Keith, Keith Malley Hamda, Keith Molly discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Welcome Keith and the girl. I'm Keith Malley Hamda. Oh by the way Hamda no you. Were talking about how you went to Atlantic. City can relate a poker tournament against stranger after stranger everybody having different different skills and techniques forty seven people then we played a home game and I won that one and I won- that when is the thing yes so grand champion of the World Keith Molly is here. Thank you did really well and you know you've very tough to play against to be honest and everyone says that everyone I pulled but it is very tough because you play like a crazy person which I know they hate casinos but it you can't predict what you're doing which is perfect. The thing is is all these experts that I was playing against. They play expertly right so you kind kind of start predicting. That's how they play. They start even showing their tells but you you're just a nutcase just like adolescent feel all the time so it's perfect people make a joke. They say I'll play poker. Someone says knowing that go. Oh great come on over. No you don't want those people don't while he took me out because he's like. I don't know this Dan you know when it ended with me and circuses. Yeah and circuses was willing to split the money and I don't WanNa do that might astle asa cut kind of but no like ultimately no. It's like a Keith is always like that sort of feeling but at the same time it's like yeah you should play because because you will play crazy and you are likely to win till fuck everybody. Thank you fuck you but yeah. He started playing like an asshole so he lost Today's guests featured on access. TV's Gotham comedy live foxes Red Eye Siriusxm the Edinburgh Fringe Festival why away a so so many questions questions don't worry about her. That was my no one follows me why I have nothing making their viscosity. CONGRATS congrats on the big poker win thank you. I'll take out okay so I know that you weren't willing to split with her boyfriend. She's GonNa Start He. He won both of our money back. Here's what so he paid for my end just because he was closer to his wall as I was closer to mind so we do a twenty dollar buying then he so he paid for both of us. That's it's forty dollars. He won forty dollars so afterwards and this is so not romantic but we're walking to pick up my bike and here's a twenty six that you could feel like you want uh-huh so you can have that in your pocket and he was like that's stupid but okay but then he put this. We have a jar of of like hey will go on vacation when we feel we fill it with like you know winnings of poker or change from our pocket and so he just put it in there we go to Vegan restaurant. Can you imagine that a Vegan restaurant charges money like a restaurant. It was a good restaurant. He just likes to complain it with loves complaining winning right. It's like his favorite thing then he gets to the right in his notes and bring it up on the shell my girlfriend I am. This is the best I I feel like I don't mean to show. I feel like I should on him. Come and the rows Yup. It's women power sinking going on. I understand that don't you feel about absolutely absolutely. I'm kicking him right now under the table at the ocean or at this restaurant. I find something that has teriyaki sauce rights who may be contributing. It's tolerable. It was delicious. She doesn't even get something with flavor because she's got this sauce aversion she goes. I'll take the out for I know. I sound like I'm so cheap. I complain a plane like this but for like thirty dollars she gets four vegetables that are she doesn't care what their rice beans. Lima beans. We what do we do. We go to the gym or something I think it was gonna be on your side but it is getting hard with no no no this Nevada and the waiter goes to what the bean isn't she goes now. It's been at the day with any. All beans are okay with the charging money does because it's food in a restaurant now because I don't drink. I see her not drinking making her drink. That's another dollars. It was very strong they gave me. It's always very strong honey. That's alcohol. It's strong it was it was it was a Soga. It was very good at martial people that do that but we talked about right like I have a cousin. That's like anytime. She goes and get a Pinochle. Can I get opinion. Okay we get it right but don't you do that sometime. I only do that with I- Yukimi. You give me an example like where's the where's the country. WanNa go to with me. Argentina hinting Indiana in Uruguay. I don't know if he's still does but I make fun of me. What do I am like everything else is normal. There's a lot of why you you know I was looking at a map and I saw I saw right safe. I'm Dan then. You get to say look. Why am I like it. It's cute. It's just it's funny funny. Thanks I'll take the Lima bean kind of you know. She never said that ever ever. It's just amazing that they can charge for vegetables right. It's Garnish but you get a lot. I once went to Vegan recipes years and years and years ago I I'm with you. I think the flavor flavor of the doesn't matter that it's not meet meet meet is actually less expensive than vegetables It's a lot easier to go shopping. If you're just a meat eater I think but he goes it was at the right not bad this like lots of flavors. There's different courses and he's like a bunch of great side dishes. Okay it depends what they do like they have a dish with sweet potatoes but they like they bake them and they put cinnamon and olive oil on top in there. It's delicious. It's really good okay. You're let's go to bear Burger. A you know what also what else could it be mad in the so the last time I was with her magic. We go to a restaurant and she gets she gets a steak and