Robert Kelly, Murder, Mike discussed on Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Skeptic. Three eighty five just fifteen fourteen until Danish O'Neill or for fourteen depending on if account this one or not. So there's a new segment On on March I kept a lot of people. WanNa talk this fucking Shit. That's going on in the world now. I'd rather not. I'd rather fuck ignore that completely. Okay but Liz. Reyes mind if you read the newspaper which I do now which is fun Like by the newspaper as opposed to getting your news stories from the fucking Internet the Internet has an algorithms. They find out what you fucking hate and care about and they guide you. Just keep on the same fucking thing not the newspaper. The newspaper just offers shit to everybody. They don't say like I'm going to keep pushing this right Alfred. Whatever to everybody so you're I just scans what you like it. If you're tired of stories about something it doesn't shove a bunch more in your face shoves the same percentage as always and so. If you're like well I'm going to go to sports. Sports is right there if not style section. That's also there whatever you want so One thing I like is going to local digest. I do one of these on Joe Louis the Joe podcasts. Silent but deadly couple podcasts ago but And it was about some fucking dude with Fuck Molotov cocktail at a cop. Car Bounced off at didn't even fucking hit so left. Is this time bring fucking blown out is right with light? Whatever anyway so on this one I don't can't can find separated to us. I can't fucking find it whatever Anyway some fucking fourteen year old boy was charging the murder of a nine month old charge them motor of a nine month old. No I got that wrong. Fucking NINE YEAR. Old was charging a murder four month old listener. How the details down? I think it might have been a nine year old charged in the murder of a four month old so they came to his house to inspect four days earlier. And they're like Sums up but we're not. We don't see any foul play and then four days later that kid is fucking. Gonzo who dead. Wow and they'll do a follow up. I'm sure I'm sure because they did the Molotov cocktail like four days later. They had like man charged. I it was whatever and then it was charged so I bet they'll do a follow up. What does he think was jealousy? I get being jealous but dude. If you're that nine year old listen. We got guide that kid because he's a winner that kids a winner. He's not just me like this. This my little new daughter. You know my little sister. I don't like a little sister. And he's trying to like make fun of our or cut her hair and her crib now. This kid's taken a level. He's getting shit done. Well fuck in. What a fuck and winner. That kid is so anyway. That's kind of thing I'm talking. Fill my time with some of that. Some of it. Obviously podcasts. By the way please join my Patriot do to last week during two this week far. He didn't want to travel one. Take you through a travel story. The plan is this. I do a troll travel story. Okay I have a picture. I went through a whole list of pictures in my in. My S. D. Card. So what you call it with the thing you stick in the side of the computer And I just pick out a picture and post that and then I just tell along this one over an hour. An hour story about the me visiting this one was the pyramids in Egypt to go to Patriots Dot Com skeptic tank. Help support me in place where this ad should be the only do these intros is for the fuck and ad space and I turned out too many ads so I should just start fucking episodes especially some people like just looking in the episode. Actually I don't mind if you WANNA skip ahead to the fucking interview part. You don't like that's cool man like what you like Yeah I love people. Try to catch on stuff when I released my first special people like. Oh now you want me to buy it right because it's like a five dollar purchase and I was like yeah unless you stream stuff and then fucking steelers if that's what you do. I'm not a hypocrite. I've been I've been wrong. A bunch and I've done shit that I don't believe in but what did I realize like? Oh Shit and I go back on it you whatever anyway. Sidetrack myself the point. Is this go to my patriot. What's he gonNa say to last week to be this week? I have a mailbag thing. That's Patriot so when I'm GONNA DO I don't want to talk about that fucking Shit. That's talking rules. The newspaper the same show. All the black community is being hurt by it. let's talk about. How museums are suffering by. Let's talk about how that people are baked at home fucking inspirational story about a grandmother and her grandchild fucking coughing each other. Whatever it is enough. We want to get away once. Comedy clubs are open up again. I I already told. The owner of the Falcons seller the booker. Seo You gotTa have a no corona night. I told the guy to stay in to Chris. I was you know Corona night where no Coruna jokes are allowed. We WanNA fuck it. Forget this I remember during the Hillary Hilary and What's