Mark, Pinochle Ladas, Don Net discussed on Optimal Living Daily
Why the best things in life are all backwards partout by mark, , Manson, , of Mark. Manson . Don net. . There's another curve one that you've probably never seen or heard of before this largely because I make a lot of it up that steep inverted Kerr. . The inverted curve is the bizarro twilight zone curve where effort and reward have a negative correlation that is the more effort put into doing something the more you will fail to do it. . Drown proofing exists on inverted curve the more you put into rising to the surface the more likely you'll be to fail at it. . Similarly, , the more you want to breathe the more likely you are to choke on a bunch of chlorinated water. . But I know what you're thinking. . So what Mark I've usually had too many Pinochle Ladas to even find the deep end of the pool much less buying my arms and legs and try to survive in it. . Who gives it about inverted curves. . Is. . True. . Few things in life functional an inverted curve but the few things that do are extremely important. . In fact, , I will argue that the most important experiences and goals in life all exist on an inverted curve. . Effort and reward have a linear relationship when the action is mindless and simple effort and reward of a diminishing returns relationship when the action is complex and multi variant. . On the action becomes purely psychological and experience that exists solely within our own consciousness the relationship between effort and reward becomes inverted. . Pursuing happiness takes further away from it attempts at greater emotional control only remove us from it. . The desire for greater freedom is often what causes us to feel trapped the need to be loved and accepted prevents us from loving and accepting ourselves. . All this Oxley once wrote quote the harder we try with a conscious will do something the less we shall succeed proficiency and results come only to those who have learned the paradoxical art of doing and not doing or combining relaxation with activity and quote. . The most fundamental components of our psychology are paradoxical does is because when we consciously try to create a state of mind, , the desire for that state of mind creates different and often opposite state of mind from the one we're trying to create this is the backwards law explained in chapter one of the subtle art of giving. . Desiring a positive experience is itself a negative experience? ? Accepting a native experience is a positive experience. . But this extends to most if not all aspects of our mental health and relationships. . Number one control the more we strive to control our own feelings impulses the more powerless we will feel army national life is unruly enough uncontrollable, , and it's the desire to control. . That makes it worse. . Conversely, , the more we accept our feelings and impulses, , the more were able to direct them and process them. . Number two freedom. . The constant desire for more freedom ironically limits us in a number of ways. . Similarly, , it's by limiting ourselves by choosing committing to certain things in life that we truly exercise our freedom. . Number three happiness trying to be happy makes us less happy. . Accepting unhappiness makes us. . Happy. . Number four security trying to make ourselves feel as secure as possible generates more insecurity being comfortable with uncertainty is what allows us to feel secure Number five love. . The more we try to make others love and accept us the less they will and more importantly the less we will love and accept ourselves. . Number six respect the more we demand respect from others the last they will respect us the more we ourselves respect others the more they will come to respect us. . Number seven trust the more we try to make people trust US less inclined they will be to do so the more we trust others the more they will trust us in return. . Number eight confidence the more we try to feel confident the more insecurity in Zion. . We will create the more we accept our faults the more comfortable we will feel in our own skin. . Number nine change the more we desperately want to change ourselves the more we will always feel as though we are not not whereas the more we accept ourselves the more we will grow and evolve. . Will be too busy actually doing cool to notice. . Number ten meaning the Mauri pursue a deeper meaning or purpose lives. . The more self obsessed shallow. . We will become the more we try to add meaning to others lives the more profound impact we will feel. . These internal set logical experiences exist on an inverted curve because they are both the cause and the effect of the same thing our minds. . When he desire happiness, , your mind is simultaneously the thing that desiring and the target of its own desires. . When it comes to these lofty abstract existential goals. . Our minds are like a dog who after a lifetime successfully chasing and catching various small creatures has turned into cited to exact same strategy on its own tail to the dog. . This logical after all chasing his led her to catch everything else in her dog you life why not her tail to? ? But a dog can never catch her own tail more. . She chases the more her tail seems to run away as because the dog lacks the perspective to realize that she in the tail of the exact same thing. . The goal is to take your mind a wonderful thing that has spent his life learning and chase various creatures and teach it to stop chasing its own tail to stop chasing meaning and freedom and happiness because those only served to move it further away from itself to teach it to achieve what it desires by giving up what it desires to show it, , how the only way to reach the surface is by letting itself sank. . And how do we do this? ? By letting go by giving up by rendering. . Not, , a weakness but out of respect that the world is beyond our grasp, , a recognizing that we are fragile and limited and but temporary specs in the infinite reaches of time. . You do it by relinquishing control not because you feel powerless but because you are powerful because he decided to let go of things that are beyond your control, , you decide to accept that sometimes people won't like you that often you will fail they. Usually . you have no think Lou, , while you're doing. . You lean into fear and uncertainty, , and just when you think you're going to drown just as he reached the bottom, , it will launch you back to your salvation. .