Dr Johnny Depp, Johnny Depp Dior, Fuck Nahra discussed on Congratulations with Chris D'Elia

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

APP. Hey what's up taeby. You know I used own. It's episode whatever congratulations podcast and and this is how we're doing it I'm Krista your host and I'm Chris Co host. We got no. We got one host. Dude ooh drinking water do singing about this well first of all. Let's do this. I got San Diego selling out now. We don't go into San Diego but we go because the demand is there and so we're going to San Diego. There's very few tickets left on my second show on Saturday Saturday so get those tickets now October Nineteenth San Diego. It's sprinkles theater we got Christie Lee alive in the house then and then we've got him Kristalina Saliha at Riverside Santa Bob. We've got them in Santa Barbara October twelfth good christly account and get tickets here and Bethlehem Pennsylvania uncalled Bethlehem because that was apparently Jesus Christ was born in Pennsylvania. We got two shows Bethlehem November November second tickets flying off the shelves. You gotta go. Oh you gotta get rid of Rochester New York going Royal Oak Michigan Detroit Michigan. We got a few shows in Detroit. Michigan summer sold out and Buffalo Hello Michigan even though she'd just be different named other than new Buffalo. It shouldn't be new buffalo because there's already a buffalo in New York. Just have your own city and don't call it new Buffalo. call it. Some like Pottstown doesn't matter what the vote Gal don't call it new something they did it in Mexico and that's one of the shittiest places shittiest place. This is New Mexico has some nice pockets but overall. It's Shitty fucking. What's it called Good Ed as Nice as Nice for MOMS. Santa Fe's Nice for MOMS and you know it's not nate nice for the house because of all the toe to toe turquoise jewelry breath you go to fuck in Santa Fe. You never seen Moore Turquoise Jewelry in your life you could go to albuquerque some turquoise jewelry and then you'll go to fuck in Santa. Fe and you see more Turco's jewelry. Oh my God Bro. It's so much turquoise jewelry going to Tampa Florida and Melbourne Florida we're going to Hollywood Florida El Paso Texas choose. We're going to use the Jackal t use the thirtieth period for some reason go to Peoria Illinois for some reason one reason. We're GONNA Peoria. Illinois backs 'cause bags. somebody on my. We're live on my APP. Somebody said they saw me in spokane cool good comment. Thanks a lot thanks for coming out. Man saw me and spokane very cool yeah so that's what's up man dude and it's another day another dollar and when people say that do. I get riled up. Yes because it's more than one dollar a day but as always one day it's always one day but it's always more than one dollar. Nobody's making one dollar a day unless you live in Uganda and they're. They're not saying a dollar a day. They're saying something else in a different way. Different language thank God for comedian because say things composer politician. My race would end immediately all the time no matter what but it's all good you can't even be fucking. Johnny Depp Nowadays. Johnny Depp can't even fucking I can do it guys. Turn it what happened Johnny Depp. Everyone fucking hates them all of a sudden all of a sudden everyone's I can. You know what actually fuck Johnny Depp. Everyone loved Johnny Depp. He was like the guy and then all of a sudden. Everyone was like you know what Nah why because as you dress like an Indian a few times what happened. Why can't dress like an Indian anymore nope. Can't you see that your your ad. The is a Christian Dior. Is that what it was whatever it was fucking. Johnny Depp is fucking cancelled right so it's all good cancel cultures crazy man. I ah you blow the fuck are cancels. That's what I'm going to start calling you. I don't know if that's probably thing already but your counselors Johnny Depp Dior ad pulled amid cultural tro appropriation outcry crazy. These mother fuckers buckled to these these people. You know what it should just. You know what it should be. That should just be full pulled because it's fucking stupid. How about that. Have you seen it. He's dressed like a fucking asshole. You're not Indian and you know what I mean. fucking Johnny Depp Rail and on what is he doing even dior savant. Josh Cicak itself. Osh like don't have to earings in one ear Hayes as your ear one ear is it two years Johnny Depp fucking digging a hole and bury a necklace and putting all his jewelry jewelry and they're under a rock. Hey that's not the Dr Johnny Depp's in saying period. That's it but why do we hate him. He doesn't know Oh. He's been famous since he was fucking three. See here's the thing about cultural appropriation and cancel culture cancel culture was we had it man. You had it right there. You had it right there. It was fucking on on and Poppin Dude. We did too much white guys and shit. They did too much much and they were and they were they were on top for too long and they were boring is fuck