Making Peace with Your Family
Their feud has been brewing since childhood last year during a family trip things got so bad. They came to actual blows. Their father had to pull them apart bobby and robin our sisters but they barely speak Robin says the sound of bobbies voice makes her sick Nicole they're younger sister Peter. Their little brothers say enough is enough the Cole Road to us in hopes that we could help bring her sisters back together. Father Peter. Senior is also here. If, you have conflicts within your family and let me just say who doesn't this show. We'll give you a whole new way to deal with them. It could save you years and years of pain Mark Brian says, he wrote this book codes of Love How to rethink your family and remake your life because he used to hate his own family he stayed away from them for over ten years throughout the show mark is going to be telling us how he changed all that and how you can too. So we're not here just to have because you know you can watch one of those other shows where people, chairs and Viewed as they bring out surprise family members, you haven't seen in a long time. That's not what we're GONNA. Do we're here to try to resolve it and for the millions of you who are also separated from your family to try to bring back some sense of coat of love that you once had memories of that earlier this week mark heard both sides of this family feud starting with Bobby Nicole and Peter. At Different Times Robin has stopped speaking to each of us that she has low self esteem and. She whenever argument comes up she says to me that I I think I'm better than everybody else and that I'm a goody goody and. And this type of staff. Which of course, upsets me last week I went for lunch with Robin and a few of our cousins, the bridesmaids kind of thing for Robin's wedding to discuss things and I just felt that bobby should have been involved with that. That would have been you know more of A. Total package I'm to the point now where it's like okay. You. Go ahead and behave that way. Not. Going to let it bug me. I have tried to contact her and she has my number blocked. She has your number blocked live in the country can't do that on my phone. So I don't have a number of locked and I have an answering machine and I've never had any messages about. Mark spent time with Robin to hear her version. I've always felt like the black sheep. Always felt like. Fingers always point to that me. I always felt like troublemaker. I've been accused of being over emotional. I've been accused of being. sleazy. have been accused of being slutty. I've been accused of. Basically, everything out there. in particular with my sister Bobby. I. I. Always felt compared to her. I always felt like I had to live up to. My parents, expectations. Of the expectations that she set? What are the three happiest moments of your life. They don't include family. Or? My parents were there when my daughter was born. Thought was one of the happiest moments midlife. My Dad was there when I graduated I. Guess that was another happy moment. The, day I moved out with the happiest moment of my life. And I honestly, truly with all my heart believe that was the best thing ever did because I've come so far sets. If you could go back in time, what would you change? I would I would change. I would put myself with the different family. But you can't do that down. So mark says there four basic steps to help you refrain reconnect with your family and they are I remember what are the good things? So many times in today's psychology we're looking at the bad things. My parents do that messed me up I, WanNa look back at what's the pleasant things were the strengths and the and the love and the loyalty that I've been given for these two, five fifty how old we are those years? The second one is we want to reflect on that. We want to see what's my part in this dynamic in my family when am I at fault and also I don't want to end the blame and the labeling you know. She's the black sheep she's the she's the goody two shoes she's been labeled to by other members of her family is the goody two shoes we want to be out of those labels. So we want to reflect on that what are part is and what's the larger picture of our family? labeled. Early, you just sort of follow that pattern absolutely. Yes. Yes. I have never told Robin she slutty. I've never used those words that she used on her. I'm always careful I don't offend with what I say and ever since we're very young, robin has done things on purpose. she just says whatever she wants whether it hurts your feelings or not. So the slutty thing but those terms that you're using those are not terms that she used or is that what you think she thinks of you. Okay. It might have been another family member but everybody was sitting there and it was them against me and that's how it was portrayed. But. Then again, sitting up here, acting like she's a goody two shoes I wouldn't be here if we didn't have problems. You know who? Didn't cause all my family's problems. We're not here just because of me and you know what? I don't even think there's a lot of family problems here beyond some role definition and the next thing we're going to do is we're going to take a look and refrain these experiences from this. New Perspective. Where we learned where each of us is trying to show concern, but it's being misconstrued as criticism or. As control.