Damon Lindelof, Hetero Normativity, Nigel Campbell discussed on Homophilia
There's been talks about whether or not we should all meet up and I just for for. There will probably come a day where they meet each other for right now. It's not really something that I think is necessary Yeah it's just sort of Yeah they don't try other other than the two of them. Are you open beyond that are you? Yeah you're able to sort of. Yeah I can continue. Seeing other people can see who? I want I want. I mean it's great as you can imagine right. Now it's really difficult juggling than Broadway show so it's it's kind of a lot and I'm not necessarily looking for anyone but like I said what the the mentality of it really is. Just trying to remain open to any and all things that life throws at you be that romantic. Be that career-wise. Be THAT ANY ANY DIFFERENT WAY. That that can manifest and so really. It's just me attempting to not put boundaries on myself not put rules on myself and trying to break free of a lot of like old. Hetero normative ideas of what a relationship is and what a relationship pass to be and you know a lot of people who think that I'm trashed and there are a lot of people think that like I'm That this doesn't make sense and it won't work and maybe it won't and maybe they're right but there's There's an interesting road that I'm on right now. I'm in my thirties. So I'm like I think I kind of have a sense of who I am and what I'm doing so yeah it's been interesting to walk in that path but the the rules that would define you as trash are based on ideals and ideas concepts that don't apply to. Us exactly exactly. I mean the the sort of yeah. I mean the the anyone that would call me trash for what I'm thinking right now is kind of. I think feeding into these old ideas that are established by Hetero normativity. And like you know this idea that like. Who can one thing? I've gotten a lot of people not a lot but some people have said you know we fought for marriage equality and we fought for this. And I'm like yeah absolutely we. We fought for marriage equality because civil rights. The thing that we should all have. It doesn't mean that I have to then commit to. It means that I should have the right just like you do to get married if I want to. I almost cursed. I'm sorry I don't know how to back. Yes okay fuck yeah okay But like you know my whole mentality of it is just like all the as a gay black person. All of the forms that are in place for me are all of the forms that are sort of in place have been established by whiteness and Hetero normativity really sort of the hedge hegemonic ideas of what we are socially and I'm just trying to break that down for myself again. I'm not saying anyone else needs to apply this to their way of life but I'm trying to get out of the mentality that says the way things have been as the way things should be and as long as I'm not hurting anyone as long as I'm not breaking any laws any reasonable laws. I think that I you know anyone that would call me. Trash is dealing with their own insecurity and dealing with their own bullshit and it's not really on me to take that on so you can call me trash if you want to. I. I've been called way worse and know their trash. It's to- it's one thing I've realised at this point in my life just getting to where I am at Lake. You know anyone that feels label your anyone. That feels the need to denigrate. Us doing it. Because they're they're riddled with insecurity and they don't understand themselves and so in order to better understand themselves they need to try and put you down and they need to try and rid a ridicule. You so to that I say fuck off and if you need to. That's fine I I don't give a shit so I can do and say whatever you want but I'm still gonna live the life that I'm living the way I want to live and I'm going to try as hard as I can to take care of the people that I love and take care of the people that I care about and do what I'm doing and breakdown all these fucking models of you know crap that of these models that have told me that I'm less than a man or that I'm less than a human or that. The way I love is sinful and I choose not to hear it. I choose not to live that life anymore. And it's given me a lot of agency and a lot more self esteem to be completely honest. I don't I don't hate myself anymore the way I did for a long time because all these structures that told me I wasn't good enough for that I wasn't that I was a center or that. I was an awful person or that I was dumb. I I just. Don't let them rule me anymore. So that's beautiful to do Oprah. I fix my life special. Which is another thing we could. I move on their casting by the way they're casting for now. Yeah Yeah I we should let her listen to this episode. Maybe she'll she have some thoughts or maybe she's going to be like can I? Can I can teach me something. I would love to hang out with the online John pollyanna week coach. Do you have a spiritual practice? I Don I four. I'm God that's such A. What is your relationship to religion? I grew up baptist. I grew up in a pretty I would say my immediate family was sort of like nominally. I don't WanNa say nominally Christian because my my parents are and my brother and his family are are I. I don't know if they all still go to church. I know my mom's still go to church but We were raised Christian. We were raised. You know which a lot of that is me in high school rebelling against or I want. I wasn't even rebelling at that point. It was me feeling so conflicted because I was understanding all these things about God and understanding how I fit into it and realizing that everything I was thinking feeling and doing was a sin and everything that I was everything that I was was hated in the eyes of God. You know and also you know like we. We worship Jesus Christ. That looks like Brad Pitt. I mean we worship of Jesus Christ with white skin and who flaxen hair and we're told that this is this is whose image we that God made and I don't look like that and I I got tired of feeling like I was crap and so I I think I over very long period of time