and they were abusing their power and then the people were like you know what at that ain't cool and everyone started to listen because they were right because they were right all this me too should cancel culture all this fucking cultural population Asian. Everyone was like you know what maybe these people have a point. Maybe maybe everyone else has a point. Maybe White Guys Rhonda for too long and they just got to fucking big for bridges and then what happened was you were like the hot what you were like the hot chick that we just started dating that. The world just started dating. You were the hot chick and you're like God. Damn look at this girl walk into this. Fuckin- cafe look at them. Look at them fucking. You know all the the dudes were looking them dead. He's looking at. NYC backside goes on for days and we were listening to you dude because 'cause you walked in and you were the most banks chick ever you would like to chick that all of a sudden turn like twenty one twenty two that everyone was starting to pay attention to figure out how to do or make up and we're like wow and we started dating cancelled culture. We started dating the Shit Outta. You Dude and about three or four or five months in which is a year in whatever whatever the fuck you. WanNa say it who he realized Holy Shit Man. You're a lot to deal with and you're fucking complaining away too much and that's what happened and then we started getting okay. You know what we were. We had sex we were laying you out and it was funny. Shit having romantic dinners learning about you dude. We were learning about you. Cancel Culture and we were on your side and you just did not take it back. I don't it's not good enough weight you. You did that one too many times you went. I don't like the temperature one too many times and then all of a sudden. We were like you know what we can't win. Fuck it Johnny Depp Kerr Turquoise. Now Fuck it you can't. We can't win if we can't win. We're out if we can't win. We wash our the hands. I've said this before we don't care what you I don't care what you believe in believing what you WanNa believe in but you can't I care about the way you believe in it. That's the thing you were the hot chick that was banging and you had it all. All you had to do was picked a right shit to complain about. It's fine to walk into a guy's in place for the first time. It'd be like oh you keep the couch over here. We go. We're blinded by Teddy's. Yeah may may the couch with a couch. You have the wrong. The End table should be not in the middle of the two couches should be on the end of the couches and you should l. the couch so you can watch the bachelor with me better. I I just I didn't with where we had like that because when guys come over game used table too but I guess you're right though what he's saying saying instead of. I guess you're right. Though in real life is blinded by teddy's yeah the couch should be an L. shape. Keep because of your waistline see that's the thing and then what happened was just moved the couch coach too fucking much dude and now when you say something's cultural appropriation or if you say you know. I Suck Dick and it was bullshit. We go like this dude. I liked the couch the another way I liked the God. Damn End Table on the end of the couch. I don't I like it. I like it. I like it separating the two couches so now we're going back to playing game that you mother fuckers. Go ahead if Johnny Depp Torque than we're going back to game night man you could be paying in his fuck but everyone gets tired of the relationship man so be careful what you complain about that's it. That's it when you you start saying you know Chris. Hardwick did this though and the croissant were got the text messages right here. This is the proof. Oh we're back to playing fucking game night man now. Do I know enough about those situations now. I don't is okay to talk about what I'm talking about. Maybe comedian yes so. Does it really matter no mother fuckers. I don't know whatever it's like. Believe what you want but once you fucking I can hit that you know the pendulum you fucking shit for everyone who actually really does have a problem and that's it and that's all I have to say about that side of the Fuck Nahra. I was flying back on some airline. I was flying back on American Airlines which sucks. Lax is when you fly from Albuquerque to lax lakes and you fucking go to the American they they land at another place and then you gotta take a Goddamn train or a bus to another place we gotta stand and do the thing where you grab it on the fucking you're grabbing onto the flu handles and you're just bouncing all back and forth and and and you don't even mean to but you have to touch somebody inappropriately because you hit a bump and you're waiting for like a goddamn seven forty seven across her path and you're in this thing and you bump your Dick into some fucking skateboard lesbian girl and you're like Oh shit. I'm sorry and she's dressed like fuck in you..

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