Accepting Yourself


In my one on one session with a few of you over the past couple of weeks, I've noticed a recurring theme of stress anxiety and depression all stemming from being concerned about what other people think. It's a fascinating combination of both insecurity and self obsession I. Mean we spend so much time thinking about ourselves how we look how we sound how we come across how do we compare if we lack confidence or feel empty inside we ended up filling that void with other people's opinions of us even though we know that their judgment actually reveals more about them. than it does about us but I admit that there are times when I also worry about someone else's judgement of me but it's only when I'm insecure with how I feel about myself and the more confident I am about my decisions, the less I need them approved or accepted by others might take away is that if we don't know who we are, then we run the risk of believing what others think about us. My friend Justin was raised by a father who always pushed him to succeed by yelling at him to do better comparing him to others calling. Him Lazy a loser even when he was getting as in school and winning trophies and sports nothing was ever good enough for him. Fast forward to Justin. Now as an adult who despite being successful has been wealthy still believes he would never amount to anything because his father's voice is now in his own head years after his father's passed away Justin is still trying to impress the man who has never been impressed by anything. Anyone has ever done I feel the weight of all this whenever I spent time with. Justin. It affects every decision he makes it sucks. All the joy out of anything you accomplishes in life because he knows it will never be enough for his father just imagine how light he would feel if he stopped carrying what his father thinks about him if justin sets his own values defines what enough means to him and feels accomplished at the end of every day for the first time in his life and many ways we all have those voices in our heads judging, US comparing us but it's important not to identify with those demons to recognize them for what they are and start writing a new narrative. I think I would bring this up but in the book I actually talk about feeling fat when I was a teenager because of a passive comment, my mother wants made about me getting chunky. So I spent the next few years getting in shape and lifting weights with the sole purpose of. Ultimately, becoming a stripper when day because I thought the only way, I would ever feel attractive is if people paid me to take my clothes off well, if you've read my book, then you know that even when I did in fact, become a stripper with an eight-pack and biceps bigger than my head. The Pale Chunky kids still stared back at me in the mirror I thought that if Hundreds of people told me I was hot. It would cancel out my mother's taunting in my head but her comment held more weight than I had lost and it wasn't until I change the narrative stopped trying to impress the woman who was much like Justin's dad never impressed with anyone no matter what that I didn't necessarily start thinking of myself as attractive the pendulum has actually swung to the. Opposite end of not caring at all about whether others buying me appealing or not. If we each define our own core values, calibrate our moral compass and set clear intentions than we can finally be. Okay. If someone doesn't like US especially when we know they struggled to like themselves and Buddhism, we talked so much about acceptance but we have to start by accepting ourselves once we do that. We

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