so so if there is something written into the into the contract with the Lakers is the NFL not doing enough to enforce certain standards well known they there is forcing those standards they're forcing them it's just that some things for the first time that they're happening you know the situation with the domestic abuse case that one on a couple few years ago you know that was kind of a new standard you know that was that was kind of that was that was not this is the first time that it happened but it was the first time that it was that public you know the society has changed technologies change yes nothing is secret anymore is that I don't even think that if there's no Mike that the Mike is off exacerbates recording you would have you do is going to get out there in seconds around the world I think we're Curtis which are all sayings is we have what's called the missing tile syndrome people look up in the ceiling see missing tile they don't see all the surrounding beautiful trials see the missing tile we find this in the world of clergy of when some are clergy have Shane Dawson horribly Shane does all clergy gets a bad rap because the judge the all by the song rather than saying the some only to find the some not the total now so I I you were saying I'm not saying that the NFL does everything right I'm not saying that they make every right this is mine I'm just saying that there are some things that you know they occur in the public and everyone comes down really hard on the NFL because they don't understand or know what's going on behind the scenes now the NFL I think sometimes they do a really good job at protecting the player so they may know things in the background that they're not going.

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