Mikey, Michelle Obama, Ellen Degeneres discussed on Women Amplified
You think I would love to take your questions. Come on up to the microphone so I can hear you don't head out just yet. I know you're in a hurry to get to lunch in your next session or the book signing but please come. Ask questions because that's where all the magic happens. Come ask questions yes me. I'm just going to be courageousness crush. Thank you so a lot of this seems to me that it would be easier to do for extroverts than introverts finding your tribe asking them questions et Cetera. What do you have? What advice do you have for introverts? People that are married to each Mikey's so I seem like an extra. The question was what do you do for introverts? Ice Seem like an extrovert? I'm an ambivert I know. It sounds dirty but it's not it's just in the middle of the scale and I actually have a very small tribe like you don't have to have a ten person tribe. You can have a two person tried. They give at the end of your life. You can count on one hand the people who have truly been there for you and been your support and your friends. That's a blessed life and it doesn't you don't have to be an extrovert to say thank you and Meena and thank people for something specific. You don't have to be a jokester or or be the center of attention. You just have to decide that you want to take your life back because resilience is built by taking back that controlling getting out of reactivity. Good question yes. Ma'am thank you very much for the session as you spoke. I thought a lot of my sister who has similar challenges to what you've dealt with with your son and finding the strength to help her be resilient and it's what I struggle with and do you have advice for getting somebody to see what you've talked through today. I mean I wish I could tell you. There's a magic formula like if you use this one thing that you'll teach other people but the truth is our own individual journey and we have to figure it out for ourselves. These are all skills. Happiness is not a trait. It's a skill. Gratitude is not a trait. It's a skill. Resilience is a skill and if we view it as every time we fail we have catastrophically ended the world. Then there is no way to use that failure as a lesson so if anything take more risks fail faster. Be Willing to make mistakes. We do something way different in our brain when we're worried about being compared to other people than when we're trying to get better who cares whether bombies getting promoted moving ahead faster and I struggle with this too. I don't want to sound hypocritical before I came on stage. I was like Oh. The room was fuller for the last speaker. We all do we all do it. It's life it's human. It's catching yourself in that moment. Being aware of it and move on. That's what it is. Yes thanks so much for sharing. Today this conference is a nice little reset for me and I'm assuming a lot of other people. I'm wondering if you can share after your your fall with your foot. Everything what sorts of things you did to reset your self care how you got back on track okay. So the question is what did I do to reset and get back on track? Well one I let myself sit in grief. We try to microwave grief and uncomfortable emotions but true resilience means we have to sit with them and be okay with that. You can't run from the uncomfortable emotions. Because without experiencing an m you can't experience the great ones with the same level of intensity. You have to let yourself be still. Everybody goes through difficult stuff. The goal is not to outrun it. Mindfulness means you observe it. Don't judge it and that's so hard to do. Everybody should have a therapist or a coach. I love my therapist. She has a therapist. I mean we all need one so I went to therapy. I started exercising. I made a vision board of pictures with big smiles. I made a picture of me. Standing NEXT TO OPRAH WINFREY IN BROWN AND ELLEN DEGENERES. I practiced gratitude and thanked God that I had one side of my face. That could still smile because I never knew how much missed my smile. I made myself be with friends when that's the last thing I wanted to do because I was in a deep depression but it's one day at a time. It's one choice at A. Nobody gets this all right. We tend to look around like everybody else. Has this secret magical key to a happy life that we're missing. I don't know if you've ever felt like that. Nobody has the secret key. We're all just doing the very best. We can give people the benefit of the doubt. Most people don't wake up and go can't wait to pissing people off today. We're doing the best we can. Hi Thank you for being here today. I wanted to thank you for talking about gratitude. Because I think that's really important but my question is how do you make sure gratitude doesn't limit you because I feel like some? Oh I'm thankful to have a roof in food. I shouldn't ask for more so like trying to be grateful but not letting it limit you in any way so as a great question the more you practice gratitude the easier it gets to find good stuff and it doesn't mean you can't be ambitious or want more. It means that before you can appreciate all of that stuff. You GotTa be appreciative of the things you start with running water. I mean seriously that could be something so small. I spoke at a conference where they had nasty stuff in the water and I was so thirsty. I took a drink and swigged it all down. It was super gross. I woke up the next morning. Thank you for clean water. And that's because that gross water was still drinkable right. It doesn't mean I don't WanNa be on a bigger stage or meet Michelle Obama. It doesn't mean that I'm not working on my third book right now and want it to be hugely successful or all of you speak and lead your event. It doesn't mean that but I wake up every day going. Thank you for the smile. Thank you for my thank you for the fact that I get to go out and make my own day to day and not leave it up to anybody else. Our moot should not be dependent on other people. It's about US taking control. Good yes Ma'am Hi there. First of all I was in this one as well as the loss one and you guys both kicked out. So you're and my question was about you. Talked about you know being busy being a common refrain every day that you hear from yourself from other people. Do you have any strategies for catching yourself or catching someone else? When this does get brought up every day. Yeah so it's replacing. The thought was something else so I used to say. I'm so overwhelmed them so stressed. I'm so busy now. I say my life is really full be bored if it wasn't you know the truth. Is We complain about busy. But as soon as we're bored we fill it with other stuff. Take time to be still in the morning for a few minutes. Do not check your device thirty minutes after you wake up or thirty minutes before you go to bed. It's called building a mental moat around your day. It's something Sean Acre developed. And it's so true because as soon as that happens we allow our brain to be hijacked. And then we're in reactivity the rest of the day take a few minutes when you wake up even if you have to wake up earlier and just take some deep breaths. Three deep breaths will your entire nervous system. You can take five. Take depress while tracing your hand under the table at work at your meeting right little things that you can do stopping yourself throughout the day. If you're eating lunch at your desk stop people who eat lunch at their day. Have a significant increased risk of heart disease diabetes women who work more than forty hours or fifty one hours a week.