his name? Donald election and I was and it was like when was the election November and it was like early October and I was like who you guys voting for our challenge in my lecture materials. Like so you guys voted and I'm telling you like forty percent of the crowd just goes I hadn't even picked a side. I hadn't even sat on voting for this that I said pretty much. Let's talk about politics and they were like and I get it. Man Enough is enough. We don't WanNa hear about things so I'm not GonNa talk about that thing okay. But I'm GonNa talk about because on our minds is something sort of different sort of led by that. I want to talk about what we want to do again. It's almost like you know how there's like real estate porn pass a place you go on. Zillow like how much is this place can cost you know. Or what are the kinds of porn or are there Travel Porn Patriot dot com slash. Schedule tank. A fucking thing. Where you can kind of live through me or a going people's instagram travel. You travel porn or what does or a sexual porn. That's one. That's little known where you can live vicariously through someone else's fucking hardcore spit in the fucking mouth shit and so I'm doing starting series called five things. I WanNa do five things. I can't wait to do again. Start with Robert Kelly. Bobby Kay no one calls him that and it's just Robert Kelly's five things I can't wait to do and it's just going to be a bunch of because I don't have a top everybody especially with nothing new going on. I don't come across. That's how I get these fucking topics for this shit. Okay I come across someone story. They told me I was that win. The world series of poker went to the final table. Once I was like what? Oh that's on my schedule. Brain goes fucking produce. That I'm booking you so not much news going on not getting into conversations that people. I'm not finding out crazy new things but this episode is brought to you by the Washington. Post everybody's Washington Post something. I read almost every day. It's not a paid subscription. Nowhere is by the way that packs staying. I did on instagram. Bought a pack. Everyone's like or he's fucking Schilling for Pax. I guess he's got a sponsor look I wouldn't mind as a sponsor but I'm just saying I went and bought a backs. How you telling me that. I'm fucking selling out on my instagram. What I made a purchase. Say This fucking hundred forty bucks plus shipping and tax. It's good though like that pack. It's fucking easy to use. You just fucking hit a button. Way told Turns Green in like twenty seconds and then smoke. I like I like maybe there's better ones. Maybe not but it fucking works easy. I told my friend when I actually afterwards did some research on like dude. I don't know the best one for your pocket and the easiest one to us. Just fucking hit a button. Don't deal with it it's good. I'm sure there's better ones whatever you got but like the packs dot the packs three packs to because the packs three. I don't know it's fucking the juice that you Japan to just smoke weed. Who THE FUCK. What the fuck are you doing you ever see? Those people take torches out and like you guys dad and they have a whole rig and my bro- we're in a car you can't light up a fucking torching a car. Let's go on a hike. Oh I got my my rig you rig no dude. I brought a fucking dupe tube and a lighter. Let's hear that here that's fucking easy. It's fucking easy anyway. The point is not a sponsor but you should get one if you're looking for fucking way to vape instead of smoke week. 'cause you're not supposed to smoke anymore. I saw I read the smoking. The carcinogens is bad for this fucking corona virus thing. I like how in America were like. Oh we're done with it now. Mike. It's getting talking about talking about so we're talking about is what you. WanNa do and everybody has these things. It's like prisoners. Have these things you know where they're like well when I get out? I can't drink from a water fountain again like a water. I know it's just something I've been thinking about hitting that thing. Get Nicole water having to turn cold. I just can't I don't know why I just can't bind of orange juice and drinking on the street. It's not the best things you ever want to do. Is just the things that you can somehow can't wait to get back to so I'm going to call each one. Robert Kelly's five things. I can't wait to do again. Thompson. Gore's five things I can't wait to. Hopefully he'll be on like an in a week or two shed just put out the INTROIT for his episode. I lost the episode because it was fucking quality. Was Shitty fucking laptop. Mike. Boorda another one. But maybe I'll put that on Patriot. I'll put that on Patriot anyway. So this'll be Robert. Kelly's Bobby Kelly is one of those two five things. I can't wait to do again. And that's all we talked about. And that's all we're GONNA talk about it is Is Things that you just. Kinda can't wait to do it again. It's fucking activity porn. That's all it is.

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