DPT Mini - Jay Light - Your Son Is A Liar

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Can you? Turn the light on Jay light is here Jay hi hello do Jay light is one of our favorite comics for those who don't know he's been on this show before he is just one of the best joke writers. We know it's one of the reasons why I love the comedy store and I missed the comedy store so much in this time so much because it was. It was an opportunity for people like us who do the road and and headline clubs and whatnot in all over to also interface with a whole new generation of up come up and coming comedians doing the roast battle fruit. We I saw you on the roads battle. You were amazing. We saw you do three minutes to stand up in the show before the rose battle and we're like this kid's really good and then over time we just became friends and started like help each other with each other stand up and writing and roasting and all that stuff and you've been so good us throughout the years we appreciate you. Appreciate y'all so much. It's it's been real pleasure to get to to know you guys and work the all and and and now we're here. We're here you've done the show in studio and you understand our philosophy that the world is dumber. The pandemic hasn't stopped that as a roast battle comedian. That's what you you immediately just turn on the I got a roast the world, right? Exactly. That's that's the only way to cope I mean. That's what that's what God's doing with the with all the fires in the West Coast. She's Alad. Got We're seeing the world through rose colored glasses. While the world is getting dumber and I know you believe that too because we've talked about it at length Daniel van Kirk is here. Hi Dan. WHAT'S UP BUDDY It is time to just jump into a story. We'll get an historian midway through and we take a break. We'll come back and talk about Jay lights new comedy album, which you're GONNA want to check out but let's jump into this. Okay, ready. Yes. A boy in New Zealand though this was sending by curling McDermott by the way at she be car lean to isse she be Carleen. Toys R. US she, Charlie. Your excuse for somebody's behavior well she. Carleen right. Carleen sounds like nickelodeon show doesn't it? She carleen tonight at nine right after that. So Raymond Yeah. Boy In new, Zealand finally had a missing piece of Lego fall out of his nose after he pushed his nostril not I mean. Now, if you don't watch your kids these days and I know Jay Light, you don't have kids that you know about. But if you watch your kid if you're not watching your kids stamp dance set out video I, highly recommend if you're not falling down on twitter, you must learn instagram on instagram Dan put a video on twitter that we immediately sent to her mom that was making us laugh. So hard have you seen this j the kid trying to make cupcakes are candidates yeah, and eating all. Right out of the ball he. A whole stick of butter but. It's an Ano, he has an animalistic dry. It's a compulsion. Not Be able to stop eating the thing and the second, the authority figure, the MOM or the grandma grandma turns away for one hot second. He's got everything a handful of. Like raw egg, and that is what kids are lead. Shoving it in. Double Fisting it Roy. Ingredients. We never want to hear the term double fisting when referring to a kid. Unless Lesser Punch. Punching the muster punching Well I was GONNA ask you guys. Did you guys have any like up the nose in the ear I swallowed it. With your kids your kids but my dog one time when we had an English bulldog, our old one virgil like he we fed, he just started throwing up like every time we would feed him he would it would go in and then it would. He would throw it up more like Jesus. What's wrong we took him in and he had like a the the doctors put down like a tube that also had something that could retrieve stuff that might be blocking because they're like something's blocking it. They pulled out like a this was like about a inch, maybe three inch high like action figure with a pedestal base of a rooster and I'm like we don't even own where did he get that? Then it was like that has just been hanging out with other kids and other. was like who wants a three inch high rooster as a toy to play with? That's the dumbest idea. So then you're now you're just shaming the kid. Here. And there was also like a belt yet about I can story. Yeah. So Vance. We was Thanksgiving probably like, nineteen, ninety. Two maybe ninety three. Vance was born with his esophagus didn't connect to his stomach. So when he was like this is my younger brother so Like hours after being born, they had to do life saving surgery obviously, and so there was a kink where the the fake tube at the Asaf against and so food wasn't like chopped up enough. On it and we get stuck in his in his ASAF, esophageal? Whatever. Cough it up right and so this was like nothing new you get used to it at while you make sure his food is. Another. It'd be a little kid like that's too big of a bite. Vance. So. One thanksgiving. Vance starts coughing up but he hasn't eaten anything everybody's like okay. Advances token. And I know it's Kinda like Brandon, Wade, in Christmas store. Hang it up about as hour. so He's like Jokin. Call. An outcomes a wheel like A. Motorcycle and my Uncle Cans Dad. Clarence never he goes. We sit here long enough that whole Goddamn bike. That's. killed

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