Dr Martha, United States, Apple discussed on Dear Sugars
Welcome to kind world, I'm yes-men, Amer and I'm Andrea a he so last week we talked all about meaningful gatherings. If you haven't heard conversation with Priya Parker, go back and listen. She's got some great tips, but this week we're talking about the polar opposite of gathering being alone. We've all felt lonely at some point in our lives, but the reality is loneliness is so much more than a bad feeling. It's a public health crisis that affects more than half of adults in the US. Many. People feel that if they're lonely. That means that they're not likeable or that. They're broken in some way and I certainly felt that as a child that was one of the reasons I never told my parents all those years. I struggled with loneliness. In fact, feeling alone, and we WANNA, ultimately address loneliness. We have to figure out how to eradicate that stigma and help people see loneliness from what it is, which is a human condition that all of his experience at some point in our lives. This is the former US surgeon general Dr Viv AAC morphe- who served from the end of two thousand fourteen until twenty seventeen. He's the author of together the healing power of human connection in sometimes lonely world, and just make it even more clear. Listen to the scientific finding Dr Martha told us so. Loneliness is associated with an increased risk of heart disease of depression, anxiety of premature death of sleep, disturbances of dementia of impaired wound healing, and the list goes on when studies have actually looked at them. Mortality impact associated with loneliness. What they have found is that that mortality impact is similar to the mortality impact seen with smoking fifteen cigarettes a day. Okay fifteen cigarettes a day. That is almost a full pack. In one day. We were shocked when we heard this. How can loneliness cost so much damage? Well, Dr Martha says it's because it puts our minds and bodies in this primal and unsustainable state. Loneliness is a natural signal that our body sends us when we're lacking something that we need for survival in this case, human connection, we literally need him. In connection for survival in that sense is very similar to hunger. Thirst signals at our body sends up when we're. We're lacking food or water now we if we respond to that signal by getting a meal or a drinking some water than the hunger, thirst will subside similarily, we seek out connection with others. If you pick up the phone to call a friend, get in the car and go visit a relative. That loneliness may subside, but when the loneliness persists for a long period of time is when we run into trouble, because physiologically loneliness induces a stress state in our body, and in the short term stress, states can motivate. Motivate you to action in the long term, they're associated with increased levels of inflammation. That's associated with an increased risk of heart, disease and other chronic illnesses. The chronic illnesses are what surgeon general's have focused on in the past and Dr. Murphy said that was initially his plan to when he came into office, but when he actually traveled and spoke to citizens across the country. He had an epiphany. What I recognize overtime was behind. Those stories were so many threads of loneliness. People would often say I feel I have to. To deal with all of these challenges by myself, or if you if I disappear tomorrow, no one would even notice or feel invisible and hearing that again and again from college students from parents from people in remote fishing villages in Alaska to members of Congress in Washington C.. It struck me that something deeper was happening here. He'd heard that a lot, too as a practicing physician, and he knew it was a problem, but addressing loneliness. It wasn't taught in Med school when you enter a profession like medicine or nursing. Because you want to help people and relieve suffering, and when you see people suffering in front of you from 'cause you have no idea how to address something like loneliness. He doesn't feel good, and that's how I felt when I was in the hospital. And I. Encounter patients who were alone and I didn't know what to do and I felt I wasn't serving them. All of this inspired him to make this topic loneliness, the focus of tenure as surgeon general, he looked into how loneliness affects people of all genders, ages, cultural backgrounds and socioeconomic levels Dr Murphy can even draw a line between loneliness and another pervasive illness in our country racism. I remember what it felt like to be called out or having dark skin for people making assumptions about me, calling me pejorative names. And even as a child I remember feeling to sense of shame when people tell you that you're less than that, you don't matter and they were inferior. You internalize some of that for me. As a child, I remember reacting to it by withdrawing further and further into my shell. and. Here's the thing about loneliness. That is so challenging. Feel connected from other people. You would think while our instinct should be to reconnect, but there's a paradoxical said of wheels that are set in motion if you will. On that actually functioned to deepen our loneliness when we experienced cleanliness, and so when we feel separated from other people, whether that's because we don't have the connections around us that we used to have, or because we're feeling uttered and made to feel inferior, an isolated we enter into this trustee, and in that stress date because we're worried about our safety are focused turns increasingly inward, we also become hyper, vigilant, more likely to perceive threats around us, and we also experienced this erosion of self esteem. As over time we can come to believe that may be the reason we're being offered. Maybe the reason we're alone is because there's something wrong with us. It's hard to imagine a way to overcome such a deeply rooted issue like loneliness, but Dr Martha says it's possible to start healing ourselves and our communities because he's seen it happen all around the world. After the break we hear more from Dr Morphe- on some proven solutions to battling loneliness, and how we can keep loneliness at bay at a time when social distancing is crucial to our survival. Kind world is sponsored by Apple. Books we've been telling you about the new book from Oprah's Book Club, but why not hear it from the herself? Hello, everyone. I'm excited to share my expert club. Pick with you, Deacon King Kong by James McBride a story of connections and community in nineteen, sixty nine New York City the characters will crack you up and make you cry. Get Deacon King Kong at Apple. Dot Co splash over. Then explore millions of other books and audiobooks on the apple books APP. Download today and read with. Welcome back to kind world today. We're speaking with Dr Vivek Murthy. The former US surgeon general author of together the healing power of human connection in a sometimes lonely world. Have you seen any really great examples of people? Getting together some community building or outreach that has helped. Break that stigma a little bit. To share the story of Serena. Who during her freshman year at the University of Pennsylvania extra experience, extreme loneliness, and she built these wonderful gatherings called space gatherings. Where students could come.