How do i change my partner right without nagging him so i i want to tackle her a specific question. She mentioned behavior patterns. And i think a lot of times we make demands on our partner. So you know a lot of times. What we do is we hold things in. And it bruce we get angry resentful until it explodes then. It's like if you don't stop doing this or that or if you don't change then i'm out right so you have to express way before that happens the way that you express it and we'll get into but i just wanted to point out the first thing you do. Is you have to express it when you feel that you know. You can't allow it to grow into this ball of resentment because you you approaching him and for him. It's going to be the first time right if you've been holding this in. It's going to be alarming. It's not going to be fair. You know so. I think we all have a responsibility to express the change. We want to see in our partner when when it starts to affect us. So i'm not talking about like i'm not talking about dating potential in wanting to change your partner because you think that's the best for them. That's that's a whole different topic conversation. I'm talking about when your partner does something that affects you right. So i'm just thinking of example so say your partner has a horrible habit of never making the bed and so you get stuck in the morning doing that every day. You don't wait till two or three years into the relationship when you've done it a thousand times in your very angry about it you wait maybe a week or two and you say hey. I've been making the bed. And i was wondering maybe you can do it tomorrow. Right you do it with more curiosity. I right but you do express can can. Can you help me with this so instead of you need to do make the bed or instead of your fucking child make your bed. You're coming in curious coming in. Hey can you help me with