Gore, Football, Edinburgh discussed on Serious Inquiries Only
I have three siblings, and he just from early on that I would never ever go to your wedding. And we were like, okay, that's the normal thing. That's don't do that. And then later on when you know, we all are now, married. You know, it's like what an asshole what an he. He's a gore phobic. He's he has horrifying Zaidi. But he never would if you would have just said, you know, that's the one thing I keep going back to and there's one of the quick example. I just one time in college. When I was first started a little before I started realizing this was not normal because it's still was probably into my early twenties. It was like, oh, this is normal. You know, and one example was someone had gotten some tickets to football game, which is not football American football and super excited, and they had one for me, my friend him and then one extra and I thought this'll be great, right? You know, my dad loves loves football. We'll go I called him. And he I said, yeah, this is essentially like we can go do this. This'll be this'll be fantastic. And I remember just a long pause that I didn't understand and just him him kind of struggling a little bit and saying like. I'm going to have to say, no. And that was all he told me, you know, any he could never admit that he had any sort of weakness that something he just could not do we had to present this image of being this perfect, strong authoritarian. Sometimes father end in retrospect, I think I was so confused. I was like I didn't understand why couldn't we just do this thing. And if you just said one time in our lives, I I have an illness. You know, I have a problem. It would have been so much easier that it was just reminded me of the way of kind of sometimes shielding of not being able to talk about anxiety. Some there was a friend of mine. He works to Samaritans talked about when they get elderly women ringing up. And the game is played. Where said, quote, an old woman ring ring up and say, I'm sure wrong wrong line. I'm sure she's not the right to come. So sorry from waiting on. Got a lot of close to get rid of a lot of men's clothes. I want to donate them something to you know, a charts shopping. They are living and two. Oh, y'all just say, oh, yeah. There's a yeah. There's an ox finally what food and then the person that knows to go. Can I just toss the white? You have so many opens men's clothes. Oh, my husband's just with can't ring up and say, I'm having a lot of problems of just us. My husband the have to create a narrative to kind of stop that sense of shame the one count you just ring up. It's it's an incredible merry. Go round. Is a bizarre thing that we can't just go things skew with. Yeah. I'm I'm really sorry. That you went who that comment it's not to excuse debts. But I think that generation I think old will the most American men, maybe he will. June, the depression and also British guys, of course, just got told that you don't feel things when you guy you can feel Anga, but that's it. And you just squash it all down. And you pretend you pretend it doesn't exist because it's weakness and men should not be weak and mentioned not cry. And it is the sad is sad is saying, and that's why I think he could never tell you. And he could never tell me. And my dad pissed it in saying that therapy was something that he didn't believe in. It was stupid. It was pointless. It was a waste of time. What was amazing? My dad could recommend it for other people but not like. Therapies? Yeah. No. That'd be great show at the Edinburgh fringe fest, you can fly.