Mike, Mike He, Harmlessness discussed on 4 Things with Amy Brown
Third thing Mike and you you kind of getting well off the streets into where you are now. I say you're kind of off the streets because you really still out there. That's your daily. We'll be always will be so it's a whole it's you haven't left that life behind you because that's what you now in harmlessness never leaves anybody. Okay if you've ever been homeless I say it all the time. I will always be homeless. It's one of those experiences that you go through just sticks with you for the rest of your life in in my case in a positive way It's truly a blessing to be able to wake up every day and do what I do. I get so much joy out of it But I know some that have come off the streets and it's really hard for them to move on. They do but that baggage is still attached to them from the experience they had for however long they were on the streets some of it could be even labeled like like. PTSD it is. And I have. I have been diagnosed with. PTSD due to what what I experienced and how it still affects me. As I said earlier I still have the nightmares. I still fight the depression But my amazing wife that we'll talk about later she is really she's my rock and she's the one that keeps me going through those moments so she's the one keeping you going. How did Mike help get you where you are? As I said earlier he built that relationship. Now it wasn't smooth And it took an incident that I'm fixing to share with you for I guess things to really Explode between him and I to appoint an in a good way because it opened the floodgates that where I would where I ended up sharing with him? MM everything there was to know about Stephen And that incident took place. It was Christmas Eve twenty thirteen. I'd I'd been on the streets for quite a while and I had made a promise to myself that I was not gonNA spend another holiday season on on the streets because there was just the worst time of year to be homeless and I had come to the end of my rope even although I hadn't Mike and I had some other people. It's still just didn't outweigh the bad. And I was tired of living the way I was living and I was going to do something about it and even though I never done drugs I knew a lot of people that had and I knew a lot of people that were and so I asked a simple question. How many and what kind of pills do I have to buy to end my life and I was told and I proceeded to start buying them as I could? My Gosh and that Christmasy twenty thirteen. I mean I was ready to go I went over to the as I tell now when I speak and and tell my story I went to luxuriance hallmark in on Trinity Lane which anybody ever goes by luxury is not one of those things that pop out but I could get a room for nineteen dollars and ninety five cents plus tax. And I'd say that the money I had the pills in my pocket and it was going to be Hotel California. I was going to check him. But it wasn't gonNA check out and I tell people I was at peace. I was that far gone that that seemed the only only way out for me and I couldn't live with the pain anymore. I couldn't live with the treatment. I couldn't live with the the feeling that I was a total failure and it was my fault the shame and all of that. That went with being homeless so I checked in I went up. I'd written out some letters. I didn't know if the people that I wrote the letters to. I didn't know if they would ever read them but I thought I needed to do that. I took a shower. I don't know why probably because I hadn't had one in a few days and did some other things and but I was. I knew I was going to do and I was completely comfortable with it. And I'll I'll never forget. I sat down at the little round table that was in the room and I just happened under there was little. Am FM clock radio on the nightstand. Next bad it was nine o'clock Christmas it's time The next thing I remember is there was a knock on the door and it kind of startled me and as uh spun look at the door and start to say who visit. I caught the clock again in my vision as I was turning and it was eleven o'clock now this really kind of what the heck the pills were still there. The letter still there. I was still sitting upright in a chair that had no arms and and I'm thinking where is two hours gone will then there's a knock at the door again only this time. There's a voice with it and the voice says sir. Are you checking out or are you staying over. It wasn't eleven o'clock Christmas Eve it. It was eleven o'clock Christmas Day. Wow I didn't no what did just happen but there was. I was experiencing something that I never experienced ever in my life and that was a piece inside of me that let me know that no matter what happened from this point forward I was going to be okay It was going to be okay. I had never known that from a child on I tell people when I speak now I went across the street. I checked. I had just enough money to pay for another night and I had like eight dollars and thirty two cents left. I remember that distinctly eight thousand thirty two cents so I went to the front desk. I paid for another night. And there's this little map co Wendy Mc full blown map co just one of those little mini Matt Coles across the street street so I went over there. They were opened. I spent my eight dollars and thirty two cents on cokes and chips and candy bars. I went back to the hotel room. I turn the TV on PLOP down in the middle of that bed. It was one of the best Christmases I'd ever had in my entire life and is still in the top five and and when might found out getting back to Mike He said for the first time we got DP. What led you to this point? Mike became the first person that I ever told about what happened to me when that was twelve years old. My two oldest brothers passed away. I had two brothers laughed. Nobody knew until I told Mike Nick but my mother and my father myself in the man that did it to me. You told Your Mom and your dad told my mom and my dad. Okay and my dad. Dad looked at me and said well. What did you do to make Kim thank? That's what you wanted and my mother looked at me and said he's a deacon year you I don't believe you nobody else is going to. We don't need the embarrassment we do not talk about this ever again okay. So it was an from that point until I told my nobody knew. I carried that with me all of those years and literally. I knew when I told him and his response. That was the first time I said I can trust this man and let me tell you how big that is. That was December of twenty thirteen. The first week in March chat twenty fourteen with his help. I walked off the streets for good and October. Two thousand fourteen. I borrowed six hundred dollars for Mike to start this ministry and we're going into our sixth year. He never judged adjudged he listened. He never told me what he thought I should do. He always asked what I wanted to do. And he never pride he never questioned. He waited for me to tell him what he wanted wanted to know. And eventually he knew everything there was to know about me all the way back to my childhood without ever having task and that is what it takes one person being willing to invest in one person completely for however long it takes that will change angel life in such a profound way that you you can't begin to imagine the the outcome and I'm living proof literally living proof of that so I feel like like that's wisdom for us to know if you WanNa make an impact on someone in the homeless community Maybe not everybody can invest the one on one right or maybe they don't I mean my ah. I felt like. He's not sure that their stuff on Mike's in the world for sure that can do that but some people might be like. Okay but gosh I still I still WanNa know what's what I can do. Or what's the best thing to say. Maybe if you're not trying to go to that level but who knows it may evolve into that everybody's hearts can be ever changing and some but if people are trying to do a baby step into that You know it is it. I guess I'm just trying to figure out like how when we are. You make a difference when we well I we. We know that a lot of people right now are wanting to get out and volunteer and help and serve in these November December months but so a takeaway as do it twelve months Out of the air. Find a way to gather your family in. Maybe you don't have to commit to every single month but you know if you want if you want your family to be involved in that and you look at your family calendar under you're like Gosh. Let's pick April because we know that's when there's a need and we're gonNA rally together and that'll be our every April thing and then spread the word. Tell your our other friends that are wanting to get involved the like the simple when we drive by and wave a roller window down like is food. Food is is if you don't have money or some people if they're not willing to give money but they're willing to like have snacks in the back of their car like we'll keep snacks sometimes in the back and then roll down in like the kids but I mean even that I don't know I mean sure they don't WanNa turn it away but like okay like I don't want to be offensive and you won't be Bay but I'm GonNa tell you if you want to make a real impact it won't cost you a penny okay. I can't tell you how many times.