then the looks at it doesn't like it then thanks to our son who just gone trouble for lying to her about something so now the sun for no reason gets a thirty dollar. Steak family can learn anything okay. Here's the deal yes we we went to get food steak for the steak medium well and it was it was it was rare so I can tell by looking at it when it's bleeding that I'm like okay. I'm not GonNa this is not what I want and I. I had had some appetizer so I said you know. I'll just wrap it up. I'll take it home so I took it home and I didn't feel like cooking. My kid was like is there any food to eat and the other to hit eaten the rest of food when I was like Oh my God. Are you telling me Fed your song. I did and I know it's this gusts him even eat amazing Keith. She's she just shouldn't even sell it to her son. She just gave food to her son and his correct that is amazing and he fucked up and he fucked up he fucked up and he's still gets food in your house. Yeah Wow wow wow Allah. I will say this interesting this is I think it's not just a lot of people are like for someone who has such an aversion to his parents or one parent. He seems to recall he. He constantly compares his growing up to my kids. If I give my kids who live in New York City a little bit of money to walk to school with plastic bags on my feet like okay. Sorry your parents were a little like his mom still thinks it's the depression is so much going on and so he's constantly like comparing his childhood to mind and meanwhile he'll give away his childhood so easily easily if you said can I swap can can keep swap with one of your kids the childhood he'd be like yeah you better mom would swap. You can do anything right so maybe don't go. This is what I had to do. That's what you should do to your. It's two in the morning. I have for ice cream. Can I go out more. How old is this didn't happen. How when. How late does this boy like ice cream. Oh there was one. There was one isolated incident where he wanted to. I don't know maybe it was like eleven thirty or so. I said no but you know what I said to you. Shut it down now. That's that's not reasonable. No you know what's weird is Keith is so much better at raising kids than you very interesting because you know you didn't push any out your badge and interesting. He's just so good at it. Just like a national like he we went to this festival must be so thrilled to have such a good parent we so great when it comes out of your body of this bond and it's unconditional love it and then you need somebody that's practical tell you hey. I don't know I understand okay okay. He's not like magical in love with her kids. Sometimes I am but he he was on a ride with the younger one and it was so funny because it's like my son and then it looks like this big kid that got left back in high school in like elementary schools like L. It was like this big ass kid. It was just hilarious. They were both on this ride. Together is is one of those festivals stressful yeah those little pop up rods and so you enjoyed that like a big kid hilarious yeah if you could be. Keith it's best friend no matter what age you are if you like doing exactly the thing that he likes to do in the exact way so don't go to restaurant and take the leftovers and do something else but put them in your interface. That's not what Keith would do so don't do it. Keith just leaves food out on the street and then picks back up. I don't know if you've heard that dearly our food food okay. How did that feel so just to recap. You're going to feel like I was with the homeless. You're going into Madonna concert. You had leftovers you. We're going to give it to a homeless person on the away didn't find a homeless person. He probably took an uber there so he put it on top of something pretty high because he's tall when you came out of the concert. It's still was in the same shape the same way that he left it so he took it back in eight. It was something like it looked like that's doing but in my brain would please. I must be seeing things. That's not what I was doing. That's not what he's doing. Oh my God he's doing it. Are you okay with telling anyone about this. Did you tell any of your friends. I know and I recommended. I said I said to him because I know he shares to all the listeners out there. He shares everything that you guys and I remember thinking to myself. Don't maybe don't mention this one on the show and he goes Oh. This is part and like you're going to help people about this league. You're okay I just we all have weird shit about arson some things we keep to ourselves. I just thought that would have been a private. Do you see why the show's called Keith and the girl. It's very embarrassing very embarrassing but he's your article and explain it away. I don't I really wish I I said to him. I'm like you know. There's so many good fun things about you that I guess I guess we'll let this just be one of the cons like if you do a list of pros. There's a lot of pros and then there's like this weird. She was disgusted. I picked the dime off the ground the other day. Yes okay that's right. You're wrong. You're so wrong. I'm even okay with this food thing but it's too much fun to make fun of so. I pretended not Bianchi side but that's a dime. I mean Okay I. Where was it was in the subway. Don't give me the Jew is we've. WHA- which is better than the other ground yes. It was the subway ground all right. It's a dot is money and you know what you're telling the universe you don't. Oh whoa money you believe in. I'm not telling university. I think there's interesting because he's not cheap. He's very generous. Whenever we go out we you know he's he always even like I remember you you and carry out one time for Brunch and carries like yeah..

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