developed this idea that I need to sort of go my own way and I think I got out of the idea of religion in. Creationism was a big part of it. Because I just couldn't believe in it especially in the face of evolution and I started to answer your initial question I sound so gooby of me and my group I mean Gwyneth paltrow but it sounds so like new agey. I kind of believe in energy I believe in. I believe that there are. I don't believe that there's anything in the world that can't be understood. That doesn't mean that we can understand it. There are so many things in the world in the universe that we are outside of the capacity of our understanding them. That doesn't mean that they don't have a logic or that they don't have a rationale to it. The idea of of God and I don't want to offend anyone but like the idea of God is inherently illogical right and it's it it supposes a level of belief in it supposes a BA- level a level of faith that I think is really beautiful and admirable to anyone that has it. It's just not for me. It's just not I really tried to let logic and reason rationality guide the way I think and I said so in that regard and I try to. I try to use the idea of like you know matter is neither created nor destroyed so all all the things that we have today have been around since the beginning of time and they will be until the end of time and that is something that we can understand and that is something that is to a certain extent tangible. But it's also something. That's totally understandable. What's the word I'm looking for? It's totally something that we can't even thank you something. That's totally incomprehensible it. Something we can't fathom so that for me is religion. That for me is spirituality. This idea that there is. We have all the tools of the world at our disposal right now. We don't understand them all. We won't understand them all boat. We could understand them and someone or something could understand it and for a lot of people may be that idea is God and maybe that is what their faith and religion are which is why the last thing I would ever want to do is disrespect anyone's faith or belief system. I just think that I've decided to call that thing. That thing is my sort of spirituality that that idea that the world can be understood but we won't necessarily understand it's an unsolved mystery. Yeah we're comfortable like the show. I used to watch the nineties. My mom unsolved mysteries religion song. Let the mystery be from Iris. Dement oh yeah no did pull it up on your on your spotify or apple music. The second thing for US Dave. This various immerse singer for us. I'm not going to do. That is also the theme song from the leftovers. That show was my religion. Okay see I watched the first two or three episodes of that show and it was not getting into it and I love Damon Lindelof. I love lost. Oh my God watchmen is the best thing. I think I've ever seen ever Speaking of like mainstream television especially for a black person that show the things. Have you seen it? I'm like halfway through but have you seen it. I did it all now. Oh my God the second you get home. I'll I'll look up the song that you just told Cup. If you start watching watchmen. Can we agree on that? It's a it's a. It's a deal so I don't remember the name of the song but I remember it would be less. Let the mystery be led the mystery. Be Okay you asked me what I was watching. Watchmen is something that I I think everyone in the world needs to watch it deals with the the The nine hundred twenty one massacre in Oklahoma that no one talks about but history has sort of. I won't say forgotten but you know we you know it was. It was a massacre of a black town. A Black Wall Street the successful black community that was destroyed. Because why people didn't like it basically and you know to have that you're launching point for a show about like sort of latter day superheroes foes superheroes. It's just brilliant. And and then the way it weaves black legacy Black history into the show the way the origin story of the have you gotten to that episode the or destroy of hooded justice. No I won't ruin anything but the way it leaves in the history of the KKK the history of racism in this country. It uses All of that to establish a black superhero that is as a black person who has often felt overlooked and under seen. It was such a powerful moment of like. Oh I'm seeing right now and and you know there's elements of clearness there's elements of Black Women with Regina King are given such a great Platform to show a a multitude of ideas and and different ways than what? We've just always seen with regard to black people. It's just it's the most amazing show. I think I've ever seen I don't know how we got on that. And I Apologize Leftovers. Damon. Yes so that's what I was saying. I there was. I watched the first episode or something or two episodes and there was a scene where they like stoned a woman to death who was smoking and like. I was just like. I don't know if I'm feeling this but then everyone told me that's like oh you got to stick with it though especially the next couple of seasons. Yes so good. He's pretty profound. And and Dowd and Carrie coon and this cast is just incredible. But Yeah it's not a fun ride now. It's like everything I was fearing about the inheritance. All exactly what you would experience. I would say it's Yeah. It's everything you get with regard to the inheritance. It's everything you think like the leftovers is going to be. But it's like so it's so fun and lights in in many regards and then it's really having intense other regards. I can't wait. I have to check out the leftovers. I will definitely give that another shot because all really good things. They've all got homework. Yes we do. We'RE GONNA discuss it on the dance floor at Oil Cantieri while line dancing Jordan. Thank you so so much for doing this. Thank you. What a joy. Thank you so much Nigel Campbell. Who connected us with you? Thanks Nigel jokes. I love you and you have to come and be on the show soon And Yeah I'll see you on stage Sunday all right. I'll.