A highlight from Workout: Stressful Situations

THE BRENDON SHOW
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Automatic TRANSCRIPT

How do you deal with stressful situations so you don't freak out or have a ton of anxiety and fear leading up to them? 'cause maybe you have a big public speaking engagement coming up, or maybe you have that test at school coming up or maybe you're about to have that difficult conversation with somebody that you wanted to say something to them, but you've been holding back and you know it's gonna freak you out when you go to tell them the truth. Whenever in a situation that we know are going to bring a stress, it really is on us to prepare our absolute best so that a we deal with them well, and we can actually enjoy the experience or go through the experience without freaking out. But B, we don't freak out the energy of everybody else, right? Because in all of the storms of life, it is our job to be the calm amid the storm. If you don't anticipate the emotions that you're going to have in stressful situations, I promise the situation is gonna win, not you. So always anticipate, okay, this is gonna be hard. This conversation, this test, this day, this thing, it's going to be hard anticipate. It will be hard. Now, who has gone through it before, who I can ask how they dealt with it? That's the first stretching. Second strategy, I need you to make a pre during and post stress management plan. If I'm going to go have that difficult experience in my life. I'm in a plan, really plan the day before the day of and the day after. I'm really gonna think through it. So let's say you're gonna have that difficult conversation with somebody you love. Okay, the day before, I'm gonna say, okay, well, the night before, I'm gonna ask myself these questions, I'm gonna rehearse it a little bit. The morning of, I'm gonna breathe. I'm gonna close my eyes, I'm gonna visualize it going just fine, everything's gonna be fine. If they say this, I'll say that. In other words, I'm gonna roll play it in my mind over and over and over again during the day. And then afterwards, oh, how would I follow up with them to make them feel good? I think it's incredibly important that if you know you have something stressful coming up that you visualize it over and over and over again, that you play it in your mind over and over and over again. But here's the difference, okay? Fear mongering or worrying is thinking about it and seeing it go bad every single time. Visualizing is seeing you show up, confident, capable, doing a good job, confident, capable, doing a good job. I want you to every single time visualization should be a positive thinking exercise where you're seeing the situation and you're seeing yourself handle it well. But you're also noticing that things that are difficult. What if they say this? Or if they say that? And you're kind of like scenario planning. If she says this, then I'll say that. If he does this, then I'll do that. But keep the momentum going and visualize the thing all the way through. Almost everything you do in your life. You should think, how do I enroll friends or find peers to do this with them? So I stay on the journey. When you have friends or others involved, we know from social sciences that you're more likely to stay committed, stay consistent and succeed. But guess what? We're in a society of selfies where we only think of ourselves and we only because we're scared to ask for help or be vulnerable and say, I don't know. We do everything ourselves. And everything I ever do, I literally sit down. Here's my goal list. Anytime I write down goals, I don't dis write down. When's it going to happen? What's my next step? You know, what's the deadline? Instead, I also write next to it. And I say, who can I enroll with me on this goal? Get people enrolled with you in your goals. People enrolled with you so we can role play with them, ask, participate, go through it with them. It's not so scary. I know you know this, if you ever been to the county fair, I'm from Montana. So we always have the county fair, and there would be these big huge, scary rides when I was a kid. I never went on a ride by myself as a kid. Never once. I go grab my buddy. Hey, you're coming along with me to go. What are you kidding? I'm not going to he didn't want to go. I didn't want to go, but when we said, let's go together. We got on that zipper. We got flipped around and kicked around and we loved it. And we only did it because we did it together. You will face greater stresses and greater fears when you go at it together.

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